Parenthood is not for kids

Alfie Patten, Age 13. With his BABY.

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These are Images of Alfie Patten, Father to a young baby Maisie, conceived when he was 12 with his 15 year old Girlfriend.

This could easily be the pictures of a boy with his newborn sibling. But unfortunately it isn't so. In an incident that's sparked worldwide outrage, this UK based couple decided to have their baby (and were happier for it) a month ago. If that isn't enough for my conservative (Indian?) mindset, two more boys age 14 and 16 respectively have laid claim to the baby, stating that they could very well be the fathers. A DNA test is now being conducted on the three, to determine which child is in fact, the father of the baby.

Alfies father - Dennis (45) split from his wife after an affair with a 19 year old, and is reportedly the one who has advised Alfie to have a DNA test since "That's the only way to settle this".

Facts stated. Now. Such a horrific incident just brings to light the shambles that parenthood in some foreign countries is. This, in retrospect makes the Indian conservative married society and mindset seem like a blessing. The boy looks 8. E-I-G-H-T. I remember my own brother at 13, which was just 2 years ago. This is not even an age that s*xual organs are fully developed, let along the mental daring to go the whole way. Where has the innocence gone? For crying out loud, when asked how he will support his baby Alfie said he gets 'Pocket Money' of 10 pounds sometimes. It just gets worse and worse with speculations that Chantelle was having s*xual relationships with close to 8 boys at the time of conception. The mother however, trashes allegations asserting that her daughter lost her virginity to Alfie.

At 15, in my opinion even SHE is not ready to be s*xually active. For sounding like one old prude, I don't apologise. I see this incident as horrific, and disturbing. Alfies father has 8 siblings and seems to be supportive of this incident, in fact making money of it. Alfie is being paid 5 figure sums for interviews and the parents are caught in legal battle over who will get how much money.

Deemed to be a dampener on Britain's expensive s*x education theory, this just brings to light that kids today are far too exposed, blame it on the media, parents themselves, society as a whole or even the gradual breakdown of the wholesome family model. Its when you watch a popular show like Boogiewoogie and see a 5 year old gyrate (albeit very gracefully) to the likes of 'Kaanta lagaa' or other s*xually explicit popular songs number, that you know that cinema and media infuse s*xuality and vulgarity in the minds of our very young generation.

As i write this, a colleague comes to me with todays edition of the mid day with another scandal reminiscent of the Delhi school scandal with the 9th std school girl. India isn't far from all these scandals, I think we're just a little more discreet. we wouldn't proudly let our 13 year old son be photographed proudly with his son, we'd be hiding in shame and preparing to send him to boarding school or somewhere far away, whilst denying any rumours that allege the same. wont we?

I'm so shaken up right now, that I think I'm just going to hit 'Publish' and come back later with a little more focused, coherent vent.

Death of an Innocent

Commonplace happenings these. Have been battling early morning rage on reading one devastating story after another whilst the breakfast tea routine. This has now given way to simply skimming through pointless tabloid-ish papers The Bombay Times and Mumbai Mirror, and then coming home and reading the paper.

Parents killing children, fathers fathering children with their daughters, siblings killing each other, incestous relationships, murders driven by fits of blinding anger and raving jealousy are an everyday piece of news. Not only that, the murders/acts themselves seem to have taken on more and more grotesque proportions since the recent past.

The recent case of the two murders currently in the limelight - the murder of a child Aarushi Talwar and manservant, and the other murder of Neeraj Grover. In the first case, not only is it appalling that a child was murdered, (that too in all probabilities by her father), but pains were taken to hide the manservants body in the neighbouring terrace to hide evidence.

I probably dont have all the facts with me, but somehow Rajesh Talwar and his wife certainly dont look like two innocent people whove just lost their daughter. On the contrary, they look more concerned for their own futures which right now, are at stake. Again, im no parent, but a discussion with my dad led me to believe that if your own child is killed one will be so overcome with grief (provided of course that one did not do it himself) that he/she wont be able to assimilate other goings on.

In the other case, one that only B grade movie plots are made of, two well educated, seemingly decent people went through hours of chopping up someones body into 300 pieces no less, in a bid that the body would not be found. I was trying to think of how these murders couldve gotten worse, and drew up a blank. They couldnt get more inhumane, more horrific than they already are.

Modern day lifestyles have led to shorter tempers, larger egos and more accesible weapons. Psychopath tendencies live in each one of us, its about dealing with it.

The world we are passing on to the next generation is just degrading day by day. we need something drastic to rekindle faith in humanity once again...Cause the way we're headed I see only Darkness.

Sunday Times

Bobby Jindal. (our very own?) Governor of Louisana. He's been in the news all this week since he's been recently elected to the post i just mentioned. People in his village in India celebrated by distributing sweets and dancing in front of the tv screens. Let alone the fact that he's never visited India (and hasnt announced any plans of), the fact that he is Indian-American is enough for India to claim the honour and hail the new governor of an American state, no less.

Never mind that Bobby as he is known, spurned his Indian name (Piyush) at age 5, insisted on being called Bobby after a character in the hit (American) tv show "The Bradys bunch". He converted to Christianity at age 15, whilst giving up Hinduism (which he also made his wife give up). Husband and wife are now devout Christians, visiting the church every Sunday making the picture perfect American family, fit to occupy the governors chair. Did i also say that he mis-pronounced his brothers Indian name during a speech he made recently.

Why exactly are we hailing him then? No doubt he is the youngest man to have been elected tot his post, by a wide margin no less. Lets applaud him for that. And not cause he's Indian-American, because that's not what his victory is about, that's what we are making it out to be. Lets not cheer him for being the first "Indian-American" to be elected governor. Its more that obvious which half of the hyphen of Indian-american he falls on. So many people having Indian origins spurn their motherland, accrediting the places they've grown up in for their victories and accolades, which is only fair.

Another example is Sanjaya Malakar who captured everyone's hearts (and votes) during the recent American Idol. He is Indian- American too. During a post-idol interview he credited his Italian Grand father for his talent. while Indian tv and American media went berserk claiming a toothy gypsy haired Indian-American was taking over American hearts.

Geethali Norah Jones Shankar dropped her first and last names. yet we hail her and feel a sense of connection since shes our very own half Indian daughter. I can just see her making that effort to keep that half alive. Yep.

What im most annoyed about is how Indian media and people claim party to credit for someone whose never lived here, does not acknowledge his/her roots to India. why do we need to glorify individuals who have left India 30-40 years ago and perhaps never even lived here? What sort of contribution do we have to their success as Indians?

The need to glorify India and make evident her footprints in every field, every aspect of the world be it business, glamour, science, talent, research... is long gone. India has arrived on the global map since a long time... its time we revel a little.

On a completely separate note, Hoorah for Kimi!! Im been a BIG fan ever since. although Lewis has a new fan in me, although he is in a rival team. Ferrari proved that in the end, team-spirit prevailed over cut-throat competiton between two drivers of the same team.

Frugality?

Off late ive been watching some really ridiculous news stories that have infuriated me to no end. For instance, 2 days ago there was a huge debate on whether the President of India should be awarded with a salary hike of 100 %. (His current salary is Rs. 50,000 p.m). Now this may sound like a trivial salary which the PRESIDENT should be earning, it sounded that way to me too ntil I heard the following statistics - Rs. 2 cr on maintenance of presidential gardens. Rs 4 cr. on salaries of the 600 employees of the house. Rs. 64 lakhs on Presidents medical expenses, Rs 4 Cr.on maintaining his vacation homes, Rs 6 Cr (or thereabout) on maintaining the present house and a host of other expenses that I cannot seem to remember. After the end of this list, I wonder exactly what expenses the president incurs. Shouldn’t all this be counted for in his lump salary as perks?

Just a week before this debate, was a press release made by the President of India which I won’t delve into detail, but the crux of it was that Indians working in the private sector should be paid lesser and should lead a frugal life – the discrepancy in economic proportions between various strata of Indian society apparently leads to social unrest. While I don’t disagree with this, I have to ask myself how the numbers stated above spent on one man alone is frugality? If I were Mr. President, as the first citizen of India, I would first cut down on all unnecessary money spent on my gardens and vacation homes, and spent them on schools, hospitals, free food schemes, improvising the law and order etc- it is the confluence of these factors that in my opinion, lead to social unrest.

Another news item – Ms. Mayawati (CM –UP) has amassed assets worth Rs. 50 Crore in the last 3 years alone. That would mean a spurt of nearly 300% in her assets in the last 3 years alone – of which 34 lakhs has been declared as jewellery. Bear in mind that if this is the figure that has been disclosed, the actual figure must be give or take another 5-10 crores. I mean how does someone who apparently earns lesser than the president even have so much income? Which is the flyover that dint get built, or the houses for the poor which were actually sold to greedy businessmen or relief program that got only half the amount of funds than were allocated.

The world misjudges us, India is not a poor country – I think we have richness in abundance. Its when and only when ALL the money and resources get percolated down to the grass root level when we will achieve development. Sadly so, I don’t see that day anywhere close.