Brownie loving, crazed shopoholic, hormonal, moody and incurably romantic in life, this is where you'll find random crap, more bitching and some old nostalgia ill try to pass off as advice! Read at your own risk!
Today I went to the 'Indian store' for a few of my groceries which I wont get at the regular Walmart, HEB etc. Things which are an indispensable part of of my life and without which I am somehow, hopelessly incomplete. Society tea the good ol cutting chai variety as opposed to the dip dip sorry excuse for tea this coutry has. Basmati rice, Daal and Rajma! and yes, I have somehow begun cooking. The cycle of domestication is now complete. This can also go on my 'smart intelligent can cook girl' resume.
As I walked down the aisle surrounded by brands and colours and names I knew I felt oddly happy. Like I stole a few moments in a kirana shop back home. Parachute oil, Amul butter, Frooti, Rasna!! They looked like glistening little items of gold. I treated myself to buying vermicelli (sewiyan) which I know (think) I will make kheer out of. It was strange, an experience of strange longing in the midst of a decrepit little store that sold groceries, of all things. I walked past the biscuits aisle and found Britannia rusk break, a routine with Ma and I and chai each day of the three month vacation I had before leaving India.
I did not anticipate the glee I felt in picking up that packet of rusk biscuits and going back to a memory of having chai with my mom - one I wouldnt think twice about ordinarily cause it was such a mundane thing to do. As I tried explained my ecstatic initial reaction to my puzzled friend, my emotions changed from happiness to a slow realization of the fact that a) Im not buying it so I can go home and have chai with mom and b) its gonna be a full year and a half before I see her again ...and I teared up. It was a hollow feeling of really really wishing I could just do that one thing I did every single day, just once more.
It got funny after that - obviously a boy thinks the best way to get a girl to stop crying is to ask silly questions and distract her and hence post a few 'what is amchul powder made of' and other junk, Nikhil decides its time we head out. Only, when Im paying and stack the rusk on the counter it triggers off another 'Im not done feeling upset over this' reaction from me and a few tears make another appearance, to which poor frazzled Nikhil literally asks me if I want him to HIDE the packets! That obviously was more than enough to get me to crack up.
Its hard, living away. Im ordinarily so busy I dont have time to miss anyone much, heck I barely have time to sleep. But its when these little things remind you of where you came from and who you belong to that its time you take some time off and just dwell. I'm so absorbed in my new life all of a sudden, I dint have a weaning off period between home and now. Its perfectly ok to feel upset, and Im gonna spend some time just feeling what im feeling. Imsortof enjoying missing home and family and friends and Mumbai and reliving my favorite moments in this status.
I feel as though I dont write as much as I should. Thank MBA for giving me barely enough time to shower each day and thats probably all the time I get to myself each day! So where am I writing from now? A coffee shop at Seattle, doing the American thing - sitting with my laptop and a Java chocolate chip frappacino catching up with emails and blogging. Although I must do my readings for class. :-/
Ive been trying to get myself to leave this coffee shop since the past hour, but the music, just wont let me. Its a beautiful medley of the blues and some french music and its got me hooked. A window seat and perfectness. Its been 3 months since Ive been alone, literally. and thats cos im in a new city where I knew only the 30 people I came with most of whom have left now. MBA Means im perpetually with people, my study group my roomate or other people I need to be around;. This is the first time Im by myself in a place where I can just marinate in my own thoughts and 'do my thing'
The last three days have been a whirlwind of meeting 6 companies, none of which hire me cos im an International student but this experience was intense. It was worth my time and money just coming down here for so many reasons - I got to know some of my classmates better. I was sharing a room with 3 other girls - all americans and they were lovely. There's a reason id tell new students heading abroad not to just hang with Desis, cause thats the easy thing to do, but getting to know different people is just such a stimulating experience! Our hotel is downtown so It was phenomenal - walking out the street meant looking at seriously stylish people wearing their winter wardrobe and an occasional woman in something so tiny that it makes me wonder how shes doing it! (perspective - I have on 5 layers of clothes right now). Visiting companies gave me a good feel of the American work culture and a sense of what it would be like working here. I got the impression that it isnt as structured as it is back home - team of 3-4 working for a boss who has a boss who has a boss and hence your ass is always covered cause of the hierarchy - here its more like you are your own boss and u dont hve a team to necessarily get things done but you have to figure out a way to do them anyway. Im not sure if ill love it or hate it, but ill give it a try!
I am so loving this music in this coffee shop, Its been over an hour and a half and I dint even realize it. Im gonna walk over to the Space needle now, pictures later!