Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Among other things

There are times when you miss a man around the house. To summarize -

  • To life something heavy OR

  • To open a jar

Yesterday was one of those days. An attempt to make pasta was annoyingly sprinkled with a fistfight with the jar of olives and when that battle was won 20 mins later, another one ensued with the pasta sauce jar. Of course, at that time none of my neighbours were home so I was lef to fend for myself. Now my usual well worked out self wayyy back in the day wouldve scoffed at not being able to open a jar, but 10 pounds later its a different story.

My mom has picked up me not having sent her any new photos of me since a few months. "Beta, why are you not in any of these photos?" she asked - "oh, no reason, the scenery was so nice I dint want to take away from it" I said which is the same as saying I've put on weight and you will kill me if you knew. Now the plan is to lose it before my India trip in december and what they dont know cant hurt, right? :-/

While it took me some time and apprehension, living alone is kindof nice. I curled up last night under the comforter with my laptop and book with just the tablelamp on, working a little and reading. The last two Sunday evenings have seen a pattern fall into place with the time from 6 p.m onwards dedicated to cleaning the house, doing the dishes, ironing the clothes for the week, cooking 2-3 things for dinner for the week and such chores. I had a drink while doing these chores as well, felt strange. Call it good bringing up or some such, but even having moved away from home I havent abused this liberty ever since I moved to America. Not one drunk night, not one mindless regrettable act, no fling, (wait, this sentence is depressing me!) - I was a good girl even in Vegas. Heck, we fell asleep at 12 on a saturday night when we went since we all were out all day! All in all, Guess im just not the kind to lose my inhibitions and be a wildcat although id like to be a little bit of it ;)

It's also scary that everyone around me is in relationships and engaged or married. Will I be that girl whose old and unmarried and who has only married friends? Will I be that girl whose parents are desperately looking out for when all the 'good ones are gone'? Much as I want to marry on my own terms and for love and happiness, this scares me. After the last experience where I almost got married to my best friend of 4years but then didnt, I'm phobic. Im scared of the 'M' word when it comes to my relationships and im scared of not having control. I'll be scared stiff if my in laws dont like me cause they can make or break your relationship (and i WILL ATTEST to that) SPECIALLY if the guy isnt strong enough to stick up for you. I'm scared of making the wrong decision, of hurting my parents and putting them through what I did a few years back. I'm scared of losing this liberty, this ambition with my life aspirations and I'm scared of holding on too tight. I'm scared I wont know where the middle ground is... I'm scared ill fall out of love or get bored. Mindjob? Yes please.


Serendipity said...

Typo: 'life' instead of 'lift'

Also, this is kinda weird. You want to be and sound like an independent and yet chained to the usual I-have-to-get-married because I-have-to-get-married...

Being Independent, Falling in Love, Getting Married...isn't that something you can do all together?

Btw...there are plenty of ways to open a jar without having to call a guy :)

Serendipity said...

Youre right about sounding conflicting. I do recognize it - and there's no right answer for it .. it is how it is, and thats how i feel. which is tough..

OH I tried a hundred ways of opening the damn jars - heating them, using a cloth, scraping the edges - i finally succeeded but it was a ridiculous effort :-/

Aditya said...

"Call it good bringing up or some such, but even having moved away from home I havent abused this liberty ever since I moved to America. Not one drunk night, not one mindless regrettable act, no fling..."

We really are two of a kind. I've had plenty of occasion to get drunk - whether campus parties thrown by guys with lots of money or now earning my own - and yet there's a bottle of nice Red that I got on my birthday in February that lies not-yet-finished.

"It's also scary that everyone around me is in relationships and engaged or married. Will I be that girl whose old and unmarried and who has only married friends?"

I know this fear, and I suspect it is more so for girls.

Just don't EVER do things because of peer or parental pressure. It's the fastest way to regrets.

Scarlett said...

Mindjob? Unfortunately you're not a guy, or I would've suggested something else that guys tell me works better than any drug :D

Anyway. SO. You know what's coming, don't you?

Stop obsessing over marriage!!!! You're only 27. I know you've always wanted to get married & have a family but really...what's the rush? You should get married when you meet the guy that you WANT to spend the rest of your life with b/c you don't want to end up regretting your decision later. Which is way too common.

Anyway. Here's a tip to open a jar by yourself - tilt it over the gas burner (so the cap gets the heat) and keep turning it around. For 10 seconds maybe. You should be able to open it easily.

And living alone is something you get used to, out of necessity more than choice. My Sunday evenings too follow the same pattern as yours, mostly. And sliding inside your comforter with your laptop on your lap is one of the best things in the world.

After having moved to Sydney I too have started having a drink or two while doing my chores of watching TV by myself. Don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier. People ask me how I can drink on my own, but I kind of enjoy it actually...b/c I'm not drinking to get drunk!

And come on, you have to turn the heat on a little bit in life. Don't let me down!

Scarlett said...

PS: If someone chooses to get drunk, have a fling or have mindless sex, it doesn't mean they've had a "bad upbringing". What's wrong with you??!!!!

The knife said...

I was going to tell you how to open tight jars. Scarlett beat me to it. But yeah that's pretty much it. For whatver it's worth I ask my wife to open tins!

A drink or two relax occasionally is cool. And as far as bad upbringing is concerened, if you go by Anna, we already show that be being non vegetarian

Serendipity said...

Scarlett, Knife - I did exactly that with the jar :)) The darn thing was ridiclously tightly screwed.

@Scarlett - youre right, I absolutely dint mean doing that is bad upbringing, I was more talking about my upbringing where I had so many liberties and such an open envoirnment growing up that I dont feel a huge rush of freedom or the need to abuse it... and youre right about the other things too... :(

Adi- LOL! Are u sure we dint lose each other in the Mela? when do u graduate?

Over the Unheard Sand said...

I can totally relate to this post of your.I am not essentially a misogamist because something of a bad experience,it is simply because I haven't really seen marriages flourishing as we were told when we were kids.Yet,the insides of me are scared that I will end up alone.The world rebuking my decisions/choices to lead a life.And yes,it also torments me that my in-laws might not end up liking me.And I am JUST 21.=/.

Hopefully it all shall turn out good.For you AND me.=).

Do stop by my blog sometime,whenever you get time.

v said...

I don't think I can ever get used to living alone. Tight jars or not! I find it extremely hard to open the keys to an empty house everyday. I had such romantic notions about rainy afternoons, books and all alone at home but they turned out to be just that -romantic notions!

I am probably younger and not in a place to talk about marriage and stuff but I have had such a lot of pressure at home lately and I think it is absolutely necessary we all wait for someone who makes us want to get married. And honestly, how many married people around you lead a happy, cribbing-free life? I think they all envy us secretly! :)