Same sh*t, different day

U HAD to BE here to believe it. These are'nt bad resolution pictures - thats how the weather was!! Rain lovers in Mumbai - head to Lonavla/Khandala ASAP!! Of course, be sure to witness full aunty-uncle-tinku-minku type crowd, but so long as u got your little coterie with you, your set.

The expressway from the eating place at Dukes Retreat - the clouds completely shadow the hills that lie beyond.

Justttt before it started pouring and I could see this no more.
Its amazing - how a change of scenery can just put things into perspective. I came away from a small day and a half long picnic with a calm realization of the battle that lies forth, and how much introspection lay impending - and ignored.

Do we actually reach a point in our lives when past experiences shadow future endeavours? Off late I seem to have proved everyones point - that I did live in a bubble, and being too much of an optimist and hoping against hope is for fools, that ONE day I will wake up with a eerie realization - 'I'm no longer that crazy optimist I used to be, Realism and Pessimism have overshadowed my dreams and longs and expectations'

Do we reach a point in our lives that we're so scarred that every experience seems like a re-run of the past? And if it isnt, well still feel that cause once bitten, twice shy? Should you learn from past experience and guard yourself better, or should you give new people/new situations a fair chance to get to know the real, soft, unedited, vulnerable you?

If you learn from each experience you go through and figure - 'I need to toughen up' - you may toughen up so much that no one will ever reach a point that they can hurt you. I wouldnt want this.

Else, if you DONT learn from each experience and continue being the same, you'd just be allowing people and situations to get the better of you and continue hurting. I wouldnt want that either.

What about the people you hurt along the way? The people who did no wrong except allow themselves to be caught up in your mess? Can you pass it off by saying that that's their battle, just like you have yours? Or should you not have allowed that person to get caught up in your entangled, entwined mind?

Where's that fine line? Between holding on to youself and letting go? Between loving someone and falling in love? Between learning from the past and looking forward to the future? Between being independent and fiercely guarded to learning to depend and share? I would really like to cross over to the other side....

Lets go!

Offer valid till stocks last?!!

I cannot be resigned to an occurence, event or state of being.
I cannot not have Butterflies in my stomach
I cannot align myself to forces of nature other than the ones I choose.
I cannot stand a calm unruffled serene existence (although i would crave one)
I cannot not be fiercely determined to want all my 'things'**
I can only be foolishly in tune with that little voice inside my head that will revolt against the sensiblest of ideas, and walk into complete disarray, defying all odds.
I can only be strong enough to deal with whatever the hells thrown at me
I can only be unnervingly independent cause in the end, its just me.

And I can know all the above and know that Ill be ok. Either which ways.

There's a lot to be said about intuition - that little voice in your head that sometimes is right against all odds. I find that somehow, when I fall back on that 'Gut feel' Im somehow always right.

Understand it, I cant. Sometimes when all the odds are in my favor, and it seems like nothing could go wrong, I'll be doubting the outcome. 'Come on, your being paranoid', or 'Your being too much of a realist' are rationale offered to my uneasiness on accepting a situation by friends and family. After all, they've got reason, logic and facts on their side, whereas all ive got is a measly little 'But I Have a Bad feeling about this'. Explanations none, reason facts and logic even lesser.

People who explain things algorithmically fail to factor in the 'You-never-knows'. The flow of Your a good person? If yes ----> Good things will happen to you does not always apply. In fact, there are two categories of Good people - Good people to whom good things happen and Good people to whom good things happen after much ado and heartbreak, trials and tribulations. Fondly also called the 'Aa Bail Mujhe Maar' , loosely translated as 'Im right here wild bull, come n get me, Im even waving a red flag for you'category.

Ive seen Daddy go through it - a simple thing like a formality to be completed or a form to be filled... 7563485875 people ahead of him would get through with ease, and he'd get stuck since the person decided to be on a 3 month leave or some frivolous reason. Albeit, it would get done but was everything he had to go through even fair? We once celebrated a promotion since we got inside news from top quarters ... which fell through due to some highly placed politics. Honesty and Integrity were shown their true place in this world where time and again I realize we need to include selfishness, shrewdness and rid naivete of all forms from our portfolio of emotions.

I'd say I take in after him, and If someone can describe me as having even a third of the qualities he has, I'd be over the moon. His devotion to duty, deep rooted integrity, civic sense and strength of character have always made me in awe of him, and always will. That said, Im also as impatient, restless and lucked out as he is. Ive never known what it is like to have something 'easy' - be it grades in school, love, friends, or even a childish thing of winning a prize. The closest Ive come to winning a 'Prize' was 5 bottles of Citra at kids housie :) Mistake this not, it is not self pity that makes me write this, it is simply something unforgettable! (and funny)

I just need a little luck, a little break from tumultous situations and a little stretch of smooth road for a while, for sometimes even the strongest of minds and hearts wears thin.

Of alcohol induced bonhomie

This weekend started out itself with a brilliant friday evening - and since I had a couple of events lined up for saturday as well as sunday I knew I was in for a tiring next coupla days.

'Made of Honour' was my weekend fiesta initiation. The movie is mostly flat with Patrick Dempsey being the only thing worth watching about it. Ok no, make that two things, there's a scene in the movie when he kisses Hannah (his best friend) that made my stomach plummet to my ankles or thereabout. [I'm wondering if im old enough to stop being flippy about these things?]

Dinner was at Ivy Lounge, with a glass of Merlot-something. I like this place, though I wish the inside was as nice as the outside. I have a theory about wine being had in a slightly dimly lit place, with mellow music and a nice companion. Its kind of an intimate drink, in my opinion.

Saturday night saw Serendipity at 'Shiro' - a lounge bar/club type place, with FANTASTIC ambience. Its a go-in-a-big-group or go alone with someone-you-have-so-much-fun-with-you-dont-care-whose-around type place. They serve a nasty Mojito, in a tall glass, no less which can make a happy person veryy happy. Add to this the house music they were playing and it all culminated into a brilliant time. The only bad move being some alcohol induced decision of 'Lets go to Bling' at 2.30 a.m. in the morning. There were all of 2 people not drunk, myself included and two cars so apparently since we had non drunk drivers = number of cars, we had problem solved. [except the tiny detail of Bling being at Andheri, and Shiro being at Worli, and most of us living in South Mumbai].

4-5+ Drinks raises enthusiasm levels to off the scale limits, hence we all set off, reached Bling at 3.15 to find out it would cost us about 3 grand a couple to enter. Did we enter? YOU THINK? Got home that errr morning at a shameful hour, only to be asked by mom the next day 'Beta what time did u come in home last night - 3?' and I dutifully nodded my head apologetically , all the time thinking (phew, im glad that wasnt an open ended question, had she waited for me to answer, i'd have had to tell her 4.30!!)

Sunday was spent playing Taboo and Jenga among most of the guys who were stull hungover from the previous night, and who were (wonder of wonders) still drinking. Im a sucker for board games - Pictionary, Taboo, Monopoly, Jenga are my favorite favorite party games YET. If there were any words to elaborate how much ive laughed and the ridiculous things these boys have said in their half drunk stupor, i would. Until then.

Cyanide and Happiness!

"Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without"
- Dr Meredith Grey

Edit - Completely Yearning for Season 4. Have watched until episode 6. Does anyone have the remaining? :)

Semi adventure sport # 2

Like completely overexcited, impatient fools who got carried away with the weekful of rains last week, we planned a trip to Durshet. Its a small forest Lodge close to Khopoli, that encloses close to 43 acres of land. Its a beautiful contrast to the cemented, commercial getaways we're generally used to. There was no television, cellular network or vehicles.

For once, you could hear the sound of yourself breathe, look out of the room and see an expanse of greenery and nothing beyond. The only spoiler (and what a spoiler it was) was the small teeny meeny itsy bitsy fact that IT DID NOT RAIN. However, the weather was overcast, cloudy and kept manipulating us into thinking that it will, in fact rain. But it did'nt. Darn it. Darn and Double darn.

source

The picture above is of the river Kundalika - where three of us from the group that had gone, went rafting. A must-do if u like thrills. Add this to the snorkelling we did at Maldives and im slowly striking off things i want to do from my list of 'Things i Have to Want to Must do'.

source

Its a whole lot of fun, although not life defying as we had expected it to be. As one of the people in our group said ' At no point were my balls in my mouth' lol. For the crass language, i apologise :). The rapids had interesting names -'Johnnie walker', 'Morning headache', 'Butterfly' etc. Our guide too, was the right combination of fun, serious, dispensed a lottt of information about the place and the sport which was good to know. The coolest part was jumping off the raft and into the river and swimming alongside for a nearly a km or two.

The drive to this place is absolutely picturesque, its as though your driving through small villages which have been untouched by technology and modern life. The roads are surrounded by lush greenery on both sides, and the other vehicles (!!!) will be the occasional meandering cows.

Did i forget to mention that like last time, im Tanned AGAIN?

Sunny side up

Must accredit the picture to my cousin who clicked this at Juhu beach...

We turn one year old today. This blog was born out of a long initial inertia to having someplace to take my thoughts. The Nomad, and I decided its high time so we set deadlines, and promised each other we wouldnt miss. And Serendipity was born. Why Serendipity? Why All that Jazz? She loves the word, hates the movie. Its got the right amount of enigma, can be understood with a romantic connotation if one wished, among other reasons. And thats what life's about isnt it? A little bit of heartache, a lot more fun, highest highs and low lows and all that jazz.

So heres to another year of being creepily moody, hormonal, brownie loving, incurably romantic, nostalgic and embarassingly crazy.

Of being there...and doing that.

Overrated and badly edited it was, but I came away from having watched Sex and the city very mellow. Was thinking to myself - 'Do I have a Charlotte or Miranda in my life?' The intense love and unquestioning caring between these women is the kind of friendship dreams are made of.
The scene where Charlotte hugs Carrie and doesnt let Big get near (on the road, right after the almost wedding) that sheer anger in her voice when she says 'NO', that assertive protectiveness in the way she held Carrie, that intense hurt she showed, gave me goosebumps.

I love the bond these women have, I love how 'each other' took precedence above all else, how everything is unimportant enough to ensure that they were there when Carrie needed them. 'Its the Movies' I KNOW! But by now its established that im a foolish foolish girl with stars in her eyes who still believes in romance and prince charming and all the other ghastly untruths of the world!

I loved the unthanking, assumed and seemingly routine way the love and friendship would be exhibited between these women, that there was no doubt Carrie was going over to Mirandas dressed in Pj's in the middle of the night, the undoubtability of these actions really struck a chord with me.

I LOVED that they love each other with so much passion, thats the only way love is meant to be loved. With a crazy intoxicating logic defying all encompassing execution of seemingly mundane things. Somewhere we're a lot more calculated, a lot less giving and even more held back....

Last evening i spent a few hours with someone who, thanks to my advice, Didnt hold back. he now regrets it, thanks to some confused woman who isnt sure what she wants. He asked me once -'What did i do wrong?' and i was B-L-A-N-K. The price hes got for being there, going ALL OUT, and giving her the benefit of doubt when she was acting like a kook is a broken broken heart. somewhere i blame myself, and my ridiculous theory of filmy romance. Maybe i ought to have asked him to play the game. Maybe i ought to learn to play the game myself.

That place

*sigh*

Wants, Needs and all the unnecesary accompanied reasons

I need shoes. Here are the top reasons why. (Let it be known that there are more, however in view of consumption of blogspace and saving of bullet points etc, I shall jot down only the most important ones).

1. Because i have only 2 pairs of stilettos now and one of them is really old.
2. I recently bought 2 really cute pairs of shorts and other than sneakers, have no other shoes that will GO.
3. In the last 3 weeks, two pairs of work flats BROKE. and I got only 1 replacement.
4. The stilettos at Nine west Called out to me
5. Ive always wanted a pair of really cool to-die-for Puma's. And if a guy friend validates that a pair of shoes is nice, imagine HOW NICE they must actually be!
6. I dreamt i owned the shoes in question
7. They're not shoes, they're a whole new me.
8. Because Rainy season's here and we ought to celebrate no?
9. The Ash moved to Kol and I no longer have anyone who convinces me into buying shoes i dont need. I mean i need.
10. Because ballet shoes look terrific on my feet. They told me.
11. Im a shoes and bags person. Also watches, perfumes and clothes. Which indicates i should be buying these things in quantities more than the average woman else i would be defying the definition. I wouldnt want to defy the definition now would I?
12. Its the 4th of June
13. After looking at these I had sweet sweet dreams.
14. My toes will be painted this weekend and deserve pretty shoes.

Good judgement and logic generally accompany most decisions. Hence i also made a list of why i should NOT BUY new shoes.

1. I am slightly broke.
2. errrr

Argghh. Why couldnt I have been born a guy. I would've owned a pair each of the following shoes in the following colours.

1. Black work shoes
2. Sneakers in Black, white or blue
3. Chappals in a colour that doesnt matter cos theyre chappals.

Coincidences anyone?

IT RAINED YESTERDAY!! And I, as someone rightly put it.. was in the right place at the right time. No coincidences this time, NO SIREEE! I was MEANT to be out when it rained first, it was a deal we'd made. Oh Joy!! Ive waited waited waited for it to rain again, and was counting down until it did!

Standing in the awning of Pheonix mills, i could barely contain my excitement. This thrill spread from head to toe.. i wanted to run into the rain, get soaked, splash into puddles, hug someone, yell out loud, get wet, get dry, go mad, wash off the past, bring in the new and top it off with a swiss hot chocolate from Barista. (with whipped cream on the side)

Never mind that this morning the sky is clear as clear could be, the excitement built up in me will tide me over for the next few days at least. Or when it begins to fade, maybe god can send me a shower :)

Ive done it before.. again and again and again ... talk about how much I LOVE the rain!
Its a complete treat for a romantic like me. The clouds which spell gloom and lethargy for some, mean dreamy, ecstatic fun for me. I left a lot of things undone the last rains, (somewhich i know will remain undone, for those are FAR too dreamy), but im determined to-do the others this time around. So here's my checklist -

• Sit at Marine Drive in the midst of a complete downpour, then walk down to Pizzeria and have a hot deep dish pizza.
• Sit in the corner window of a bookstore while it pours outside with a nice cup of chaii. How i wish Chabar had a window view, for they have brilliant ginger chaa.
• Drive down to Lonavla and back the same day. In all fairness, this was done the last time around too, but there are some things that just need to be repeated.
• Go to water kingdom on a rainy day. yipeee! MUST DO
• Spend all day getting wet, then get dry and have a nice cosy dinner with wine and fondue at Moshe.
• Have breakfast at U.S. Club in the smallshed near the Golfers Shop
• Drive around while it pours outside with a Caffe Caramello with whipped cream in my hand, and MUSIC (80's/ 90's english would be the cherry on the cake).
• Go to Aksa beach in the evening, get drenched, and then Vertigo for a drink :)

Phew. :)

Rajasthan Royals all the way!

As a rule, I land up supporting the Underdog. And this was no exception - Rajasthan Royals was defninitely the poorest team, with no coach and the only stars to boast of being Shane Warne battling personal problems and looking for redemption, and Graeme Smith.

They had no coach, no Icon as the Indian captain, no real crowd support, no big budgets for advertising and marketing, in fact, they had nothing to lose. Thats what the had going for them.

I LOVED the team spirit, the sheer determination, and never say die attitude that the team displayed. Had they lost yesterday, they had won our hearts anyway...really. Had we even heard of a Swapnil Asnodkar before this? This little guy, all of five foot somethign has held his nerves and undauntedly hit the best of the best for big overs. Niraj Jadeja, who looks more like he ought to be chilling at Barista with his teeny bopper friends had a MAGNIFICENT 69 run (6th wicket) parternship which won them a crucial match.

Each player came into his own in this team, each player found a niche and was supported by his team mates in executing it best. Words fail me in trying to express how proud I feel about a team full of youngsters who have shown so much maturity, so much calm and defeated the 'Icons' of this game - None of our four Icons Tendulkar, Ganguly, Dravid or Sehwag made their mark, faltering in strategy, teamwork, and at times in form altogether. With all the advantages these teams had, they went nowhere.

Have developed new found respect for Shane Warne...images of him patting Shane Watsons back after he (Watson) gave an over of 25 runs and telling him its ok, talking encouragingly to each player (some of whom dont even understand English very well), praising the 'young Swapnil' and Yusuf and the others, giving them the deserved credit, and taking very litle himself, will not leave me for a long time to come.

All in all, Im a little worried about what Im gonna do with all the excitiement and energy Ive managed to build up in the last 45 days. Phew.

Cats the way we like it?

Theres a new radio station on air. Its Mumbai's only 'Women only' channel. Err... women only channel? Do they not have male RJ's? Do men not tune in? Its called (wonder of wonders) 'Meow'.

Why Meow? Why women only? Not only did i find the idea ridiculous, but on tuning in, the channel itself is a waste of time. The discussions range from (hold your breath) 'Boyfriends' to 'Why Men are such fools' to (gasp) 'What women really want'.

The next step in progressing would possibly be discussing the 'Recipe for the week' sent in by an avid Meow listener im guessing. What a breakthrough in strategy . The channel clearly differentiates itself, carving a niche no one can (and will) dare enter - complete foolishness.

I wonder how i could forget to mention the traditional 'hello' being replaced by the (wow again) 'Meow'. it goes like this 'Hello abc, Meeeoow' and abc has to oblige with a 'Meeow' back. YIKES.

Someone explain to the world that we dont want womenhood celebrated in this way. We dont like cats, we dont like saying 'Meow' instead of hi, and we CERTAINLY dont like wasting time discussing boyfriend issues which for one, will ALWAYS be around. Men will always be Men and there will always be subsequent problems. :) Besides there are enough shows on the tele discussing these!

What we want instead, is an equal platform. Recognition. Gratification (from egoistic male boors who would rather die than admit it) for being the powerful assertive and rational beings that we are. Gifts, for being put through the confusion that surrounds male lives and having to help them deal with it. [Someone made on movie on 'what women want', why dint they just ASK]

A women only channel that calls itself 'Meow' is just moving in the reverse direction. I figured the COO is definitely male. [NO OFFENSE INTENDED] Its just validation of my initial guess.

The below excerpt from here.

Explaining the brand name Radio Today COO Anil Srivatsa said, "Meow embodies the attributes of a woman, where she can be all by herself. It symbolises spirituality, sensuality, professionalism. It is more than a cat call as everyone initially perceives. The cat is much more feminine, clean and free in itself. The various moods of a woman is explained. When somebody says meow four times, he can't help laughing. "

Really???? Thats how the womans mood is being explained??!!

Its no coincidence (Im guessing) that the channel is based on a 'On the air' host format rather than rather than 'jockeys' who host music programming. Since women love to talk?

I miss the midnight shift with Glen and the accompanying jingle 'I knoww your gonnaa diggg thiss!'

Death of an Innocent

Commonplace happenings these. Have been battling early morning rage on reading one devastating story after another whilst the breakfast tea routine. This has now given way to simply skimming through pointless tabloid-ish papers The Bombay Times and Mumbai Mirror, and then coming home and reading the paper.

Parents killing children, fathers fathering children with their daughters, siblings killing each other, incestous relationships, murders driven by fits of blinding anger and raving jealousy are an everyday piece of news. Not only that, the murders/acts themselves seem to have taken on more and more grotesque proportions since the recent past.

The recent case of the two murders currently in the limelight - the murder of a child Aarushi Talwar and manservant, and the other murder of Neeraj Grover. In the first case, not only is it appalling that a child was murdered, (that too in all probabilities by her father), but pains were taken to hide the manservants body in the neighbouring terrace to hide evidence.

I probably dont have all the facts with me, but somehow Rajesh Talwar and his wife certainly dont look like two innocent people whove just lost their daughter. On the contrary, they look more concerned for their own futures which right now, are at stake. Again, im no parent, but a discussion with my dad led me to believe that if your own child is killed one will be so overcome with grief (provided of course that one did not do it himself) that he/she wont be able to assimilate other goings on.

In the other case, one that only B grade movie plots are made of, two well educated, seemingly decent people went through hours of chopping up someones body into 300 pieces no less, in a bid that the body would not be found. I was trying to think of how these murders couldve gotten worse, and drew up a blank. They couldnt get more inhumane, more horrific than they already are.

Modern day lifestyles have led to shorter tempers, larger egos and more accesible weapons. Psychopath tendencies live in each one of us, its about dealing with it.

The world we are passing on to the next generation is just degrading day by day. we need something drastic to rekindle faith in humanity once again...Cause the way we're headed I see only Darkness.

Many Many hours ago..

It wasnt too long ago that this happened. Actually it was very long ago, hindsight tends to shrink time. Let her not start on her feelings for 'hindsight' and 'retrospect' :)

And he had to leave again. An abrupt end to her mini fairy tale. Which barely starts before the inevitable happens - 'Curtains' someone calls and thats that. Prince Charming leaves. Climbs onto his winged horse and speeds away, leaves an sms (i did mention a modern day story didnt i?) at a stopover reassuring her of his well being.

This however, does not suffice. She wants the whole enchillada. The entire story with the bling thing and the love shove and the mushy ending. Him leaving ought not to be an option. All in favor say aye! AYE AYE.

But what is a fairy tale without a teary farewell, a longing heart or suppressed passion? Had it been a smooth ride, an easy acquisition, and an uneventful journey, would she not have craved for some jitters? Man is a fool they say.. when its hot he wants it cool, when its cooled he wants it hot...all the way wanting, what is not.

This is her modern day fairy tale. A dimpled Prince Charming sweeps South Mumbai girl off'r her feet, only to disappear yonder far far away into the distant land, only to return for a few fleeting moments to remind his waiting (dare i say princess) lady of his determined love, give her a scent of his enchanting perfume, a whiff of a kiss, a breeze of a hug, and most importantly - a promise.

'Applause' says someone, as she narrates it to the world, for this sounds truly like an enchanting tale.
'A little less separation next time' says another...'Love must find some togetherness'
'Worry not', said she 'They will find love in togetherness' and thought secretly of the next visit, when two will become one, the two halves will be made whole, and not one, but two will ride away into what lies yonder...

Forever and ever, Amen

Now playing : Dancing on a ceiling (Lionel Richie)
Today i had an intensely happy moment. The kind that makes you feel soo happy inside, it made me well up and not have words to elaborate it here.

There are some songs, I realize, that hide away certain memories for you - that when u play them back, you can just magically disappear into that long forgotten moment for a while. Songs like Forever and Ever, I told you so ..Randy Travis, Lionel Richie etc are so reminiscent of my childhood.

Today i downloaded the songs mentioned above and rushed into my parents room and called Daddy into my room, and played one of his fav songs for him. It took him all of 5 seconds to realize what song it was, and this immense smile overtook all other expressions on his face.... it was this surprise old feeling for him. Those 2 minutes when we both were listening to the song, we both that strange, melancholic smiles - he too, was revisiting.

How do i even say it? 12 years ago, more actually...this same father daughter have heard these very songs played from a Hitachi 2 in 1 from cassettes that are long lost. Daddy would have a book with him, lying down with a beer on the table next to the bed, and I not to be outdone would be with my 'grown up' book of Enid Blyton etc, sleeping with my head on his stomach reading and listening to the music.

Daddy would smell of Brut, and have that typical defence hair cut and demeanour, well built arms and a staunch, principled stagger. Everything he did, I admired. The music he loved, I loved. I have many of his characteristics now, just like i hoped i would. Save for the dimple... the darn dimple i tired sooo hard to get. He's strong willed but soft hearted, aggressive but naive, principled and staunch, classy but homely, firm and steadfast in his beliefs and dreams and acheiving them.

In my teens i found myself growing more and more towards my mother and more and more away from daddy. My mom became my point of contact 'where are you, wat time are you coming home etc'. However Daddy came into the picture when an unknown boy called home. Let me just say this, for those who called back, Thank you. :)

Just before he left my room, he told me a few more songs he'd love if i 'get somewhere from the internet' ....quick kiss on my forehead and he went back to his room.

And just like that, for that brief moment I was Daddy's girl again.

Unbeatably beaten

With an INVINCIBLE name like the 'Mumbai Indians' i wonder how we are losing to EVERYONE we're playing with. I mean, really hats off to the genius who thought up that name.

Ah well, at least we're unbeaten at one thing - being beaten. In the last match against the Jaipur team who were (almost) in as bad a position as us I was hoping we could at least redeem that little shroud of self esteem we had. Of course, I was wrong.

The match however was fun. My family and I were laying bets on what our total score would be... I was of the opinion that we would be 100 all out which looked possible at the time. The score of 150+ exceeded my expectations fo sure.

Oh, another thing we ought to be proud (?) of... we got beaten by 10 WICKETS. 10 WHOLE WICKETS. It took only their openers (Gilchrist and VVS Laxman) to make our ENTIRE score. Did I mention in 11 overs? yeah, we got creamed.

If thats not enough, Mumbai is FULL of buses, hoarings, billboards etc with advertisements for the Mumbai Indians saying 'Jaao Mumbai, sabki bajao' (errr.... they ought to have explained to the team they meant SABKI bajao not SABSE BAJO).

Its a shame that Mumbai was the most expensive city that was bid upon, but has a team that looks more like its not even competing for the title and rather structured to give exposure to young under 19's. Like they're sending them for training or something.

Let me not even start on a certain overly aggresive bowler who cried like a fool on sunday. For all his zealous antics on the field while bowling, the sight of him holding his sleeve and sniffing like a little poodle has ruined it for me. I was actually getting fnd of the guy after the way he break danced on the Parachute Advansed ad.

So anyhoo, tonight its our turn to get creamed by the Kolkata Knight Riders. Jaao Mumbai Indians, Baj ke aao. (P.s this doesnt mean I'm not supporting them, im just wayy too disappointed to expect them to defeat the KKR's who right now, along with the Chennai Super kings look like THE team to beat)

Archiving

Just spent some time today going through my archives... this blog will complete a year in June. I started off as a wide eyed, confused blogger. This was my vent for that void in my life i couldnt talk about, or people wouldnt understand. That place and person who wouldnt judge me, and just let me be. Weird and silly and fun and confused and sentimental and excited, sarcastic and withdrawn, out there but not so, crazy and opinionated.

Post after Post I would come back to the same feeling of wanting to belong, of complexities, of that one love ill never get over, of that one love im IN, of people and places and tiny things that really matter to me. Of yearnings and cravings and dull aches and entwined wires and what not.

Off late, an increasing number of people i know have stumbled on my blog, and i grew more and more aware of it. Posts came few and far between, and topics grew vague. There were times i would think of something I would want to pen down here, rethink, and finally discard.

I miss it. Talking about random bygone feelings and unrequitted love and that one person who will always be a big part of my life without being in it. So this is it, im going back to the start. :)

Im too wired up and live with too many feelings and heartache inside me to really pretend it isnt there. At any point of time, there's ALWAYS some stuff going on, and im always dealing with it. (I know everybody does, but this is my blog!).

Disclaimer - this wont turn into a hormonal, eerily sentimental blog i promise. :)

Sun (Block???)

Have you ever read the back of any suncreen/sunblock bottle?

The one that speaks of SPF 60 and mattifying moisturising surefire foolproof 100% safe tested succesfully to block out 86% of the sunrays and prevent dark spots wrinkles tan and keep your face glowing your natural skin colour cos you should love the skin your in?

It doesnt work. Im almost merging into the shadows

Maldives Baby!

The view from the resort room.
Having walked down to the beach... 15 steps from the resort room and complete privacy. Thing is, Maldives is made up of close to 1,190 islands out of which about 200 are inhabited. Each island is actually a RESORT and freakshly expensive. Hnece the only people you wll find here are tourists and the resort management. NO locals, NO horrible men staring you down, nothing.


The coffee shop at Giravaru island where we stayed for a night. If your going to Maldives, and plan to stay at a resort, (if your not planning to go to a resort and stay, then dont go) be prepared to shell out anything between 500$ - 750$ per head per night. Laguna, Bandos
are among the few you ought to head to if you have that kind of a budget.

The View from the hotel room at Male - Hotel Relax Inn. The small island to the extreme right is actually an oil depot, and the tiny island next to it, is a jail!

Some little facts about Maldives -

• Male, is the smallest capital city in the world. It has a total length of about 7 kms and you can walk from one end to the other.
• It is a strictly Islamic country and all local women wear Muslim scarves on their head.
• You cant get a drop of alcohol on the island of Male due to strict Islamic policy. Many efforts by the men on the trip to 'do setting' led to nothing. How to beat this is to go to Hulhule, the airport island and hang out at the bar there. (Male doesnt serve alcohol but mostly all the islands in and around do)
• IT IS EXPENSIVE.
• Snorkeling and the Whale submarine are a MUST.

I am now close to 3 shades darker than i was when i left Mumbai, with no complaints. Being the water freak that i am, lets just say that the Indian ocean i saw on this trip has left me dizzy with its sheer beauty and wanting more. Anyone planning a trip there soon, ask me about the do's and dont's. Cos believe me there are quite a few.

Spot the Blogger!!

Cos she's gonna be somewhere in the MALDIVES!!!

Im tryinggg veryyy hard not to gloat. :)

Be back with tonnes of pictures, a tan and lots to say about the place.

Have a good work week y'all.

Title thinking in progress

There's a lot to be said about hospitality in Delhi. Having lived in Mumbai for the better part of my life now, i left Delhi and its mentality behind ages ago, got swept into the fast paced, nonchalance of Mumbai life.

The difference was stark, and it hit me hard. I was in Delhi the day holi was celebrated. From the previous day, my aunt and nearly everyone in the house was fervently cleaning the house (so the holi revelry doesnt dirty it?!) making holi food (Dahi Bhallas, Matthi, Gujjias, Shakkarpara etc). This went on for the entire day - i was made to eat dinner in my room since the entire surface area of the dining table (a 12 seater mind you) was covered with food!

Point being, so much trouble was being taken in order to serve the guests that would invariably drop by on Holi. I had my doubts, lookng at the quantity of food that was made. Wrong i was, as
early morning a flood of unidentified people were gathered in the living room. Neighbours, colleagues, friends everyone who knew my aunt and uncle looked like they were present.

I soon caught on to the festivities and reluctantly offered my face to the everyone who was waiting with baited breath. On Holi, a completely untouched, clean person is anyone's most desired bakra. People i did'nt know coloured my face and hair and wished me happy holi. What i enjoyed was the fact that everyone who i dint know, very gently rubbed colour into my face. It was a mix of 'your not supposed to be clean on holi, you ought to be pulverized with colour' and 'i dont know you, so ill be nice, lest you get offended'.

Of course, a seemingly innocent walk outside (to go to the Shiv temple outside) out of sheer naiviete led to a downfall, and i got smattered with more colour. Luckily it was mostly all dry since my refuge was my 6 month old niece who i was thankfully given the responsibility to handle.

Here is what it all leads to. Mumbai festivals. (Categorically speaking of myself here, as many of you might have family and hence celebrate festivals in a big way) I dont have ANY family (other than my folks and sibling) in Mumbai. Like 99% Mumbaikars, i live in a flat system and i dont remember entering any of my neighbours houses. Holi, Diwali and other festivals are subdued, usually small Puja's with four of us at home, followed by the traditonal food.

I have three neighbours - Catholic, Parsi, Parsi and Us. My building is predominantly Catholic/Parsi hence most festival celebrations are somewhat diluted. Although i would like to mention that my catholic neighbours children celebrate Diwali with equal zest.

I loved that people walked in and out of my aunts house in Delhi. I loved that if you dont go visiting your relatives and friends on holi and other festivals, they could be offended. I loved that the dining table was full of oily festival food and that my aunt spent the entire previous day lamenting about what she would do in case she fell short of food (HOW that would have happened considering the quantity of food made was beyond me). but thats Delhi for you. its the 'Beta tumne to kuch khaya hi nahi' (you havent eaten at all) after having eaten like a glutton or 'Yeh to short notice par itna hi kar pai' (in short notice, this is all i could manage) after having served you more food than you couldve eaten on an empty stomach.

I loved that people in Delhi dont necessarily have more time, but they make it. Family, friends, festivities take precendent over clients, deadlines or targets. That sense of longing i felt for that feeling of carefree frolic, of reckless joy, in a room surrounded by mostly strangers (to me) was something i dint know i missed living here.

But I do, and I hate that I know I do. And i hate that wishing doesnt make things better.

Chandi chowk mein chandni chamachh se ..something

Im currently in a place i lived in approximately 15 years ago. A place I moved to right after i was born. Delhi. There's SO much more to this post. soon... right now im tired from having -

• shopped at Chandni chowk
• eaten at Paratha gulli
• eaten Dahi Bhalla
• seen India gate
• having forgotten my bag in a store and having to make an hour long round trip to go back to the store and having a very nice uncle return it to me (after a mock quiz - what was in the bag, when did u leave it etc)

Tomorrow Connaught place, Nirulas, Lotus temple, Lal quilla possibly.

OOOHH I also travelled the Delhi metro. i pity us poor Mumbaikars travellng like a can of sardines in the heat and crowd of the local trains while Delhiites are way cooler than us in the Delhi metro - neat, clean, AIR CONDITONED, and extremely comfortable. but then thats another post.

Some strange things that have ALREADY happened to me

• my aunt asks me if i want to eat 'Bhallas' and i was stumped. seriously, Bhallas? and then she gives me this incredulous look -'dude u dont know what bhallas are?' they turned out to be what we know as Dahi wada's (only a nicer version).
• i asked for 'shakkar' and got asked a question - do u want 'chini' or 'shakkar' . again, stumped. cos according to me theyre the same! one is a powdered form of sugar and the other is cryatallized.

I really must go, tomorrow looks like a nice day. Unfortunately ive been craving some desi tandoori/kebabs type food and all the people i know are veg :( shucks!

F1 - 2008 is here finallyyyyy

'Its not because of a woman, its because of eleven men'
And to top it off, F1 season kicks off on March 16th, at Melbourne, Australia. Can the 2008 season possibly be as close-fought and competitive as last year? Will anyone step up to challenge Ferrari and McLaren at the front of the field?

Kimi the iceman Raikkonen,to you my support i pledge.

Top of mind

• Women's day is over-rated. There were 5-7 supplements in the paper just about women. None were a worthwhile read. If women crave equality, why do we need to shout out our little acheivements from rooftops? Apparently Croma electronics, had special womens day offers on printers, scanners, televisions and microwaves. How thoughtfull. Printers scanners and digital cameras are exactly what we crave, and so out of our reach.

• Vijay Sales has 'SPECIAL OFFER ONLY FOR TODAY, HCL LEAPTOP AT NEVER BEFORE PRICE' (err, last sunday hello!) [umimportant piece of information - I thought Leaptop was a typo until recently i saw a TVC for HCL where they say leaptop!]

• Kareena Kapoor is annoying me. shes EVERYWHERE. Someone mentioned she's designing clothes for the 'modern woman'. ok people, if your an actress/singer/dancer what qualifies you to be able to design clothes/jewellery/lingerie/perfumes etc. Given shes really worked at her body and deserves credit etc, but do i really need to know if she snubbed someone at a party?

• ITC is kickin' it! Cigarettes, biscuits, then clothes (Wills Lifestyle), High end perfumes/body lotions etc (Eseenza Di Wills),wafers (Bingo), then Shampoos (Fiama Di wills) and now recenltly soaps (Vivel di wills). Eahc brand launch supported by tremendous advertisements, celebrity endorsements etc. Wayyy to go!

• Gold has touched at all time high of nearly 13,000 rs for 10 gm. HOLY COW. Get with the program, everything's crashing, you should too.

Never drink beyond the Pint of no return

Saturday night. Henry Tham - veryyy hip club in South Mumbai, frequented by people whose occupation is generally described as 'socialite'. As in Ms. Blah Blah and then written in italics below, Socialite. So what does that qualify her to be? A fashionista? A newspaper column writer?
A social activist? I dont know why Queenie is writing an article in the paper. Ive read it all of once. And as if she wasnt enough, Sapna Bhavnani writes too! Why? cant she just get a blog and write aout her ex husbands and boyfriends and all that jazz on a blog? (disclaimer - no hard feelings about either women here)

Most of us dont even know what these women actually DO! Save for a few renowed names like Sheetal Mafatlal (of the Mafatlal controversy fame) etc, I dont know what say, for eg Queenie Dhodie does for a living. The obvious answer here is, Duh she doesnt have to DO any thing for a living, she just shouts 'money' and some of it falls magically into her lap. hehehe

So coming back to where I started. Henry Tham. The name of the place and the owner. his two sons - Keenan and Rishi (I think) Tham. WOW imagine having a place NAMED after you! With a name like mine, I can expect NO ONE to come. I can also forget about being a designer of any sort, unless i decided to see stuff in an assumed name, or a collection name or something.

Drifting again, I know. This is what comes from a LO-O-O-freaking-O-O-N-G day at work.

So, the point of this WHOLE post was this unbelievable drink i had that night. Since i cant recall the name of the drink, lets call it Whizz daddy. Here;s what i could taste Whisky+cinnamom+cardamom+cloves+brandy. Slightly warm. I-N-S-A-N-E is not even the word for it. The night ended with Bhurji Pav and Bun Maska outside the renowed (!!!!!) Churchgate station.

Another pointer - the bartender makes a MEAN mojito, and ALL the starters are brilliant. (disclaimer - only advised when completely loaded with cash and/or freakishly rich to care anyway). The better part of the evening was that I was treated. no birthday, no nothing. Just like that :) y-i-p-p-e-e.

All that post over nothing na? ;)

Errr... OK

Understood? Do not pluck flowers, plastics, or throw rabit in the sea.

This Baby is M-I-N-E!!!!

Intel® Core™2 Duo Processor T8100(2.10GHz), 200 GB HDD, 2GB SDRAM, 128 MB Dedicated Video Ram, 2.5 kgs weight, Intel® Wireless WiFi Link, DVD RW Combo, Graphics Accelerator
ATI Mobility Radeon™ X2300 .

These are the specs that i understand and which make a difference to me :)

This baby is sizzling Red, and currently the L-O-V-E of my life. Now all i need is to think of a name for her. Suggestions welcome.

Go Barca!!

Am i the only woman who thinks Xavi Hernandez is verrrryyyy NICE. (IF you-know-what-I-mean). All in favor say aye. lol.

While on the subject, two really insane Football games were watched by one. Saturday night MANU - Arsenal (4-0)(actually this was less of a game and more of a pulverisation). and today Barca vs Celtic. (3-2). While the former was dominated by MANU from the start (2-0 in 20 mins), and (3-0) by half time, todays game Barca vs Celtic was seriously thrilling to watch.

I got home in time to watch the re-run... When i turned on the TV it was 2-2, (Barca - Henry and Messi) Celtic (dont know the spellings of the two fellas lol). BUT WHAT A GAME! Although Barca dominated the game throughout (80-85% ball possession, 500 passes completed) the second half, it was still a delight to watch considering the BRILLIANT footwork by Ronaldinho, Messi, Henry, Deco (substitued in the second half, think 10 mins before time).

Touch and go touch and go seemed to be the strategy for Barcelona, no player retained the ball for too long, the passes were well manoeuvered and even better executed, Celtic did not stand a chance. Also, the Celtic uniform reminded me of a little boys sailor unniform in green stripes instead of blue :) They also have a player called Mc Donald btw! (why would u name your kid that?!)

Messi had another goal in the 79th minute, very very well done. Honorable mention to Thierry Henry who managed to cut past the Celtic defenders and reach clear to receive some beautiful cross'es delivered to him, but were well saved by the goalkeeper. (in usual style, he also tried getting some free kicks etc which didnt really work. i hate when he behaves like a whiny footballer, he did the same in the World cup as well %^&*$##%^)

Ronaldinho has had a good season so far, albeit injury ridden. 8 games 6 goals. he can do better...he too was substitued in the second half, but after some really fancy footwork and outstanding runing.

Truly worth my one hour I'd say.

Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

For those of you who dont know where this is from, KILL yourself. Ill give only one tiny hint. AWESOME movie, and Samuel L Jackson says it. Any guesses?

Happy birthday Jack!

A toast, to the one person who -
Bought me looney tunes band aids who KNOWS I stub my toes and walk into furniture as a routine
Is as patient as a cow
Is always there to fall back on, without me knowing it
Puts up with all my antics
Actually UNDERSTANDS the logic I put into things, and agrees with me.
Lets me rant ON and ON about some silly thing and listens
Lets me tell him the SAME story 3 times and still listens
Is clearly VERY good at listening
Wraps each gift separately
Knows I suck and wont send him anything and wont be mad about it
Understands how small things are big things for me, and pretends they’re as big
Hears me say something stupid, keeps silent for a minute and then bursts out laughing
Calls me Betty Cooper cos of allll the reasons
Encouraged me like HELL to grow my hair
Convinced me I could grow out of being a tomboy and to help started calling me ‘young lady’ in all greetings
Understands that I need MUCH MUCH more space of my own than normal people and just LETS ME BE!
Is actually wayyy nicer than me, but tells me otherwise
Asks me double negative questions on purpose cos he knows, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I cant answer ‘em.
Has named his (non existent) dog ‘Edward Longshanks’
Has 234576849 GB of questionable material on his hard drive and then acts sheepish about it.

I just realized im gonna run out of bullet points and still have tones to say, but for the meantime… Happy Birthday Jack. I hope you have a blast! The ONLY areas of improvement I see for you are -

STOP asking me double-negative questions
Send me more gifts he he
STOP naming non existent dogs. Else before I know it, your gonna pretend to take them out for walks and then it’ll just get freaky.
Be MORE excited for birthdays! This nonchalant ‘ah whats there’ attitude will get you nowhere!

Hair me out...

Sources (ME) have confirmed that Meg Ryan is OFFICIALLY one hollywood actor who has NEVER had ANY good hair days. Albeit, she is cute and has starred in some FANTASTIC movies.

However it wouldve been nice to see her looking slightly nicer, with hair that actually looked combed and pants that did'nt look two sizes bigger. Let me not start on a certain co-star in When Harry met Sally (but if i had to start, i dint know whose hair looked worse).

Given all her bad choices in moppy hair and floppy pants, i still like her. She has that naive, girl next door, 'i believe in Prince Charming' [pls notice the use of Caps denoting proper noun], 'there ought to be fireworks and lightning' kind of look. Her character in Sleepless in Seattle? A BIG part of me. In Pursuit of magic and fireworks and the 'SIGN'!

Another man whose hand i want to shake simply for being such a fine judge of good movies to star in - Tom Hanks. Id say just about Average looks, below average hair (and a totally receding hairline), but the man has starred in some of my favorite movies! Forrest Gump, Cast away, Sleepless in Seattle [which ahem, I watched yesterday which is why this Meg-Ryan-Tom-Hanks euphoria. Thank you HBO for caring for us dateless souls :) ], You got mail, and SOOOO many more.

While on the topic, a few more people i like and why :)

• Actor who played the most believable blind guy imitation - Al Pacino, Scent of a woman
• Most innocent looking Male actor - Chris O Donell
• Hottest Bald men - Vin Diesel and Colin Farrell
• Director with movies i KNOW ill love - Martin Scorcese
• Most versatile actor - (among many) Will Smith. the man acts and sings and dances and raps and does charity and is a loving doting husband and looks N-I-C-E and has that cute african-american accent

I have a LOT other categories, but they all somehow start with "Hottest..." Hence, this is the right time to terminate this blog post. :):) Any more nominations?

Standard disclaimer rules apply

As an afterthought, just wanted to add (in context of my blog post below)

• If your a woman, reading this AND getting mad at me, then you probably have some or all qualities ive spoken about, hence getting defensive and angry. I apologise for bringing your problems to the fore, but if you can take my advice, nothing like it :)
• If your a woman , and thinking 'Exactly!' or 'serendipity u hit the nail on the head' then, CONTACT ME!
• If your a man and getting mad at me, then join the gang. Im always pissing off people.
• If your a man and NOT getting mad at me, and want to marry me (thank you Aditya!), then again, join the gang. as you can see, women like this are highly desirable. and errr modest.

And oh, the usual. The post was not meant to hurt feelings of ANYBODY, had no connection with anyone living or dead, specially anyone in my life. For any feelings that were evoked whilst reading the post, kindly refer to the bullet points above. And, Happy Valentines day!!

One flew east, one flew west....

One flew over the cuckoos nest.
I wrote an entire blog post yesterday, which for some reason did not get saved, nor posted. I'm saddd. Anyhoo, moving on to what it was actually about. Women. Yes one of those. But, in a different flavor.

A hanging out session with a few (male) friends over the weekend just put a few things into perspective. Albeit, things i already knew and live my life by, and wished more women implemented in theirs. It could make life so much easier for poor men whom we keep cursing cos they're such easy targets.

1. First up, your not a victim always! so stop behaving like one. I HATE women who think they're poor little helpless darlings who've been heartbroken by a cruel callous guy. I'm sorry, im of the opinion that a guy will only treat you the way you LET him treat you, and if he's not treating you right, or taking you for granted then you probably have you lack of self esteem or assertion to blame. If your dating, your as responsible for the downfall of the relationship as he is, so if he's the bad guy, your a b***h too. Accept it, and DEAL WITH IT.
2. Secondly, if he's dumped you, MOVE ON. If he was interested in you, he wouldnt have dumped you in the first place. Pining for him and following him around with a sulky face will ONLY remind him of how he's glad he dumped you! My advice - find someone else! If you cant, gather your dignity, preserve and wait for the right guy. YOUR NOT GONNA DIE IF YOUR SINGLE.
3. Thirdly, when did a guy being in your life make things better? BEING SINGLE IS THERAPEUTIC!
4. Fourthly, dont take ALL your problems, add them up and then screw up everything cos 'poor me, my boyfriends acting up, work sucks, health sucks, i cut my toe yadayada'. Compartmentalise your problems! like ye- talk to the boyfriend, figure our things. put a bandaid on the toe, concentrate a little more at work and lesser on all the doom that (apparently) surrounds you and that should get better.
5. Dont let your hormones get in the way. Im guessing this point is a waste of a bullet point cos seriously. Women, not being hormonal? kabhi nahi :)
6. If you have a fight with him, dont mess up the day cos 'OMG you JUST cant concentrate' Seriously, being a woman, if i had to meet a guy whose ENTIRE day focussed around me, i would FLIP. Let alone poor men who can barely take care of themselves knowing a woman is busy not eating her lunch cos he's not called... is sure fire drive him away. Do you really want him to pity you? I'd kill myself if he guy i dated or ANYONE for that matter pitied me. Why would you want anyone to think your too weak to deal with something?
7. If you or your boyfriend want to talk/meet all the time, then you got a problem. While i think its nice as initial euphoria, there is a point in time where i would like him to have certain activities im not a part of . gymming maybe, or music, or a boys night out drinking, and I'd have a life of my own too. Learn not to OVERLAP each and every aspect of your lives!
8. Like there are women brokenhearted over that 'one love of their life' men have that one woman too, its just that they dont express it that much cos APPARENTLY its not very MACHO. However, certain conversations will reveal that men in fact, have that one woman they would do anything for, and would make them see the world in a new light. Its just that they dont harp about it like women do.

Men are not as bad as we women make them out to be, They're caring (sometimes) and sensible (sometimes) and have the most awesome shoulders to cry on (if reqd) and dont cry at the drop of a hat, so would (probably) make good decisions in crisis situations.

They're also extremely patient when it comes to dealing with us women and our Days :) Like they say, cant live with 'em, cant live without!

Think i was a man in my last life :)

Those things you believe in..

“You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.”

-Dr. Meredith Grey

That part of me

ThatIve been a person who people have teased about my ideas of falling in love and prince charming. Countless times ive heard people I care about tell me that I live in a bubble, and prince charming was for Cinderella. I dint care; I was in love with the idea of falling in love ever since I knew what it was. The idea of someone blowing on my coffee to make it cooler, holding my hand and maneuvering me through puddles, reading a book with my head on his lap, trading food cos his is nicer and many other little things I can write a thesis about, were things id go dreamy about and spend many afternoons thinking of and many pages in my diaries rhapsodizing

But yep, it's not been easy and sticking to this theory was hard, I nearly gave up a while back. I almost succumbed to the "it's all in the movies" bit. I loved someone for four years of my life, killed my dreams and burst my bubbles in my head before I knew if they'd take shape. But I loved it. Loving someone enough to not even want to have them was something id never done before and I hope I never have to do again.

I truly believe that when you love someone, the finality to that love is not "dating them" or "having them" sure it would be nice, but that's not the end point. At that time, I dint see that love going anywhere and much as I longed for it, I was ok knowing that we'd never be together. I think love should be "loved" within the realms of your mind and heart – both of which resonate to create that weak-feeling-in-stomach and stupid-grin-on-face syndromes.

That said, hearts have a funny way of healing – just when you think you've loved that love your meant to love and seen your heart break every day, someone comes along and carries that hug, that smile and a few extra bonuses like dimpled cheeks and what not J

People always say "oh god I cant believe I could like that person" or "I don't think I really loved that person after all" after everything's over. But I embrace it – I embrace the fact that I went through an exhilarating tumultuous excruciating love, and now I have a chance to do it again. This time around a little more happiness please! and I do believe that love doesn't happen just once, it happens every day, in the eyes of the mother who packs food every day, the eyes of the dad who basks in the glory of his children's success, the siblings who cover up for each other, the friend who comes over armed with chocolate when feeling down, the form of this one crazy magical person who seems to have magical healing fingertips and words.

I know the above love is "different" from the love we were talking about – but since when did love have definitions, boundaries, rationality or any semblance of logic whatsoever.

If love isn't irrational crazy and intoxicating, then what is?

Great Expectations

“No one believes their life is going to turn out just kind of ok. We all think we’re going to be great, and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met; but sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations; because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing still. The expected is just the beginning; the unexpected is what changes our lives.”

-Dr. Meredith Grey

Music ..makes the free world...

Song currently in head. As stated above. :)

Music therapy is the next big thing apparently. Dont know why its taken so long for someone to figure that one out... for me, its been a pick-me-upper since a while now. Actually, come to think of it there's a song in my head no matter what i do, or am. Not that this is a good thing, I remember being in exams with songs like "what is your style number what is mobile number" on repeat mode. (its funny ONLY in hindsight, believe me, trying to write an electrical circuits paper with this song in your head is like trying to solve the CAT pissed drunk).

Happy new year and all that

Ladies and Gentlemen, today i shall expound on the merits of long distance relationships.

• There are NONE.

Moving on, Happy new year and all. Before anyone assumes i was at a rocking bash in keeping with the seemingly party chick image, i was not. I spent a nice quiet new years with my family watching fireworks from my window and generally chilling out in life.

Why anyone would want to venture out on a night no different from the others, pay 4 times as much to eat and drink the SAME (ok, maybe in a little more quantity), put yourself at risk for being groped and eve teased by drunk men is beyond me.

Me? i prefer it quiet. Friends and family, terrace/beach/farmhouse/house, food and drink and lots of cheer. Thats my ideal new year.

Anyhoo, so this new years begun already and i have no option but to swipe in and get going. (Was still in Aug-sept mode, am being force entered into 2008). I wonder how this one will go... watch this space!

He's the one

Been thinking about it for a long time. The kind of man I've always wanted to end up with, the kind of man I've been saving up for... He's a combination of perfect and not so perfect, sweet but a little rough around the edges, caring but a bit reserved with himself, in love with me, but not enough that I know confidently he'd be miserable without me...

Some must have's - Stubble.. but just about, the trace of a manly scent, whiffs making me try to guess the brand, and forget for a moment where i am. A strong, assertive, elegant watch that just peeks out from below the cuff, one Ill notice during some casual gestures made whilst speaking. A dimple - one that plays hide and seek, one that ill keep mentally longing to see...

He's attractive, but he need'nt be conventionally handsome, im not one for convention. He's athletic and would cancel on a date with me cos he wouldnt want to miss gym. I would TOTALLY be ok with that. in fact secretly I'd be pleased. He's romantic, but just in the right amounts. Men tend to get totally besotted with a woman sometimes and act completely embarassingly kooky. He doesnt put up with too many of my erratic moods, just when he knows he needs to. Men who cant stand up for themselevs and go weak kneeed around the woman they love are completely unattractive.

He can walk into a room with just an arm on my waist and completely own me, with just that one hand placed assertively on the small of my back, everyone will know where my heart is, and whose his belongs to. He drinks single malt scotch and enjoys his drink, one sip at a time... not too little, not one too much. Getting drunk will make me look bad too, he knows.

He is a kid at heart, one that i can crack absolutely ridiculous jokes with and laugh for no real reason. I let go, i let go of that completely in control, self-preservatory me and let myself be me again...just for a moment let me try. It feels nice, to depend.

He likes my family and loves them like his own - my dad enjoys a drink with him. They feel it too - that aura of assurance, love and protectiveness he bestows on me.

He sounds just perfect. But he isnt... he's cranky sometimes and irrational, and a little too nice. But thats where I come in. Me with my sensible-all-rational approach to life. Ill compensate by having that conversation with him - the one about why we cant make all our decisions with our heart - the lessons Ive learnt the hard way.

And he cant iron clothes. he's good at dishes, but hes bad at ironing clothes. "Ill cook" he says. Ah well. Its endearing, the strange aversion to ironing clothes.

Hard to find such a guy i hear you say. I've heard that all my life. I live in a bubble, rose tinted glasses, cinderella stories dont exist, been there heard that.

I'll have the last laugh on this one, i hear myself say. This guys just gonna pop off a plane and be mine, simple as that.

Two dozen years

This will be one of those completely irrelevant, random posts that seem to be all i have lately. Over the last week i realized that Ive hit that point i thought (and hoped) i would never reach. That point when i stop being SUPER DUPER excited about my birthday. Seriously, i was one of those people you'd get embarrassed being around because id be brimming with a lot (lot lot lot) of excitement. But Ive been lucky, Ive had friends who've pampered me to no end, made my day crazy special, gone that extra mile....

Having said that, there was something missing this year. Every one's busy and in their grown up worlds. Birthday treats had to be scheduled and rescheduled and (one) was finally canned. What was once unthinkable (not coming to my birthday, wishing me, missing the 12 o clock birthday wish etc) is now completely acceptable. Really this is the same girl who spent 9 p.m the previous night onwards wondering how the next three hours will pass till the clock turns 12!

It was a fun birthday, i was at my cousins wedding, and hence not in town. Everyone wished me, the wedding was fun yadayada. Colleagues made my day by decorating my bay and getting me a really nice jacket id been wanting since ages. i wont go into what each person did else this will sound like a thank you speech!

If I'm sounding a little off-key, let me clarify that i am. Have no idea why...or maybe i don't want to acknowledge that im being all grown up about it cos i don't! i don't want to get all boring and "its OK you forgot my birthday" about it. I want to be crazy and hormonally neurotically angry if someone dare do so, and a superlatively excited crazy fool again. I don't want to get into the whole "lets not give each other gifts, its quite juvenile" bit, no!! i want to spend a few days before each one of my friends birthdays and figure out what i want to get them and the whole enchilada. Needless to say i want the same back! :)

I've always had one anchor, one focal point who takes my day, decides how it will be, fixes things so that they’re all in place, jazzes it up and makes sure I've had the best day of that yr on my birthday. As someone rightly said, Shit happens. That anchor is now missing, and Ive become this hard as nails, ready to fend for myself, can take on anything person. while it is a good thing, I miss feeling hurt over small things, caring about the minuscule things in life and being completely vulnerable to someone. It was a strange feeling - that vulnerability. That euphoria on seeing that person after ages, or that sinking feeling and consequent sadness over the smallest thing they might’ve said that would hurt, thinking how one situation can benefit both rather than myself... More than anything, its the feeling of being two people, not one.

This hard-ass, independent, career woman, logic over everything, no nonsense person is just not me. I miss that naivete, that little inability to handle some situations and hence depending on some one to be there, that aching nagging little hurt over wanting something so bad, that crazy childlike (note: NOT childish) trusting person that I used to be.

Toughening up is just not cool.

Guess the odd man out.

On a vacation to a small hill station near Mumbai, this was displayed in the restaurant (!!!). Needless to say i dint order any of the items listed on the board above!

The Psalm of life

Here is one of my favorite poems - The psalm of life, by H.W. Longfellow. (1807-1882) The fact that each paragraph is so applicable to each one of us, and the amount of rational and practical advice one can take with him from it, is something i love.

A PSALM OF LIFE
WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN SAID TO THE PSALMIST

TELL me not, in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream ! —

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

And things are not what they seem.

Life is real ! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal ;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

Is our destined end or way ;

But to act, that each to-morrow

Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,

And our hearts, though stout and brave,

Still, like muffled drums, are beating

Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,

In the bivouac of Life,

Be not like dumb, driven cattle !

Be a hero in the strife !

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant !

Let the dead Past bury its dead !

Act,— act in the living Present !

Heart within, and God o'erhead !

Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time ;

Footprints, that perhaps another,

Sailing o'er life's solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate ;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labor and to wait

I could write a summary of which lines i love most and why, (which i probably will later), but for now, tell me what u think!

Cloudy dreamy Aksa

Cloudy overcast skies, and the raging tide. In the next half an hour, where i was standing as i clicked this photograph was not visibe any more.

Of Cotton Candy Clouds

Ok ill admit, this is a low resolution picture. Was taken from a bus ride home, while the bus was in motion, simply because the clouds were spread across the sky like little cotton pods waiting to be picked! None of the giant mass-like clouds were visible that day, just these little cloud-lets. :)

Calvin Quote

" Calvin: I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: Whats misunderstood about you?
Calvin: No one thinks I'm a genius"

This one was asking to be shared!

When God made man, she was only kidding.

Being a woman sure is tough. For the (few) men that do actually read this blog, here's a fair warning. Serendipity is currently suffering from Monday morning blues (although its only sunday evening), and is under the mellowing effect of having watched the season 2 finale of Grey's Anatomy, with lingering thoughts of Dr. Mc. dreamy. In case you're still reading, don't blame me later.

How can one show have so many Mc. Yummies in one go! For anyone whose not watched it, Patrick Dempsey is Dr. Mc dreamy. and Mc. dreamy he is. it is shows and movies like this that make us poor women fall in love with the idea of love and prince charming and what not. and then life shows us the clear difference between reel life and real life. i won't launch into that one now :)

I heard some quotable person mention that most womens problems can be solved by a nice pair of shoes, or a nice bag. I would like to shake the hand of this genius, and i also attest to the statement. Shopping has many therapeutic properties so if you feel your girlfriend, or wife, or mom is acting (more) neurotic or (more) hormonal than normal, then take her shopping! That money spent will reap you great rewards my friend.

Here are a few things that need to be understood about women.

• There are times that we're feeling moody just because. (Its the estrogen i tell ya)
• The next few bullet points are dedicated to shoes. Because they are a very important part of our lives.
• Different shoes go with different clothes. that's why we NEED so many. for e.g. to help the (poor?) men who never seem to get the (simple) logic, stilettos (shoes with pointy pencil heels that y'all love) go beautifully with most things. hence every woman needs to own at least one pair. ( i mean two, one black and one any colour of her choice)
• Flats look terrible with formal black pants, but needed for everyday wear. Sneakers for running, Pumps/Strappy shoes for skirts and block heels for when you want to wear heels, but don;t want to wear stilettos.
• Of course you need different shoes with Indian wear.
• (Phew i hope that helped at least a little). coming back to other important aspects of our lives.
• No matter how many clothes we have, we'll always need more. (errr.. or want)
• YOU get manicures, pedicures, haircuts, waxes, threading, facials, bleaches, exfoliation dehydration, moisturization, detoxification and many other such (unnecessary evils) done to your body and tell us how you'd feel. Before some wise-ass leaves me a comment saying this is completely voluntary and not enforced it is due to some jerks that most women have complexes that make them feel not-so-beautiful which is why we resort to such external tactics (beautiful is more than skin deep and all) in the first place. If your girlfriend has a forehead that marks the confluence of her hairline and eyebrows and did nothing about it, please tell me you'd still dote on her. (yes. i believe u)
• We secretly love Mc. dreamy's so you ought to know what your up against. every woman wants a Prince Charming. and while your not expected to be your nicest best at all times. we would like some thoughful moments out of you, when you're not acting like a jerk, picking a fight with us or just acting completely clueless in life.
• If you want to buy us something, buy it. Dont ask. we'll say no but we mean yes. This does not apply to questions like "why don't u do the dishes tonight" etc.
• Understand that estrogen is an excrutiatingly difficult hormone to have so much of. Unlike testosterone, its makes you think of things other than sports, sex or food. It makes us cranky and horrid when its that time of the month, or not that time, it releases compulsive shopping disorders, random outbursts of joy or equally uncalled reasons for grief.
• Its well known that through all this neurotic, wiry behaviour we still manage to go to work, help out at home, be nice to people and put up with all their ridiculous behaviour, deal with all that (damn) estrogen and still manage to make it through our lives.

Disclaimer - Any characters and pronouns used in this post are purely fictional. No offence is mean to (most) people. So in case i do know you in real life, don't come pelt me. Its the Estrogen.

(Dis)connectivity

India has over 200 million subscribers to mobile telephony... and this number is fast growing. In a country where just a decade ago, STD/ISD calls had to be booked well in advance, words had to be shouted into the mouthpiece, and minutes counted by rupees, now making a call even to the U.S costs a meagre 3-5 rupees a minute.

Surprising then, that in the age of connectivity, we are in fact, Dis connected. Dis connected from each others feelings and emotions, disconnected from the joy of receiving a long distance call after ages... these things are just an everyday affair now. Oh there are so many things I'm trying to say here. I'm just a tad bit melancholy about how sms's have replaced phone calls, how emails have replaced hand written letters and hugs and kisses are replaced by brackets and symbols. I had pen pals, some old friends from school with whom i kept in touch via letters and cards regularly. What even i now regard as tedious was actually a time of the week i used to await - when i would open my (Often Archie stationary) letter pad and start with a "Hope this letter finds you in the best of health". Surprisingly, we are all on each others orkut/facebook etc but more out of touch than then. True that there are other attributes that factor in to drifting away, but coming back to what i said in the first place.. we are connected (Orkut is a social networking tool that blah blah..) and all that, but at the same time we aren't!

Sms, email, fast food, one min photos, super fast trains, Mum-London direct flights, are all efforts to condense time required for these mundane activities. But what do we do with this extra time? Living in Mumbai, we spend most of our time travelling or working, How many of us take the time to spend on ourselves? and family? I for one, catch up with most of my friends only over the weekend and i suspect that its the case with mostly everyone. Everyone thinks they're overworked and underpaid which might be the case, but the time that we have on our hands is ours to spend. so many people waste to much time doing nothing productive at work most of the day and then work late. and then complain about it! I say, get in, finish your shit and get out!

A look at the sheer number of bloggers since the advent of blogs shows the amount of people who log on just to vent, confess, ramble, rant, complain and just let their hearts out. I am obviously not referring to the arty/creative/real author/Picture blogs. There are so many anonymous users who log on just to talk about their feelings and have someone who'll leave them an understanding comment. They talk about family trouble, marital problems and Failures in love and Business. So much frustration pent up, so much angst to release....Why? Where's the shoulder to cry on, friend to reply on? People turn to anonymous identities on orkut/Facebook/HI5 and what not upcoming social networking tools which serves as a vent to the creepy crazy depressed maniac inside. Of course, im leaving out the regular people who are anonymous purely for the sake of the above kinds of people not lurking around in their profiles. Are there really so many creeps living amongst us?

Time and growing insensitivity is not my only complain. Gifting has lost so much of its meaning... Diwali gifts have begun pouring in at home... Vases, Candles, Bowls, Dinner sets. the same routine every year... get and pass on. Whats more important is not the gift per se, its the visiting card that accompanies it.

I love gifts. I love giving people things and I love getting gifts too. For me whats more important is seeing the person's expressions on opening the gift, its that sense of satisfaction which creates enthusiasm for gifting. Gifts needn't be big on money or value or size, they should just be big on love. For the last 3 years, I've been getting greeting cards from Prafful, a small pen or pocket diary or chocolate from my old buildings watchman who never forgets. They mean as much to me as the Azzaro perfume gifted to me by my best friend.

All in all, I hate that we all take so many things for granted around us, so many chances to make a phone call/hug someone/meet a friend we miss, so many things we think in our head we leave there due to circumstances/time/ or simply being lazy.

I would've thought that considering the number of mediums of communication that have opened up, we'd be more in touch.