Bagging for more!

The Louis Vuitton Mahina XXL 4,210.$
Louis Vuitton Mahina XL 3,360$

*shudders at the thought of converting the costs above into Indian Rupees*

Me : Mr Banker Man, I need a loan.

Banker Man : Sure Ma'am, let me take a look at your financial assets.

(After a few hmm's and critical glances)

Banker Man : This looks all right, Now what kind of loan do you need? Home, Car?

Me : (sheepishly) err, I need to buy a bag.

Banker Man: (sound of pistol going off)

Unusually reminiscent of my childhood I am. A few conversations with an Uncle (Dads course mate - Batch of 1978) from the Navy and his wife have sent me down memory lane. And what wonderful memories to be reminded of!

I had the bestest upbringing. The Navy way. Of saying 'Good Morning and Good Evening' instead of 'Hi Uncle', of waiting for the Kraft cheese and Sausage tins from the monthly ration, of cycling down to IMSC (Integrated mess and sports complex) each morning at 6, only to be back home at noon after a morning of Badminton and swimming and piano lessons!

Of using short forms like NOFRA (Naval Officers Flats and Residential Area) to USC (United services club) and SNOFS (Senior Naval Officers flats) and attending functions like Beating the Retreat at Gateway where the country's best Band plays (The Naval Band), and Navy Ball where the sweaty stinky boys you usually play b'ball and badminton look like handsome young men in tuxedos and blazers and ties and girls are as pretty as can be. It was also when i was asked by a 'boy' for my first dance. Albeit in front of my folks and flustered as i was, i managed a meek 'but I'm leaving with my parents'. Never mind that I had played out a scene of a handsome young man asking me for a dance and Suave sophisticated lil me will gracefully offer him my hand with a flirty swish of my hair, and the delicate whiff of my perfume will just graze his nose...lol. But still given a 15 year old girl i did pretty well with the 'err i gotta go thanks for asking'

Its of Navy buses and Route no 5 which was mine, where the driver knew my dad and the liftmen knew my dad and the watchmen and the sailors and everyone knew my dad. Everyone respected my dad. In the Navy, every ones known for his work and his designation--- and he earns it in respect. That's a big difference in that life and this. In this life, you are what you are by where you buy a flat and which car you drive. In that life, you are what you are by what you do and how you command respect. Till date we have sailors and juniors and seniors who still respect him the same way. Its that lifetime of honour and awe and dedication that others displayed then, and display now that my dad will keep harvesting. . Its like Pension, with no money... but so much more.

Its of living in the best part of Mumbai, where each tree is painted red and white near the roots and has a count, where each building would get painted nearly each year right before Navy Week. Its about celebrating Navy day with your birthday, and feeling like all the ships are celebrating too. Its about first being Commander so and so's daughter and then being yourself, which I love.
Its just percolating some of that awe down to yourself.

Some people refer to me as 'Commander' jokingly, little knowing that to append that title to a persons name he spends close to 20 years of his life dedicated to the line of duty, with family and self coming second to loyalty to his job and integrity to the country. I would tell them I don't like it one bit, that they have no right to call me that simply because I don't deserve it, and neither does the title to be used in that light, but they wont understand... You need to feel it, or you wont get it.

Its in the uniforms, from the white sparkling shoes to the cap and the brass baton which was a weekly chore assigned to me. To be polished to a mirror shine with brass-o and a rag each Sunday morning. After which I must proceed with bucket of water and another rag to Maruti 800 (1988 model) and Bajaj scooter and my very own bicycle for their weekly wash. The best part of this was being seen walking to the garage and uncles and aunty's looking at me in admiration and passing on praise to my folks. Of course I rubbed it in and scrubbed extra hard when the car was parked outside the garage when people could actually see. and extra extra hard when a certain crush would be standing at his window looking out. (Darn the standard checked shorts teamed with a white t shirt. if i had my way, i would've had on my nice new wrap around skirt =) )

Its in the simplicity, and deep rooted integrity, firm handshake, punctuality, respect for others and family, in the doing things yourself and taking pride in it, small rewards, in knowing you have to move every 3 years and still loving it, fierce loyalty and steadfast dedication to duty. Its in all these wonderful things that today's generations live their lives without...

My uncle was (rightly) of the view that today's generation is a spoilt lot. This is of course generally speaking and there are a lot of exceptions to the rule. Today's generation is brought up in a world of cut throat competition, survival of the fittest and an intrinsic hunger to grow more and more successful i.e. earn more money. This of course could branch out into another topic altogether.

My brother, 9 years my junior is currently spending his formative years in a So-Bo neighbourhood where kids as old as 7 bring their own i-pods down to play. Never mind value for money. I regret him not having the life i did. The opportunities I enjoyed, the sports i played and the view I had from my balcony. the saving grace is he wants to join the armed forces.
Fingers crossed.

I got this in my mail today. Jai Maharashtra it says.

1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school
2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi
3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi
4. No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay. Only Marathi.
5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men
6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals
7. Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas)
8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only
9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra?
10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community..
11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra, why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world
12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi
13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states
14. We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside
15. We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari
16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra, then they will become true Marathi’s

And they Say Jai Maharashtra. I cannot start to say how ashamed I am of Mr. Raj Thakrey, of our politicaians all of whom are scared stiff of this man, our Coutry who has no rights to talk of development when we educated inviduals hold innocent public to ransom like this.

I am truly ashamed. To my Non Maharashrian friends who are bearing the brunt of this, I apologise.

Home sweet Home?

I was at Bhandhardara this weekend. Its a quaint little hill station nestled among the Sahyadri Hills about 185 kms from Mumbai, 35 kms off the Nashik-Mumbai Highway.

I fell in love with this place the minute the car took a turn off the Nashik highway! The lush green farms on either sides of the narrow road your driving on, the green topped hills (which we're not used to seeing anymore) and small herds of cattle herded by a typical farmer-cowboy with the traditional blanket on his shoulder to ward off bees is a pretty sight.

The Locals in Ghoti village (which you need to pass to get there) all wear traditional Maharashtrial dhoti-kurta and Nehru cap. Women are dressed in Lugdas (a variation of sarees) and it was most enchanting to see this traditionalism prevalent just about 4 hours away from the commercial hob-nob that is Mumbai where traditions and customs have all but taken a back seat.

The view from the MTDC resort is breathtaking, the photo below was taken just a short 10 min climb down the hill from my room. The fact that there are only two paces to stay here - MTDC and Anandvan resort has ensured that this place remains non- commercial, non-tourist attraction crazy and clean.
The MTDC resort rooms are your basic functional rooms, with no frills. But at Rs. 1000 a night (deluxe) what more can you expect. The rooms that we stayed at have been recently renovated by the Mah Govt, hence we had to pay Luxury tax (!!) on the cost!

The food was really homely, if you ordered right. we ordered baingan bharta (eggplant) and dal (pulses) and pitla (a besan preparation famous in Maharashtra) and Bhakri (roti made from Jowar) and thoroughly enjoyed.

Course there was a group of people on the adjacent table experimenting with Chinese (why they were doing that is beyond me). Its like ordering a Pizza at Kamat!

After sweltering in the Mumbai heat, feeling a chill in the air in the evening and wanting to cuddle under a blanket at night felt like a welcome change.

I'm pretty much at a loss for words to describe how beautiful this place was, which has resulted in a mediocre post trying to elaborate.

Why someone would want to pay anywhere between 45-75,000 a sq foot to live in THIS (see pic below) is beyond me.

" ...When you buy furniture, you tell yourself: that's it, that's the last sofa I'm gonna need. No matter what else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was so close to being complete. "

- Fight Club.

And one more..

You now know where to look when you want to buy some 'Species'. Worry not, they have all kinds. :)

We're easy to ge along with ... once men just learn to worship us :)

The problem about most blog posts is - how do I start?! The general content of the post is known since it would be about a recent conversation, the weekend revelry or the likes. lol.

Offlate, for some reason, Ive landed up having the unanswerable question type conversation - 'What do woman want?!'. A lot of perplexed (male) friends are at their wits end since they've tried every trick in the book - been every kind of guy. Mr Naughty but nice, Mr Sweet but not so sweet, Mr sickly goodygoody, Mr never-fallin-love playerboy, Mr calculated moves, Mr commitment phobic, Mr lets-get-married, Mr anyone-will-do, Mr Ill-be-nice-to-get-into-your-pants, Mr Im-confused-about-my-feelings, ETC. You get my drift, Im sure.

So what do we want anyway? Half the world seems to be obsessed with the question. Its not that difficult, really.

First of all, its not a game, women are not dolls and if she likes you, its not checkmate, or a homerun. Women dont want guys who are 'playing' them, and calculating every move. Who we're more likely to fall in love with are men who simply fall head over heels with us, with no logic and reasoning whatsoever. This isnt something you can practice - so dont try.

Its in the little things - blowing on coffee and making it cooler, a flirtatious little smile or wink here and there, having that look in your eye, remembering what we like to eat, our favorite colour, insisting on paying sometimes... Since im not going in order of importance, one critical piece of information - Each woman wants to feel sexy, and beautiful to someone. No matter if shes ugly, short, fat, pimpled, too tall, too fair, she wants to feel pretty. Women of all ages, take a look in the mirror before they leave, powder their nose, put on that little makeup, wait in anticipation for that one tiny compliment from that special someone... its one of those things. Of course, not to mistake this by thinking 'All women dress up for men', because they DONT. The ones that have a boyfriend, husband, etc (err) DO (secretly or not). Then there are ones that wont admit it. But in the end, if shes looking pretty, TELL her! Men simply go wrong in calculating too much - every move, every sms.

A certain vulnerablity in unplanned feelings is endearing. Most of them also wait for the woman of their dreams, and often the one theyll never get over to move on to another guy before they realize ' shit i love her'.

We like the man BEING the man - insist on footing the bill sometimes (3 out of 5 would be a good ratio), buy an occasional flower, be well turned out and snappy when taking us out to dinner. Women LOVE men who take care of their physique, and pay a little extra attention to detail like - smelling great, wearing good footwear, neatly ironed clothes (I know this sounds like a lot to ask for from MOST men) But there are certain exceptions :) and im sure at least one reading this knows who he is.

More than what an average joe can accomplish has been put down here, so lets try slowly, one at a time. And then maybe we women can live happily ever after.

What I'm doing awake at this hour besides getting magnificent download speeds, and a stiff back is beyond me. Although I suspect it has a little something to do with having spent nearly half the day in medicine induced stupor. Common cold, it seems needs a combination of a 3-3-4 dose of the blue-yellow-blue-multicoloured tablets.

MANY Self prolonged random unnecessary falling-sick events have led me to visit a doctor within the first 2 days of feeling sick. This fares wonderfully in comparison to NOT visiting a doctor unless COMPLETELY miserable and then finally having to deal with antibiotics and scoldings by the new-enthused-i-was-so-right-you-shouldve-gone-to-the doc mother. (err, love u mom).

If you watched the news today, you've probably heard about the serial blasts in Tripura. Im beginning to wonder if theres a pattern here - twice a week, north-east-west-north or maybe bike-train-cycle-bike... Its just become a routine news bulletin -'Breaking news - 17 llive bombs found at xyz' or 'Breaking news - 5 low intensity bombs in xyz'. What is the Government doing about it? What is the media doing about it? What are WE doing about it?

Im sure even reporters have templated stories ready - just fill in the blank type documents.

" Bomb Blast in ___ kills___ and injures___. Bomb was found in tiffin/cycle/bike and left by two scarf/helmet/unidentified motorists. This happened in the heavily crowded area of____ at peak ___ hrs. Police are yet to identify who would be responsible for the blasts, and have so far arrested ___suspects. "

Has it really become that simple to disrupt public peace and instill fear, ACTUAL fear among us that the mention of the word 'bomb' and 5000 people got evacuated from BKC in Mumbai today, or that 150 people died of a stampede after the crowd ran amock hearing the dreaded word. Really, do we need Mr Raj T'rey to be spreading panic among Mumabikars? we seem to be doing a darn good job ourselves.

Its a matter of Public shame that our country is subject to these acts of terror, that the police continue to be clueless about how to tackle it, about how police forces and governments of various states do no work in synch towards the common cause of eliminating terror from the country. POTA is outdated - but who cares right?

As if quality of life - increased exposure to passive smoking, polluted envoirnment, stress related ailments and unhealthy lifestyles werent enough to reduce our life-span, we now need to worry about not accidentally picking up an unknown object on the road, (tiffin boxes emerging as the most threatening, who wouldve thought) or being in market places prone to bomb blasts, or tavel in trains at office hours, or being in a line at a religious site. This list shall be updated as when necessary.

The safest option emerges - staying home. If your living in Mumbai - you might want to reconsider - some buildings have a tendency to just fall apart.

Live and Let live anyone?

Happiness for free, anyone?

These pictures are taken en route my jogging track.. about a stones throw away from my house. Let me put things in perspective...this small area these kids are playing is reclaimed land, which used to be mangroves, to be redeveloped for a club house. There is a small fencing segregating the area these kids can play in from the jogging track-semi playground.

A look at the kids from elite South Mumbai families fortunate enough to be playing in the playground ... all of them would, needless to say be dressed in the best of clothes, most wearing the new fad among kids - crocs for footwear. (crocs cost no less than 800-1500 rs even in the kids range). All kids have their aayah's (maids) accompanying, and less than 3 feet away from them, monitoring their every move, fervently wiping dirty hands, cushioning a fall and other such activities within then realm of 'taking care of the child'. Each child has his or her own sand basket, skipping rope or some other fancy toy, swinging on dinosaur swings or the T-Rex slides... with neat little matching clips in hair, disney water bottles in short, each thing they own is monogrammed, branded or some form of exclusive.

The pictures of the kids above is from the slum nearby, who have made the Ganesh idol from mud, and worship it everyday with the accompanying music (provided by beating wooden sticks on stones and chants), dance around the idol. Been watching them since a few days, finally curiosity overcame and i hopped over and had a look at the Ganesh. The picture does not do justice to what these children have made. There are tiny flowers, buttons and other scrap adorning him... he's never left alone, always guarded by at least one child.

I am fascinated with street children. It takes sheer ingenuity, or possibly forceful circumstances to spend an hour playing with a broken rubber tyre or a few sticks and stones and be that engrossed, and happy.... I told these kids Id come give them printouts of the pictures upon which i was asked 'Aunty aap bhoologi nahi na?' (Aunty u wont forget right?), of course i cringed at the word 'Aunty' :) but whats there, my phone was tossed around 15 hands looking curiously at their pictures in it. These kids who on an average mustve been about years made for a truly Happy smile on my face.

When i first asked if i could take a pictue, they were a little skeptical... after all how many of us 'rich people' really bother to take notice and even spend a minute asking them their names, let alone taking pictures. Initial cynicism once surpassed, they were more than happy to pile into a photo and give me bigg grins.

It saddens me... these children are exposed to the other children in the park.. with their expensive clothes and fancy waterbottles and playing on colourful swing sets. How do you tell a four - five year old child that those swings are out of bounds? Your not allowed to swing because u live in the slum? would he even understand what rich and poor is?

Having said that, these children are content with their rubber typre hung off a tree. I didnt see a Single face looking at the park with the other children wishing he or she could be there, and for that Im glad.

I am what I am. And what I am, is careless.

After years of walking repeatedly into furniture, doors, tripping on flat surfaces, losing and misplacing things, having various other atrocities happen to hands and feet, I have come to the (un)happy conclusion that I am careless. This after a whole lot of denial and 'that was a phase', 'that was an accident', 'this wasnt my fault' and so on.

I (think) I have lost my swipe card today. (the access card for work). This comes close on the heels of me having lost my debit card 3 weeks ago. It was my good fortune that the person who found it was either an honest person who did not use it, or a foolish person who did not know how to use it. What worried me was the realization of the lost card came a whole 3-4 days after the last time I used it. (Of course, there was a reason - there always is. New wallet, money section separate from card section, cant see cards each ime i open hence didnt notice it).

That said, I got a lot of flak from people at work over my carelessness, some of which I deserved. I prided myself over being a fairly responsible person (when it comes to important things), but this is just questioning my belief . Major upheaval of one self is in order no?

One of my most famous moves is tripping on flat land. Its a patent. There is also a testimonial on orkut imploring to enrich the quality of my life by at least making an effort to tryyy not to walk into things, or have them run into me. :) But, then I was sent only like this. Defective, prone to mishaps, careless, restless blush monster.

Still still still, I cant go around losing my debit cards and swipe cards and other such important cards around like its part of my natural disposition to do so. (it is, btw). But this is a vow. a very solemn one that Im going to give this responsible, organised, documented person bit a very good shot. And this starts now. Cause one of my other great strengths is procastination. But that's another story :)

Rahoge fit, fit and fine!

Delhi - Nehru Place

A matter of Conscience

Last night as I walked out of Yoko's - a popular sizzler joint in town, something i will not forget anytime soon happened.

As we parked, just outside our car, lying on the pavement was a man drunk and passed out on the ground. I missed noticing him at the time since Mumbai is full of pavement dwellers, random people grabbing a wink on the footpath and the likes.

However, when we returned from dinner, and as I got into the car, I noticed another man opening this persons back pocket and trying to pry the wallet out. By then we (3 girls, 2 boys) were all in the car, and I had surmised that this person was trying to steal this drunkards wallet (and later i realized, shoes as well).

Since this was about one foot away from our car, this man noticed and at that time generally looked away so we dint think he was being suspicious. He also pulled his hand away from the other mans pocket (who was still passed out) which led us to believe that he could be his companion, or friend.

Once we started our car and began to pull away, I saw that this man quickly put his hand back into the drunk mans pocket, pulled the wallet out, changed into his shoes and very inconspicuously shuffled away. Seeing which i immediately almost yelled, and we stopped the car.

The drunk guy was still in an inebriated state... he would have woken up today finding his wallet (whatever little money would be inside) as well as his shoes missing. We could do nothing about it... since he was drunk, the other guy looked very suspicious,and could have had a gang, we were three women after all --- all those reasons. Still...

I couldn't get that image out of my mind for a long time - and still cant. I hope that the person who was drunk and passed out to an extent that someone could come and open his trouser button, take out his wallet, shoes and whatever he had on this person, learns a lesson and learns the limit. I also hope some luck comes his way and he doesn't have mouths to feed.

Offer me a rainbow

What is this phenomena of thinking in terms of blog posts, but when u click on 'edit posts' your face is a big white blank? In due course of time, someone should coin a term for it.

Its not even the lack of events that one has nothing to blog about. currently one would want pace of life to slow down a little as overwhelmingness could take over soon. Too much to do, too many decisions to make, too many webs to unentangle, and as is always the case, far far too less time.

What is is about inertia that just fogs your mind? I feel as though the amount of inertia is directly proportionate to the importance and time-crunched-ness of the situation. The bigger decisions and things of greater urgency I need to do, the more my usual proactive self takes a backseat.
Where is the dynamic-self-confident-sorted-out avatar when one needs it?!!

Add to that, one gets a horoscope saying "What are your goals in life? You might benefit from taking some time to write them down this week. Perhaps you'd like to find your soul mate, reach the top of your company, or lose a few pounds. But you can have the loftiest ideals in the world and not have the faintest notion of the first step to take! " Who asked Astocenter anyway. Even they know i need to figure out my life! Gah!! #$%^&@#

Add to the already unrequired inertia are things which one doesnt need - a familiar voice best left unheard, a relative with questions rather left unanswered, and conversations of matrimony when current mindspace is allergic to all of the above.

Aformentioned setbacks notwithstanding, Today I plan to make a note. Of the things I need to do. And action it. I think its my blogs fault. I used to have a diary in which I would actually write nearly each day, and make notes and pointers and felt guilty if I didnt do-a-to-do. This blog business is all public and all and then the concept is 'whats there, ill do it at some point'. no one makes me feel guilty about it. My diary was my friend. with real angry faces when i didnt do-the-to-do. lol.

So here's to 'The List'. (Currently there are two in my life - the one I will make today and the one in the book im reading - P.S. I love you.)

Why am I reading P.S. I love you? I needed to read a nice sweet book to tell me love exists and butterflies in stomach are real ... and in the first page i find out that HE DIES. Thank you Author woman. So much for my nice sweet love story, should've bought a Mills n Boon. 'A Special sort of man', 'Promise of passion', 'Love on loan' sound good to you?!! LOL!!

Driving, Drivin in your car...

If your driving me, here's a heads up on some do's and dont's. Applicable for EVERYONE.

• Dont drive at 40kmph if the road is empty. Revv up the engine and GOO! Cabbies especially, it is excrutiatingly difficult to be in a hot stuffy cab if your driving so slow that i could jog faster.
• Make sure the wipers work. In case of friends, let me work the wiper, i LOVE doing that (its a thing). If your a cabbie, just make sure the ONE LONE wiper you guys generally have only on the drivers side of the windshield is not too loose, not too tight and you dont have to prod it with a stick every once in a while.
• Always have tissues!
• If you dont have auto lock, TELL ME. Most cars today generally do, and if we (I) forget and conveniently walk out, its not our (my) fault. :)
• If your playing Music, let it PLAY! Dont rewind and forward and repeat and skip till I box you.
• In case your a cabbie, please give up on getting the EXACT frequency of the radio station, cause face it, each time we go over a speedbreaker the receptions gonna crack. Lets just go with peace and quiet. Unless its raining, in which case feel free to play old hindi songs. :)

Same sh*t, different day

U HAD to BE here to believe it. These are'nt bad resolution pictures - thats how the weather was!! Rain lovers in Mumbai - head to Lonavla/Khandala ASAP!! Of course, be sure to witness full aunty-uncle-tinku-minku type crowd, but so long as u got your little coterie with you, your set.

The expressway from the eating place at Dukes Retreat - the clouds completely shadow the hills that lie beyond.

Justttt before it started pouring and I could see this no more.
Its amazing - how a change of scenery can just put things into perspective. I came away from a small day and a half long picnic with a calm realization of the battle that lies forth, and how much introspection lay impending - and ignored.

Do we actually reach a point in our lives when past experiences shadow future endeavours? Off late I seem to have proved everyones point - that I did live in a bubble, and being too much of an optimist and hoping against hope is for fools, that ONE day I will wake up with a eerie realization - 'I'm no longer that crazy optimist I used to be, Realism and Pessimism have overshadowed my dreams and longs and expectations'

Do we reach a point in our lives that we're so scarred that every experience seems like a re-run of the past? And if it isnt, well still feel that cause once bitten, twice shy? Should you learn from past experience and guard yourself better, or should you give new people/new situations a fair chance to get to know the real, soft, unedited, vulnerable you?

If you learn from each experience you go through and figure - 'I need to toughen up' - you may toughen up so much that no one will ever reach a point that they can hurt you. I wouldnt want this.

Else, if you DONT learn from each experience and continue being the same, you'd just be allowing people and situations to get the better of you and continue hurting. I wouldnt want that either.

What about the people you hurt along the way? The people who did no wrong except allow themselves to be caught up in your mess? Can you pass it off by saying that that's their battle, just like you have yours? Or should you not have allowed that person to get caught up in your entangled, entwined mind?

Where's that fine line? Between holding on to youself and letting go? Between loving someone and falling in love? Between learning from the past and looking forward to the future? Between being independent and fiercely guarded to learning to depend and share? I would really like to cross over to the other side....

Lets go!

Offer valid till stocks last?!!

I cannot be resigned to an occurence, event or state of being.
I cannot not have Butterflies in my stomach
I cannot align myself to forces of nature other than the ones I choose.
I cannot stand a calm unruffled serene existence (although i would crave one)
I cannot not be fiercely determined to want all my 'things'**
I can only be foolishly in tune with that little voice inside my head that will revolt against the sensiblest of ideas, and walk into complete disarray, defying all odds.
I can only be strong enough to deal with whatever the hells thrown at me
I can only be unnervingly independent cause in the end, its just me.

And I can know all the above and know that Ill be ok. Either which ways.

There's a lot to be said about intuition - that little voice in your head that sometimes is right against all odds. I find that somehow, when I fall back on that 'Gut feel' Im somehow always right.

Understand it, I cant. Sometimes when all the odds are in my favor, and it seems like nothing could go wrong, I'll be doubting the outcome. 'Come on, your being paranoid', or 'Your being too much of a realist' are rationale offered to my uneasiness on accepting a situation by friends and family. After all, they've got reason, logic and facts on their side, whereas all ive got is a measly little 'But I Have a Bad feeling about this'. Explanations none, reason facts and logic even lesser.

People who explain things algorithmically fail to factor in the 'You-never-knows'. The flow of Your a good person? If yes ----> Good things will happen to you does not always apply. In fact, there are two categories of Good people - Good people to whom good things happen and Good people to whom good things happen after much ado and heartbreak, trials and tribulations. Fondly also called the 'Aa Bail Mujhe Maar' , loosely translated as 'Im right here wild bull, come n get me, Im even waving a red flag for you'category.

Ive seen Daddy go through it - a simple thing like a formality to be completed or a form to be filled... 7563485875 people ahead of him would get through with ease, and he'd get stuck since the person decided to be on a 3 month leave or some frivolous reason. Albeit, it would get done but was everything he had to go through even fair? We once celebrated a promotion since we got inside news from top quarters ... which fell through due to some highly placed politics. Honesty and Integrity were shown their true place in this world where time and again I realize we need to include selfishness, shrewdness and rid naivete of all forms from our portfolio of emotions.

I'd say I take in after him, and If someone can describe me as having even a third of the qualities he has, I'd be over the moon. His devotion to duty, deep rooted integrity, civic sense and strength of character have always made me in awe of him, and always will. That said, Im also as impatient, restless and lucked out as he is. Ive never known what it is like to have something 'easy' - be it grades in school, love, friends, or even a childish thing of winning a prize. The closest Ive come to winning a 'Prize' was 5 bottles of Citra at kids housie :) Mistake this not, it is not self pity that makes me write this, it is simply something unforgettable! (and funny)

I just need a little luck, a little break from tumultous situations and a little stretch of smooth road for a while, for sometimes even the strongest of minds and hearts wears thin.

Of alcohol induced bonhomie

This weekend started out itself with a brilliant friday evening - and since I had a couple of events lined up for saturday as well as sunday I knew I was in for a tiring next coupla days.

'Made of Honour' was my weekend fiesta initiation. The movie is mostly flat with Patrick Dempsey being the only thing worth watching about it. Ok no, make that two things, there's a scene in the movie when he kisses Hannah (his best friend) that made my stomach plummet to my ankles or thereabout. [I'm wondering if im old enough to stop being flippy about these things?]

Dinner was at Ivy Lounge, with a glass of Merlot-something. I like this place, though I wish the inside was as nice as the outside. I have a theory about wine being had in a slightly dimly lit place, with mellow music and a nice companion. Its kind of an intimate drink, in my opinion.

Saturday night saw Serendipity at 'Shiro' - a lounge bar/club type place, with FANTASTIC ambience. Its a go-in-a-big-group or go alone with someone-you-have-so-much-fun-with-you-dont-care-whose-around type place. They serve a nasty Mojito, in a tall glass, no less which can make a happy person veryy happy. Add to this the house music they were playing and it all culminated into a brilliant time. The only bad move being some alcohol induced decision of 'Lets go to Bling' at 2.30 a.m. in the morning. There were all of 2 people not drunk, myself included and two cars so apparently since we had non drunk drivers = number of cars, we had problem solved. [except the tiny detail of Bling being at Andheri, and Shiro being at Worli, and most of us living in South Mumbai].

4-5+ Drinks raises enthusiasm levels to off the scale limits, hence we all set off, reached Bling at 3.15 to find out it would cost us about 3 grand a couple to enter. Did we enter? YOU THINK? Got home that errr morning at a shameful hour, only to be asked by mom the next day 'Beta what time did u come in home last night - 3?' and I dutifully nodded my head apologetically , all the time thinking (phew, im glad that wasnt an open ended question, had she waited for me to answer, i'd have had to tell her 4.30!!)

Sunday was spent playing Taboo and Jenga among most of the guys who were stull hungover from the previous night, and who were (wonder of wonders) still drinking. Im a sucker for board games - Pictionary, Taboo, Monopoly, Jenga are my favorite favorite party games YET. If there were any words to elaborate how much ive laughed and the ridiculous things these boys have said in their half drunk stupor, i would. Until then.

Cyanide and Happiness!