Sounds good so far. My gym fee used to be about 15 grand (inclusive of taxes) for the year until the last year. I didn't renew gym when my membership expired cause I would've been getting married and moving. (note - missed the offer of a yr membership @ Rs. 18,000). To further note that I am one of those people who -
- Is not only a foodie, BUT
- Puts on weight like its in fashion AND
- Eats when shes upset/angry etc.
This cant be good.
Moving onto the Renewing Business. I acknowledged my wanting-to-get-back-to-gym-and-get-ass-kicked hence called up gym to inquire about new rates.
Me: "Hi, I'm (Insert Real life name), wanted to inquire about your new gym rates, wanted to renew my membership."
Guy (Major smile beaming through phone voice): "Sure Ma'am - The yearly fee is Rs. 27, 555. Would you like us to come by and pick up your payment?"
Me: (Gulps) "27, 555? Inclusive of tax (12.36%)?"
G: (Less smilingly):" Taxes extra"
Me: (Slow sinking cant-afford-it-feeling coupled with quick 27555*.1236 calculation) "What about off peak hours?"
G: (Shes not gonna join voice):"Ma'am we've discontinued the off peak hour rates. We now have a standard fee. This entitles you to use the swimming pool, steam, sauna all for free (FREE, REALLY? wtf am i paying 30 grand for then?)"
Me: (Desperately): "Ive been a member for three years! Cant i get a discount? Is Shahzad (the Manager last I went). Can you please check"
G: (Stop wasting my time voice), (Two minute pause) :" Ma'am we can give you a five percent discount on the total cost"
Me: (mentally calculating 27,555 - 0.05*27,555 = f*ckloads of money): "All right let me call you back shortly"
By now im quite upset and pretty sure I wont be able to join cos shelling out close to 30 G for gym just wasn't happening. My middle class upbringing forbids me from splurging that money although it sits pretty in account, could be put to better use. Anyway, to further (and then end) the conversation.
G: "Ma'am if you were to ask me, our best scheme and most economical one for you is the three year package. Only 69, 555 for three years."
Me: (in my mind) "Shut up"
Me: (Out Loud) :" Ok great, ill have to call you back". (open a send-me-to-gym foundation, gather funds and then)
Now, considering I gymmed with them for three years, its a given that my name and number are in the database. No sooner did I hang up with Euphoria-now-5 guy, i get the sms below -
"Members are requested to bring their own swimming pool caps while availing facilities. The new and improved 5 also has something something for your all round fitness regime."
Anway, Coming back to square one. Needing to get down to it. Must start deadlining. And weight losing. Let me start with 3 Kgs. By end Feb? Anyone wanting to be mentor and shouting at me end Feb if this deadline is not met, feel free. To note I will make sad face and get away so please to be hardass. Volunteers?