Wow. Fighting blogggers block sure is tough. Especially when in the last two months of not blogging, said blogger moves countries, shifts life stages and starts getting her butt busted in an academic envoirnment she's trying to keep pace with.
How do i even qualify what the past two months have been. The run up to moving here - halfway across the world away from my comfort zone was as suspected an emotional roller coaster with apiness and excitement playing ball with sadness and anxiety about what lies beyond and what I left behind. I miss home - I miss my friends. I miss having people around me who know EXACTLY what I mean, and who'll auto complete my sentences. I miss Mom and her hugs and her bugging me to use sunscreen. I miss Mumbai and the sound of the sea - the beautiful hum drum of the waves. At the same time, I love the space here, the wonderful refreshing air not reeking of pollutants. I love the dignity of the place and people who will gracefully allow a pedestrian to pass with a smile, the cashiers who will tell you to have a great day with an infectious smile. How the switches go the other way around and the cars are on the opposite ends of the street. How I still look the wrong way and still get my dimes and cents wrong. How I hate having to wait a week to do laundry and even more when that draws into two. I love how I have another shot at being mysef again - the mellowed me just wasnt quite right. How I'm like a kid in a candy shop marvelling at these new things Im seeing and doing.
I hate how I have a new life and I love it too. A dichotomous reaction to the space and time I am now ensconed in. A crossroad where I can make it or break it.
I am excited about what lies ahead- This past month settling in is a good indication of what I can expect in the future. At the same time I left a lot behind - there's a part of my heart with someone I cant get back. And I think I have a part of his. Where we'll go and what we'll be, I dont know.
Life is funny. It'll throw a pile of emotions for you to deal with at the same time - who needs an MBA when you've got god pulling at the strings of your life?! This is time management, emtions management and priority setting at the very best application Ill ever find.
Today is one of those days - when Im suddenly feeling 50,000 miles away from home. Its a strange feeling, not being able to call HOME because of logistic issues!! Hello, I want my mommie please? yeah Iknow, im an improved version and all that but I dont profess to being able to do without my mom. :-/ Bittersweet. solitary. strange. Back for more. Im not all about the hard stuff :)
8 comments:
good luck :)
Hey, the key to stop missing home so much is to hang out w/ as many Americans & other internationals as you can. It can work like magic, I tell you! Just immerse yourself in the experiences & your life there. Make the most of the opportunity you've got. And take care!
Hey great hearing from you.
I hated it when I moved out of home too. Years back. Specially during Durga puja. But as Scarlett said meeting new people and making new friends can be quite an experience. And as someone who is about to drive off home...enjoy a land with courteous pedestrians and proper driving manners
I fought the same Bloggers' Block...
....and lost. The blog stands abandoned, as of now. :(
Every feeling that you've put up, I went through two years ago. It was quite surreal. For the first of the year in fact, I used to feel guilty that I was *not* homesick. Of course, when thesis time came about, the loneliness got to me....
Lots to learn, S. Good luck, it's not hard :)
awww. enjoyed reading this post a lot. i can no longer put into words how i feel about moving to this place, cannot write how it felt back then when i was fresh here. glad to read some words, and the fact that you're recording it on your blog! wonderful. and must be painful too..
good luck to u :) make new friends, make new memories,...
Felt like that when I went to uni, even though I'd lived in England before.
The best way to not miss home is make really good friends a.s.a.p. and just hang out with them all day, doing silly things. It's alright to miss home and the first time you go back is AMAZING. But trust me, make 2-3 close friends and you'll get the best of both worlds.
PS. don't hang around with Indians all the time! I know its tempting but later you'll wish you hadn't :P
I agree w/ Farcenal completely. The fewer Indian friends you make, the better. They tend to be really clannish, hanging out w/ other Indians only, doing things that remind them of home all the time etc. Make friends from all over the world & you'll have the time of your life!
God yes - I echo those two. Do *NOT* stick to Indians, you'll miss out the best part about studying abroad. This also means that the Indians you will end up friends with, will be proper friends and not just "people who look and talk and eat like you".
PS: Learn to swear in many languages. Teach them some of your own too. Nothing builds bonds faster...
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