Chappar Phad ke?

I believe in God. I do. I believe that there's a larger picture, and that destiny will overtake you, no matter what you do. I believe that he loves each one of us, and that there's always something in store. I also believe that when your time is up, you gotta go.

You could be a careful driver, a safe pedestrian or a paranoid parent. You could have a fireproof, shockproof, burglar proof, natural calamities proof home or office, but you of your family could die eating at your favorite restaurant. In today's day, when terror is in our faces, in my backyard, and was staring my dad in the face, we need to be terror-proof. How?

There are times I do question God. I question my blind belief in the 'Whatever happens happens for the best theory'. Like today. At work, someone was telling me about how her dad escaped death because he randomly missed the bus (which he catches each and every day) one particular day, and that's the day the bus had a horrific accident and nearly everyone died. 'There is a god', she said 'and he saved my father'. That sentence was enough for me to wonder -- the families of everyone else who perished must also have prayed for their safety, for their life.. what about them? I wonder if they stopped believing in god. Or do you say 'This too happened for the best?"

My dad was safe. And when people I meet say, 'Thank God, all went well' I stare dumbfounded - 'Did everything go well?' NO. I have a friend who lost her cousin and his wife who have two small kids (who, are busy making fake phone calls on plastic phones to their parents since they cant understand what death is) at Tiffin, a friends friend who lost her entire family, is battling 5 bullet injuries, let me not even begin on Hemant and Ashok uncle and so many other stories from near and dear ones.

I have a strange superstition that I hear of deaths in 3's. (other than natural calamities/terror attacks/unexplained tragedies). Im waiting to be proven wrong. 3 deaths between Thursday-Friday. 3 today already... (all unrelated to the terror attacks ironically). Its like they say .. 'Dene waala jab deta hai to deta chappar phad ke' (when he gives, he gives in abundance).

Some respite from bad news please. For me and these families and Mumbai. Strength to retain belief, to withstand, move on and rebuild. Peace, of mind and heart - for we need some in the midst of all this tumult. Some alone time at Siddhivinayak without being jostled around for space.

As if grappling with events of the past weeks, and the aftermath which brought no solace, there are other events to deal with. Weddings, Engagements -- which will go on, and must (should) be attended. I'm torn between what I'm feeling inside, and the thought that its someones happy day and he/she cant live in the past. To be honest, I cant see myself going, simply because Id rather not be a wet-blanket, go to a wedding and have a long face. It simply isn't fair. What to do?

The Recession hits home. After a few months of reading about half the companies across the world downsizing and giving a staggering percent of its workforce the pink slip, I can feel the effects of the slowdown. i.e I have NO work.

Which is a refreshing break from having a LOT of it. Which had been the case until very recently. Weekends, late evenings early mornings, all were devoted to my (not so) beloved desk @ work.

That said, I need 2-3 hours of work AT LEAST! 8 hours of surfing the Internet a day and fixated to one chair in one very cosy corner can pose several predicaments i.e. feeling uncontrollably sleepy, infinitely bored (how many blogs can u read), although this website proved to be good fun and sufficed for a while.

Most others are oscillating between the score (shhhhh they don't know it works) and discussing impending weekend plans. My own plans today have undergone a change. I was to attend a bollywood dance class today, (a free trial version) as I am (rightfully so) wary of my dance skills. Did i say skills? I guess it must be a typo. It is a well established fact among my inner circle (argh who'm i kidding) everyone around me that apart from talking a lot (and well :)) I have no talents. The write-in-resume type talents. Singing is something I indulge in only when no one is around, or in LOUD noisy night clubs when my voice will be drowned out anyway, since I wouldn't want to afflict someone near and dear with nightmares.

Painting of course was ruled out in school with me getting 18/50 (passing marks) for 3 years consecutively with my art teacher confessing to me that she passes me only since I was a good student otherwise. I nearly failed this once when the topic was 'A visit to the zoo'. Now for a person whose people at best look like reflections in trick figures and grotesquely disfigured, imagine what my animals would have resembled. To save face, I chose easy animals - which resulted in snakes placed next to birds. Which were the only two animals i drew. The rest of the space was occupied by a back profile of balloon seller and a tree that hid the section labelled 'Tigers' from view. Luckily since I had a way with words, I managed to convince the teacher that I meant no mockery of :"Art" when I drew that and it was simply the consequence of a person who reallyyy cant draw, attempting to do so.

This adequately covers the non singing non drawing non painting genre of talents. Which leaves me with the only stuff i EVER put on my resume - elocution, debates, extempore and the likes. Damn, still in the talking domain. *sigh* oh well, Ill live.

Err, I was about to explain change in plans when I digressed and HOW. So here's what happened. Complete boredom leads to sluggishness and bad tracking of dates et all. So Woman (i.e. me) nicely set up dance date while one close friend from America is about to step foot on home ground after an absence of nearly 2 years. Whats more, so convinced was I that she was landing tomorrow and not today, and I told everyone who was planning to go to the airport that we need to go on friday and not today. Equals, NO ONE WENT TO THE AIRPORT. I naturally need to apologise profusely and take all blame and come out looking like the bigger person. But still, I hate ditching one friend for another. Which im doing in this case. Dance class mate will have to wate. err wait. (so complete boredom also leads to deteriorating quality of jokes it seems).

Currently Reading - Love in a torn Land and Shogun. Just done with 1984. And I must say this - Those of you who haven't read it, MUST. I haven't been so deeply engrossed in a book this way in a very long time. Needless to say it was a delicious experience. Every time I put the book down, it would take me a minute or two to acclimatize to where i was and what i was originally doing. You know that very satisfied, refreshed feeling you get once you read a REALLY good book? I do. :)

Sidenote - Recession seems to have hit blogggerland too. So Many blogs I would occasionally read have been shut down. Even the others have been blogging at alarming slow frequencies

A matter of Conscience

Last night as I walked out of Yoko's - a popular sizzler joint in town, something i will not forget anytime soon happened.

As we parked, just outside our car, lying on the pavement was a man drunk and passed out on the ground. I missed noticing him at the time since Mumbai is full of pavement dwellers, random people grabbing a wink on the footpath and the likes.

However, when we returned from dinner, and as I got into the car, I noticed another man opening this persons back pocket and trying to pry the wallet out. By then we (3 girls, 2 boys) were all in the car, and I had surmised that this person was trying to steal this drunkards wallet (and later i realized, shoes as well).

Since this was about one foot away from our car, this man noticed and at that time generally looked away so we dint think he was being suspicious. He also pulled his hand away from the other mans pocket (who was still passed out) which led us to believe that he could be his companion, or friend.

Once we started our car and began to pull away, I saw that this man quickly put his hand back into the drunk mans pocket, pulled the wallet out, changed into his shoes and very inconspicuously shuffled away. Seeing which i immediately almost yelled, and we stopped the car.

The drunk guy was still in an inebriated state... he would have woken up today finding his wallet (whatever little money would be inside) as well as his shoes missing. We could do nothing about it... since he was drunk, the other guy looked very suspicious,and could have had a gang, we were three women after all --- all those reasons. Still...

I couldn't get that image out of my mind for a long time - and still cant. I hope that the person who was drunk and passed out to an extent that someone could come and open his trouser button, take out his wallet, shoes and whatever he had on this person, learns a lesson and learns the limit. I also hope some luck comes his way and he doesn't have mouths to feed.

One of them not so good days

I have come to realize that on days when im not having a particularly great day, I feel as though all of mother nature’s forces are conspiring against me and what shall become of my day. At the risk of sounding like im rambling (which I am) I’ll say that we should be allowed to take days off simply on the pretext of “not a good day”. Its only fair. Our companies owe us that it puts up with our mood swings too. I feel this will boost employee morale, make them happier and maybe even reduce the riotous proportions that attrition has now assumed. Lol.

Im a fairly optimistic person and can generally smile through most events that happen. Inconsistencies of life bemuse me and I don’t shy away from what I set myself up for, or don’t, or what’s thrown at me whether or not I deserve it anyway. I mean that’s what life’s all about isn’t it? Dealing with speed breakers and pot holes and flying objects out of nowhere that you dint expect and still come out standing.

Anyway im gonna stop sounding like a wet blanket now and get a move on things. The Nomad has very sweetly provided me with the cd’s of Gone with the wind (read it, not watched it) and Little Miss Sunshine (not watched this one either). Im also mid way through The Fine Balance am thoroughly engrossed though reading it right now is just making things seem bleaker than they are.

Sunshine - thanks for leaving that really sweet comment. Im just missing my little kid brother whose not too well and away at boarding. This is him all of 7 years old posing for a passport photo. How I wish I could turn back time.



And Jack - How can someone be so nice? I dint comment on your post simply because i couldnt. Someone saw that post at work and told me I'm lucky cos "men are generally jerks". lol