Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Its a desi thing. Coming to terms with being a whole new city with different morals and attitudes and adjusting can be difficult; I understand. Trying to adjust, finding a comfortable place with your differing accent, dressing maybe and overall value system, also unnerving I guess.

What I dont understand is being in the age bracket of 25-30 years, in business school carrying age old complexities of an inferiority/superiority complex, judgement issues, masks and an overall intricate web of overlapping masks and alternating behaviour. Shouldnt we all be in that age where we've all proven ourselves, academically and professionally in some ways or the other, to be well settled in our accomplishments and confident in our skin? I have reached a climax of feeling frustrated with the 'desi' junta in my batch. FOB's if you may (fresh off the boat). All of them seem saddled with overwhelming complexes in some form or the other manifesting in various forms such as judging others, a certain amount of concealing of facts, undermining or overstating oneself and most of all - jealousy.

I'm thankful for my upbringing when faced in a situation like this - I compete with myself. I'm well aware that I dont want an IB jor or corp finance like most of the others so competing with them is pointless innit? Talking about completion of homework or constant status of studying in a comparative scale is something I neither have the time nor the inclination to do. Im comfortable enough to have worn a churidar kurta to school on a few occasions when there was no special day (and gotten a lot of compliments!!), comfortable enough not to roll my r's since I dont anyway, admit that this was my first Halloween and ask questions about traditions and customs here in the US without pretending Ive lived here forever Cause I HAVENT!

Im finally at a crescendo of wanting to not associate with such narrow minded intensely competitive set of people, Im here to make friends, have fun, study, work and open my mind to new perspectives NOT to carry with me all the petty ridiculousness that I left behind when I was 20. No Offence to anyone, but Im just too busy making the most of every day of these two years of my life that I JUST.DONT.HAVE.TIME.FOR.BULLSHIT.

Being pretty good at ignoring people I dont like being one of the things I do well, I succeed decently in this effort, but then there are days, like today. Things so miniscule that my blog would be mad at me if I ranted about them. This mood certainly wasnt good at the botched attempt at Palak daal, and aaloo sabji. Luckily I have an Oreo cookie chocolate chip whipped cream frosted cupcake to cheer me up. AH. just the thing!


Scarlett said...

Hey, cheer up. I've been thru' all of this & know just what you mean. And I suggest you do what I did - just go with the flow. If hanging out w/ narrow minded desis doesn't work for you, then don't. And more importantly, don't feel guilty about it. You don't owe anyone anything. Focus on Americans and other internationals. That's the point of going to the US to study anyway. If you had to hang around w/ desis, you could've done so in India as well and saved a hell lot of time, money & energy in the process.

Aditya said...

Everything the red lady said. Literally everything.

My group at university was: Two Brits, two Chinese, three Indians, a Frenchman, a Spanish/English mix, a Spaniard, a German/Mexican mix, a German, a Greek-Portuguese-Canadian and a Canadian.

Best time ever.

The Bride said...

My sis went through the same thing when she went to grad school in the US. Try dating an American guy and see how the desis react :)

Tamanna said...

Loved how you and Scarlett put it.

ani_aset said...

>:D< you are doing pretty good :D

Anil P said...

Like with food, I suppose being oneself too is an acquired taste, not something that might come naturally, but something one might need to work at.

To most it isn't easy :-)

Ne said...

well, judging comes naturally the average indian unless one adopts the live and let live motto.The sad thing is, not many do. Wait till you start working! I don't mean to sound a spoilsport, but this is just the beginning! I can't help commenting here since I've been through the same thing and know exactly how it is. Just focus on the types who will be your friends irrespective of where they come from..

Jayanthi said...

I have had a fair share of instances with desi log here as well.I can absolutely understand how you feel and i concur with your opinions.It's a saddening to see the extent to which competition can push people.Life is too short to hang out with cynical,narrow-minded jerks as you said just "ignore them" and make the most out of your stay here :-)