Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Serendipitys guide "To find your cellphone 17 times a day"

But, First. A quick-fix guide on 'How to NOT lose your cellphone 17 times a day'
  • Do not buy Large Mucho Fashionable Tote/Shoulder Bag. (For practical purposes, Henceforth referred to as the LMFTS Bag.)
  • After blatant and unabashed ignorance of above point, Do not stuff Large Mucho Fashionable Bag with unnecessary equipment, accesories, cosmetics, osculation enhancers and food items.
  • Do NOT confuse LMFTS Bag with bag required for backpacking trip across Europe, unless you could take off any minute and want to be prepared nonetheless.
  • Must buy LMFTS Bags only with pseudo mobile holding appartus-like pocket.
  • Place mobile phone in the appropriate pseudo mobile holding pocket each time after use.
  • Bookmark in imaginary post-it in your head that mobile has been deposited in required pocket.
  • Prior to exit of office/recreational place/vehicle, check the presence of aforementioned device in ear-marked territory.

Now. The Quick-fix Guide to finding your cellphone.

  • Upon exit of most (Read: ALL) places/vehicles (specially public transport) without checking for darn phone in place, scramble about bag hurriedly whilst still on shoulder, break into sweat as the possibility of having lost the phone dawns upon you, switch suitably between looks of slight anxiousness to medium apprehension to outright agony over alleged loss of device.
  • Proceed to haphazardly empty contents of LMFST Bag, balancing contents in teeth, under arm, etc, whilst still heroically proceeding with the search.
  • Plea with then exasperated friend to give you a missed call.
  • The LMFST Bag vibrates to life, and your heartbeat slowly, but surely regains its steady pace.
  • Thank life-saving, phone finding, missed-call giving friend profusely.

Repeat Process 17 times a day.

And dont ask me how the above process was invented.



Psyched said...

add one more... just remem to keep your phone in Vibration mode all the time... for otherwise, your bag won't.... The LMFST Bag won't vibrate to life

- trust me most ppl don't prefer the phone in that mode...

Serendipity said...

Hahaha, ok will do :D

Mumbai Diva said...

LOL. And LOL again.

I so recognize this whole process.

Kamana said...

for people who still dont get it....
1. Recall every time before setting foot in a cab, that mobile phone was lost in one such mode of transport.
2. Clutch for life, the gadget when slightly drunk at a party and repeat in repeat mode: "Have lost a mobile phone previously at such a place wont do it again."
3. Say an "Alimighty Please take care" prayer everytime u step out wid mobile phone.

perplexed said...

hehe.. I totally relate to every bit of this post!

Aniket said...

I am soooo loaughing my ass off over this one!

I had a bet with my friend that she can't find her keys to the flat in her in 3 minutes. Easiest treat I ever won. :-)

And my sister & I have had so many quarrels over this. Each time I call her, she'll say that Cell was in the bag so I couldn't know that you were calling.

First, they'll wear jeans so tight that not even a key could be kept in the pocket, and then they'll carry a bag with such a size that every last one of the Mohican's could fit into it.

Women! :-)

Aniket said...

Sorry for the typo... I meant "In her bag in 3 minutes" :-)

Smita said...

lol lol & more....

Been there done that so many times that I woudn't ask you about how :D

I would ask, that despite this process how many times do u still loose ur mobile??


Goofy Mumma said...

Ha ha ha. nice one. Happens to all of us i think!

Scattered Thoughts... said...

so how did you invite the mechanism ;))

Pri said...

man!! u are a GENIUS!! :p

eye-in-sty-in said...

This is one time when those forwarded SMSes also come in handy!

hitch writer said...

Sorry.... I am very late... imagine i m the 13th to comment... but a bit of work finally !!! whew....

and hey... that is unbelivably funny... after having lost 3 mobiles... i need to use all of those 17 tactics !! lol... :)

Anonymous said...

Very honest post.
Ok, let me tell you a man's POV. Carry another phone to give that missed call to the lost phone. Carry a third phone and another LMFTS Bag, in case the second phone is also lost and so on.
Finally, but a station wagon to keep all the LMFTS Bags and the lost phones and drive to the nearest shopping mall to redeem your happiness.

That way you would always be independent and happy :)


Anonymous said...

LOL you should file a patent request ;)

Farcenal said...

In respone to your first issue of misplacing your phone, yes, you could do all that they've suggested......or you could not act like a woman :)

Serendipity said...

@ Mumbai Diva - LOL! :) Hope the darn phone has been found each time :)

Kamana! - the points are so good, think ima edit and add in my post :D

"Recall every time before setting foot in a cab, that mobile phone was lost in one such mode of transport." LOLLLL

PPLXD :) thnkee!

@ Aniket - hehe! "last one of the Mohican's could fit into it" loll!
women! cant live with'em, cant live without eh?

Serendipity said...

Hi Smitha - err, ahh twice. :)

@ GMUM- YA! it does. but d we learn? :D

@ Scatteredthoughts- dont ask :S lol. two phones have been lost and countless false alarms :D:D

@ Pri - Man, how did u know i visited your blog :D:D and finally someone recognises me for who I AM!

@ eyein - hellyeah! :)

Hi Hitch! Hmppff you are late. IMAGINE. you and 13th!! :D

Serendipity said...

@ Haathi - CLearly, you are well versed in the working of 'how to keep a woman happy' :D
i like the driving to the nearest shopping mall idea. mucho!

Hi SS!! - I SHOULD. A PATent leather hobo request hehehe ;)

@ Farcenal - But then Id be defying what God intended me to do no? I cannot defy the law of the univese :D

Anonymous said...

X 4 for ipod, apartment keys, and wallet for me.

My friends here have COMPLETELY given up on me and my believing that I have lost one of the above.