Monday, May 24, 2010

The transience of infinity

Its only once we realize the finite nature of things around us, do we really value them. Name the top three things that come to your mind - time, love, life? Have we all not, at one point or another thought of something as strange as what we'd do if we had 24 hours to live? Heck, I had to write a 300 word essay for my school applications recently! What we'd say to a loved one if he had 24 hours to live? How we'd spend the last week at home before leaving the country? What we'd say if it were the last conversation we were having?

Infinity, is actually, a misnomer. Come to think of it, everything in life can be allocated ephemeral pockets of circumstantial time slots and vacant spaces in our hearts. Do you still love the person you said you'd love forever? Most likely, not. We love circumstantially and conditionally, contrary to what Bryan Adams might say. A sequence of events led us to feel what we did at that point for another person who at that time fulfilled some latent need--wanting to be loved, to feel secure, to be a couple, to count on, it varies. Which brings me to the point - infinity is actually transient. fleeting. brief. momentary.

We live in a world of paradoxes. Where change is imperative and imminent, yet faced with intense opposition. We'd stagnate without it, yet we battle any change with formidable strength.
Where love is not 'forever' but 'until you suit me'. A world moving at whirlwind speed with more efficiency than ever before, yet where's the time?

Today as I count down to a new life, in a new country, I feel a heightened perception of emotions of all kinds stewing through me. Home cooked food, Mom's hug, friends phone calls, family - suddenly I'm treating these things with enormous depth. The other day I was driving past Marine drive and I remembered all the millions of times Ive driven past hurriedly to get home, but that day, I took in each curve in the road, each contour of this beautiful coastline, absorbing the energy of lovers, joggers and urchins just infusing life into this place. I pulled down the windows and let the salty sea spray ruin my hair for once without a grumble. I ate plain rice and dal without a squeak of opposition as I know there's going to be a day, not too soon when I might be craving this - and a status on a social networking site is all Ill have to contend with.

It's not just the impending move to another country - its the repercussions thereafter too. This could possibly be the last time I live in my parents home as me. This new life and move could have its extensions in marriage, who's to say? The other day someone asked me what my plans are, and whether ill marry and settle there, or work? I simply smiled and gave my now templated answer - 'I don't have a plan, I'll deal with whatever comes my way'.

Cause hell knows, when has life gone according to plan anyway?

13 comments:

v said...

All the best!! It won't be easy but will definitely be worth it! :) Have fun!

:)

PS: come on! tell us where you are going!

Spider42 said...

love that last line, very much how I like to approach life - take it as it comes and let the chips fall where they may.

all the best for your new home and all that goes with it.

cheers..

Ronnie said...

Alllll the very Best S! :)
I am on my way to start something that will end in 'class of 2012' tag too- so 'same pinch!!' :D And hahn, it IS going to be very tough..ekdum heart wrenching at times - but just hold on and never EVER cry on the phone/skype with parents -bawl your heart out to frnds but try not to as much as whimper to parents.

Sorcerer said...

Good luck to you :)
and yeah I liked the last line especially

Life..moves on..we gotta face it ..and play it as it comes.

奕希紋謙 said...
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dipali said...

How utterly and absolutely true. All the best, and seize each day all that it brings you.

ani_aset said...

life is full of experience and this one is gonna be a good one too :) me has been staying away since past 6 years now :)

muthu said...

All the best...

Have a great time ahead..

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snow said...

Hey hey Seren, I come here after ages and looks like you're all set to move someplace, ready with your bags all packed, eh? :) You know it's going to be sometimes bittersweet, sometimes most awesome ride ahead of you, but as long as you keep the people you love close to you, you'll be good. All the best, girl! The world's your oyster, go explore :)

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