One of them not so good days

I have come to realize that on days when im not having a particularly great day, I feel as though all of mother nature’s forces are conspiring against me and what shall become of my day. At the risk of sounding like im rambling (which I am) I’ll say that we should be allowed to take days off simply on the pretext of “not a good day”. Its only fair. Our companies owe us that it puts up with our mood swings too. I feel this will boost employee morale, make them happier and maybe even reduce the riotous proportions that attrition has now assumed. Lol.

Im a fairly optimistic person and can generally smile through most events that happen. Inconsistencies of life bemuse me and I don’t shy away from what I set myself up for, or don’t, or what’s thrown at me whether or not I deserve it anyway. I mean that’s what life’s all about isn’t it? Dealing with speed breakers and pot holes and flying objects out of nowhere that you dint expect and still come out standing.

Anyway im gonna stop sounding like a wet blanket now and get a move on things. The Nomad has very sweetly provided me with the cd’s of Gone with the wind (read it, not watched it) and Little Miss Sunshine (not watched this one either). Im also mid way through The Fine Balance am thoroughly engrossed though reading it right now is just making things seem bleaker than they are.

Sunshine - thanks for leaving that really sweet comment. Im just missing my little kid brother whose not too well and away at boarding. This is him all of 7 years old posing for a passport photo. How I wish I could turn back time.



And Jack - How can someone be so nice? I dint comment on your post simply because i couldnt. Someone saw that post at work and told me I'm lucky cos "men are generally jerks". lol

Ladies and Gentleman, We are the T20 World CHAMPIONS!!

For all those who thought we could'nt - WE DID. Putting into words yesterdays match or the hopes that were riding on it is IMPOSSIBLE.

It was a FEAST for the watchers - unpredictably predictable (India -Pak are always a roller coaster). ROCKING ROLLING. SURELY WINNING. almost lost. GOT BACK INTO IT. SIX SIX FOUR. maybe we'll lose. Wicket. Wicket. MAYBE. JUST MAYBE.SIX. oh my god.

Last over. COME ON INDIA. Hearts pacing. Everyone on their feet. DOT BALL. come on. come on. Fingers tracing GANESH pendant. Drink spilling. HAND HOLDING. almost won. NEARLY lost. wicket. did u say wicket?? wicket. wicket. ohmygod. wicket. WICKET! We won!!

Chest Pumping EVERYONE HUGGING. Thanking the Almighty. We WON. :)

Cricket in India isnt only about our team winning, its in the eyes of the people - the one's that did not watch the match out of superstition ( namely, my folks among many others, who sincerely believe that whenever they watch a match, we lose), wore the same clothes or sat in the same position for three hours, its in the love of the liftmen/watchmen and cab drivers who were huddled close to the transistor waiting ardently for that magical moment. In the sound of the crackers lit by the chawl outside my house in sheer celebration. In the hearts of the country who goes to great lenghts too see us win.

Many thanks to our office admin team who sent us an email saying we could leave at 4.00 p.m yesterday :)
Renewed interest and female fan frenzy are the least of the things Twenty 20 brings with it. The new format has taken off well and makes for truly action packed, paisa vasool action.

ESPN hiked the rates of advertising in the last 10 secondsof the match by over 250%. wow. BCCI announced 20 million dollars prize money for our team. Yuvraj Singh got ONE CRORE. phew. New stars are born.

A new team India bubbling with youth energy enthusiasm aggression passion and dreams is here. Make way.

Can't get enough!

"Get out of the way" she said. "Your shadow's ruining a perfect picture". He jogged away, her voice drowned by the sound of the sea.

And his shadows in there. :)

Oy Chak de!

I finally did it. I finally watched Chak De! Before you think OMG how could you not watch it till now, I’m not a big SRK fan. In fact I pretty much DON’T like him. That and I got emotionally blackmailed by my brother to watch it only when I go visit him which was this Sunday. On meeting him I find that the little punt had already been shown it in school… Hence I watched it yesterday.

So, here's what i liked about the movie -

• I got to watch it tax free so i paid less than all y'all hehehe
• SRK dint have some woman he was trying to woo
• There were no unnecessary songs
• SRK had a supporting role to 16 fiesty young women
• The women dint have make up, and only one of them is a professional model.
• The dormitory and Locker rooms dint look like 5 star hotels.
• The women looked like they knew what they were doing.
• They lost to the men's team but still won.
• The men raised their hockey sticks in appreciation of the women.
• That Preeti Sabhrawal dumps Mr. Vice Captain.
• That Komal Chautala speaks really adorably. "oy laundya usko bata" or "Thana jana ya sorry manjur"
• That the women beat the bejabbers out of the eve teasers
• That all the people in the hall started clapping each time the women scored a goal in the WC matches.
• That Komal passes to Preeti "Dikha de us londay ko"
• That my heart was beating out of my chest in the Penalty shootout
• That Preeti gives Komal her penalty shot
• That everyone clapped hard at the end of the movie

All in all, Im satisfied. I have a very low tolerance threshold for movies, they must be really impressive for me to like them. I dont like average, mindless movies. Sometimes the movies i like are duds at the box office... This one does both. impress me and notch up the numbers!

(Small) Town girl!

Since the date clearly shows and all, i cant fool y'all. I took this picture two days ago, from a rick at Nashik. I love the picture cos it looks authentically 1970's though im not sure Kodak was in India by then :)

Incred!ble !ndia

Some random pictures i took en route Nashik. I'm in love with everythign around me... of course the sea is my first love... but one look at the pictures below, im convinced.

India is a beautiful country - there's no debate there. its just there to explore. I know people who've travelled to a zillion countries abroad, but not a place outside Mumbai in India. and i say to myself and them - we have everythign you could want right here! Not that im averse to the idea of going place, no im a big proponent of new places people and things. I just think as an Indian i ought to know the beauty and magnificence of my own country, so i have a benchmark for the others!

I am a certified photo-at-every-opportunity-taker, and a I-love-my-country-and-im-gonna-try-capturing-its-essence-in-photos-wherever-i-go". Not that im equipped with fancy cameras this is good ol camera phone at work. Little mercies :)

I've grown up by the sea... and its always been special to me. When asked in slam books and other truth and dare / random questions - "would you rather live by the mountains or the sea" pat would come the answer "the sea" without a doubt, without a blink of the eye. It was never in doubt.

But here it is - that game god plays. Falling in love with him means maybe having to leave this behind... and move. To the mountains no less. To that unthinkable option in the question, to the thought never considered. But I've fallen anyway.

I have enough memories of waves and tides and the sand and the sound of the waves in my head to last me a long time. What he gives me among other things - solace, contentment and unconditional support were something the sea did until now. But im a happy woman, I got more than i deserved.

Hopefully he feels the same way. And reads this post and says "Well move by the sea someday" :)

Once a dreamer, always a dreamer!

Finding treasure is easy.

This weekend kicked off to a most promising start, and dint disappoint! I hung out with a friend that happened at work. I bought her dinner, she bought me a book. Fair trade I would say. She loved the dinner and I loved the book. . I was always under the impression that college friends are the last lasting friends you make… but am so glad im wrong! God just knows when you need alone time and when you don’t, when you need something unexpected in your life and when you don’t. One of those unexpected little gifts. Friends are like the bag of goodies that doesn’t end. You can just keep dipping your fingers in for more.

Casual friendships may come and go,
Much as currents ebb and flow,
The swells and ripples that they make,
Leave mingled emotions in their wake.

I also spent Saturday morning visting Lalbaug cha Raja. One of Mumbai’s more loved Ganpati’s. Also one of the only to pass through Muslim areas and worshiped by them. Amidst much pushing shoving jostling stepping on toes I got up on stage and said a little prayer. Its so strange, I always have in my mind a few things I want to ask god for strength to accomplish, forgive me for etc but when im there, in front of him im overcome with strange silence and goose pimples and tears spring to my eyes as though it is enough for me just to stand in his space, and that, that itself is enough to give me strength to brave another year of trials and tribulations.

Later, I met another friend of mine from junior college, someone I had drifted away from… but we had spent many a night watching ally mc beal, listening to Annies song, wondering if Mr. perfect still exists. We recently got back in touch and it was like Magic. Like those last four years of not knowing what we’ve been up to has changed nothing.

For some friends drift with the changing tide,
They come on strong and then subside.
Soon to crash upon the shore,
Disappear to be seen no more.
Others are strong enough to stand,
The drifting tide and the shifting sand.

Is just so ironic, 2 friends - one old one new. And yet, having found both mean so much to me that time seems inconsequential. I just know that I want to spend many many evenings hanging out, losing track of time talking, watching Dirty Dancing for the umpteenth time, Friday nights after a long hard days work at a new place or an old place or any place doing what we did.

Affinity of mind and heart,
Love much more than a token,
Understood, yet unspoken.
A common bond, a mutual goal,
An understanding heart and soul
A hand outstretched in time of need,
A thoughtful and a friendly deed.

Sunday I went to visit my little brother at Boarding, after a break of 2 months. I miss him so. Sleeping uninterrupted at night with no random arms and legs landing on me is something I am not used to yet.

Monday morning, and although im back to my irritable “mornings-should-start-at-11a.m” mood I have this strange satisfaction. Of having pulled two strings closer to myself, of being allowed to share two more lives, of being allowed the joy of having found something that I know, is for keeps.

These little things that mean so much,
Are strokes of friendships golden touch.

Why she doesnt watch TV?

Someone was ragging me about how little TV I watch. Day before I realized why I have absolutely no interest in it -

TV - Time 10.10 p.m.
· NDTV - (habits makes me switch news channels on first) Uma Khurana - Fake expose. The accused is now wronged. Poor middle class school teacher lost her pride and reputation thanks to some reporter woman and a stupid tabloid of a channel. 2 mins, repeat slide of Uma being dragged to court whilst being beaten and having her hair pulled. Flick.
· Times now - Benazir Bhutto “claiming” she is not striking a deal with President Musharraf. Linger 3-4 mins, Flick.

Enough of news channels, I think ok let me move on to something else then
· Sony TV - Unknown program. “Inspector sahab, mere pati .. something something”. Gah. 22 whole seconds. Flick.
· Star Plus - Unknown program, although I think it was Kasturi cos that was the main womans name. (tip - to indentify main woman in show, locate woman whose marriage everyone else is tyring to break and whose family is beginning to lose trust in her. She also would be the one with a tense/crying/worried look on her face, and would also be trying single handedly to face the wrath of 4785645 villains whose life aim is focused around destroying her life. 3 minutes. Flick.
· Channel V - ads for a whole 20 second I think. Flick
· MTV - random song from unknown random movie. Flick.
· Zoom - Mickey Mehta answering a question on “ MIcky, pls tell me a good exercise to lose weight” from Anon, Mumbai. Micky (the holistic health guru) - “Hi, the best exercise to lose weight is any exercise… blah” I caught the name of the show due to small icon on bottom left of screen - “Maximum style diva” shouldve been reason enough to flick. Flick.
· Discovery Travel and Living - AHHHHH. Biker build off re-run watched before in regular tv viewing days. Flick.

By now, im in the “just giving tv one last chance” mode.
· (Don’t remember which.) sports channel - Twenty 20 match b/w West Indies and South Africa. Chris Gayle just hits a six that looks like its probably out of the country by now. This was nice. Watched for half an hour, was time for bed. Flick. Off.

Wasn’t too hard was it? Why I don’t watch tv!

OOH just remembered cute little limerick on tv -

"In the house,
of Mr and Mrs. Spouse,
He and she would watch tv,
and never a word between them spoken,
until the day the set was broken,
suddenly, who're you? said she to he -
Im Spouse said he to she,
Why mine's the ..
But they never really did find out,
cos the set came suddenly right about"

Note to self - Cant resume tv viewing habit.

(Dis) orientation

Its confirmed. The whole concept of scaring bosses away. Two jobs, 18 months, 5 bosses. phew. Which effectively means no boss has done my review more than once. Or been around for longer than 3 months. Could come up with a whole bunch of statistics which proves my bosses quit too soon. Ive been lucky though, with NO exception, i would LOVE to work with any of them again.

Its a pattern for me. At my previous company too, i worked with one boss for 3 months, she quit, we shifted floors, he quit, I quit (else would've shifted floors again). Here i am, job # 2, I work for 3 months, he quits, she quits, we shift floors, he quits, we shift floors again. YIKES. i feel like a yo yo. i wonder IF this boss quits too, will we shift floors again?! maybe I should just quit and end the cycle eh?

Ive spoken about this before too, this degree of comfort which is required to get me to go somewhere for a min of 8 hrs a day, nearly 320 days a year. I need to orient myself to the smallest things - for eg my previous floor had incandescent light and nicely painted yellow pillars which mad3 it very lively. this floor (which i was on in the 1st place) has tube lights and a dull white and dark blue setting. GAH. even things like direction of seating, computer, leg space are big on importance.

Its just very unsettling, every one's either quit, quitting or wanting to quit! Everyone complains of complacency, frustration, low pay etc. But to be honest, I have friends who are senior position wise, who are earning much more (and commensurate with their post/experience etc) and still complaining about their pay. While i think reaching a point where your satisfied with your job and life is dangerous (i think there should ALWAYS be a little wind space between completely content and where you are currently) i also think that there are certain things that will just not change - People will ALWAYS complain about money, and the fact that the company does very little for them, and that they work too much for too little etc.

Honestly I'm sick of it. Ive been in two companies i know its not much, but the grass is always greener! My first company is the "aspirational" company - i.e. people generally tend to move from here to there not the other way round like Ive done. Its supposed to be bigger better and cooler. Hogwash. while it is bigger market wise, everyone there complains about quality of work life, low pay and company nonchalance. the same problems everywhere!

I think somewhere, we need to look at ourselves, and what we are doing for the company rather than the other way round every time, maybe life will be a little better. I know mine is.

Love affair # 2

I am clearly obsessed by the sea. To be fair, ive lived by the sea since i was 7. ive had breathtaking views from my windows and balconies. Watched the ships light up on Navy day, watched them dock through the rains, watched the mangroves slowly recede.

What have i not done on Marine drive other than the usual sit, talk, walk, run. Ive laughed and cried and sat with someone and sat alone, fought and made up, held hands and let go.. done assignments and studied, spent 4 hours bunking lectures in the blazing sun.

So what is it about this place? The sea is a good hint :) other than that, i think for me, its the way i could always fall back on it. it was never too far from home, never too far from my thoughts, always offered me solace, put things into perspective, make smal things feel big and big things feel bigger...

ah. i forgot - fed pigeons at 6.00 in the morning. (yes, there was a time when i could wake up that early), bicycled all the way to chowpatty and had chaai from shady looking bhaiyya who brings it on his cycle.

Ill always want to have this .. to live by the sea.. and have my chaai leaning over my balcony.. cos thats what the sea makes you do... it makes you this dreamer.. this person who is content with herself and her thoughts and the gentle lapping of the waves..

Rainy day in South Mumbai

21st Floor, Wont mention building name. I wish this was the view from my house (instead its one very very lucky friend). The World Trade center. 30 floors something. Awespiring!

BIATCH.