Monday, March 2, 2009

What Happens Ever After?

I had a quiet weekend. A mellow one. And it was delightfully enjoyable.

Every so often I like doing nothing much, watching a long slow, non commercial film, lazying around home on a Saturday night, with no huge party to attend. Its funny that it started with attending a wedding and a birthday party on Friday night. Yes, in true Social butterfly style, I walked in home from work, showered, dressed and left in a completely Indian ensemble for the wedding which was thankfully 15 mins away from home. The wedding attended, I got home, changed completely into a whole new outfit and left for a birthday party. My watchman must've been impressed. I walked in and out of home in 3 different avatars in the space of a few hours that night. Phew.

Weddings are fun though. I always look around and think in my head 'Oh at mine, I want this done this way' Or 'oh wow, let me take this wedding card makers number'. Yep, I'm one of those women. The kind who wants attention to detail, small things she's seen here and there and liked and loved to be a part of her wedding day. Who wants to hold her husbands hand and look frightfully happy, not photogenic plastic smile happy. Who wants every emotion felt that day to feel dazzlingly heightened, look her bestest best, and have her face hurt from smiling so much.

That's the one thing I look for when I look at a bride - how happy she looks... With all the numerous ceremonies and other extravagant hoopla that surrounds Indian weddings, its a given that the Bride and Groom are tired. Still, Its the look in her eyes, the palpable excitement that events and fatigue of the past few days cannot overtake that tell you how she's feeling inside...
There are two things a woman knows: what she's looking for and what she'll settle for... And if she's settling, it'll show.

I want to wear Dark Green and Red with Dull gold work, Antique gold Kundan Jewellery, with shoes as flat as flat can be. With all the standing around that brides need to do, Ill save all the uncomfortable-ness for my clothes and jewellery. Hair will be lightly clipped, no grand bun with 1500 hair clips and swarowski studs in it for me. Just a plain simple blow dry should set it. Nude/Smoky eyed Makeup. Not too little, not too less and whatever happens, I will NOT match my eyeshadow to the colour of my saree. Not even if I have to fight with my stylist for it . (i.e. assuming of course That I have one!)
I want us to pick out my ring, and not his folks, And I'll pick out his. A simple plain wedding band with the date and our names engraved on the inside. Sealed with a kiss.

I want him to know me inside out. What I'm afraid of, Which toothpaste I like. What makes me cranky, Love the people I love. Fight with me over ordering food, insisting on making (burning) the toast, Learning to swim from me, knowing when that time of month is, Buying me my favorite lollipop (cause god knows I still Love 'pops). Loving me for all my eccentricities and always walking on my left, and walking on white striped crossings and looking for logarithms in car numbers and still not thinking I'm a nut job. And that Is why I DON'T want to have an arranged marriage. And that's where A comes in. He 's cute. A second chance... Something I thought may never happen to me again after V and I broke up. He makes me feel as though these things aren't weird after all. Remembers a random tiny little thing I Mustve said 3 weeks ago (and freaking me out) whilst conveniently forgetting Valentines (How?!!). I like.

Anyone who leaves me a bunch of red flowers and a note AND a prettily wrapped box with a big bow on my desk first thing in the morning is worth it. No? Want to know what was inside? 3 very adorably picked out cosmetic products from Lush and a big dialed, pearl plated Esprit watch. Which I wore although it clashed terribly with work wear. I just stepped up the attitude so I could carry it off.

How I digressed. But I'm feeling good, somehow. This was on my mind maybe. The thought that I probably couldn't grow to love someone again, and maybe have to resign to *meeting someone through my parents* and the 'Settled/Arranged' marriage bit, scared me to no end. I'm allowing myself the luxury - of feeling these feelings again..of missing him so much (when he was away for 3 days) that I wanted to pick a fight when he did actually call, its a Delicious feeling, to allow yourself to be swept off ... although this is for real. It isn't fairy tale like (except when I think of it later, with sound effects in my mind), it isn't hypothetical, I don't have my expectations through the roof, and he isn't even claiming to be prince charming. But, its real.

His favorite line is that he's positive he's gonna hurt me and made me mad at him more times than not. He's even convinced that one day I might reconsider, since He isn't offering me rainbows and stars and a big fancy life. But baby, If you stand by me when I look like a hag and pat my back when I'm sick, worry about me when I'm crossing the street, and make me feel so much peace within, I don't think there's a chance in hell Id let you go.

So what happens after? Is it Happy? or Does Cinderella drive him nuts with her obsessive need to clean the castle, cause she missed her day job? source (for the dialogue above only)


Aniket Thakkar said...

Well thats pretty serious stuff coming from you, this time. I am sure Cinderella would be most happy. Quoting Lena "Sometimes in our normal ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale".

People of promise stars, make false pretences. "A" however seems to be pretty down to earth. I'll put my money on 'Happy' and gosh, your dad better be filthy rich to fulfil your grand marriage plans! :-D

PS: I am sooooo afraid of arranged marriage. Even best of friends don't make a good room mate. And the idea of spending life with someone after meeting her 2-3 times. Scary as hell. I wish I find someone before such a situation pops up.

All the best to you! :P

Anil P said...

Few things matter. And those that matter will stay with you long after you've loosened your grip, having realised them.

snow said...

This is such an 'aww' post :) I couldn't guess where it was leading. But I knew it was a happy post. I guess that's how life is too sometimes..

"I just stepped up the attitude so I could carry it off." <-- that was a good one!

Like they say, it's the small things that matter most in life, so if you've got those small things set, you're good to go :)

Piper .. said...

:):) I cant stop beaming! :):) I have been more of a tom boy all my life. But planning my own wedding was the happiest thing I`ve ever done. And believe it or not, all through the reception, The G and I talked, talked, talked like crazy!! Of course in the videos, it looks a lil weird - the mandatory 'shy' looks conspicuous by their absence!!
On a different note,From what I read, dont let him go!!! Hold on for dear life if you have to!! :):) Just kidding.. Hopefully we`ll hear some wedding bells ring soon! Hugs

Goofy Mumma said...

Oh what a dreamy post, and yet as you put it, real. I wish you the very best, from the bottom of my heart! And love your wedding attire by the way, I am a big sucker for kundan too!!

Aditya said...

"The thought that I probably couldn't grow to love someone again, and maybe have to resign to *meeting someone through my parents* and the 'Settled/Arranged' marriage bit, scared me to no end."

Been there, done that, glad it's history.


Serendipity said...

Thanks Aniket! Im serious too :D And you have time kid, dont worry!

Hi Anil - Well said! :)

@ Snow - would You believe I was planning to write about Banjamin Button?!! I just drifted off! (and how?!)

Hi Goofymum! Thankee! well, liknig it is oone thing, and affording it, another. Silly glass work costs a bomb! but looks fantastic no?!

@ Adi - hellyeah! and..touchwood :)

Aniket Thakkar said...

How old are you anyway to call a 24 yr old a "kid"??? :)

And @ "And if she's settling, it'll show" Thats so true.
I don't wanna 'Settle' for anyone too. I wanna say 'I do' and not 'You'll do'. :-D

Serendipity said...

errm 25. :D
But women are wayy more intellectually mature than men. so there :P

Rohini said...

Nice post :)

Aniket Thakkar said...

Then you are a slightly elder kiddo! :) And huh maturity was always over-rated.

Growing up has only added to my misery so far... so no complaints. :-D

PS: Aapki maturity chalak chalak ke gir rahi thi, Tagosorous wali post mein! lolzzzzzzzz!!!!
Aisi maturity se to hum bachche hi achche! :)

Serendipity said...


Nirav said...

Hey! Long time... Its amazing that you are so happy :-) I hope that the 'ever after' also turns out to be as happy as the present.

Piper .. said...

err..did i say something wrong?

Serendipity said...

Hi Piper!! NO YOU DIDNT!! Im such a Doof, I skipped replying to your comment, I dont know how! I want the shy looks missing too, I compltely adore a bride and groom who look like they're having a blast on their own wedding, as opposed to just completing the formalities!! :)
Hugs right back at ya! :) plus one extra one fo my stupidd mistake!

Serendipity said...

Hi Nirav! Yeah, its been longg! Where've u been? I thought you had made a deal to be more regular etc? and, touchwood :)

Abhishek said...

I loved reading this... people change over a period of time... with you...some things are still so much the same :)... I am happy for ya.. :) :)

Smita said...


I have fallen in love with this post :-)

I had never dreamt of any such thing.....never wanted to Marry :-) so jo hua jaise hua accepted :-)

Amol said...

Lovely post. I wish I had your emotional maturity when I was a young whippersnapper like you :)