All I do is miss you, and the way we used to be.

I'm beginning to understand why people get 'boring' as they get older. Why butterflies in the stomach 'used to be' that feeling you knew, why it gets harder as time flies by. It was a strange, startling discovery when a song played in the background yesterday - Romeo and Juliet by Dire straits. One of my favorites.. Ive been humming it ever since.

I'm a music person - I had a song for every mood - mellow, happy, sad, sad-sad, happy-sad, melancholy, in love, heartbreak, make up, break up, aloof, spaced out.... I had one playing in my mind everyday and that song defined my mood. I remember this week that "Bittersweet symphony" was the song in my mind and I went about the week feeling randomly disjoint and pieced apart. This other time Boulevard of broken dreams was playing on my mind and I had a nasty few days since it reminded me of a friend whose no more. And it was his favorite song. Hungry eyes was that song I danced to. You get my drift.

Today on my way to work in the cab, I realized how the music in my life has been replaced. Slowly, without realizing the transformation I was talking to myself each day - debating the outcome of my day, the presentation I am supposed to make, that conversation I had last night, the emails I need to reply to, where my relationship is going, what Im going to write in my application essays... its all getting thought without a background score in place.

It was after that I hooked up my laptop and played back some of my favorite music - Mark Knofler, Coldplay, maroon 5, floyd... its safe to say that the state Im in currently could be called "on a trip" or "spaced out" or some other such vaguely intense definition.

Each song hides moments, memories - nestled in the notes, the lyrics. Its like Mark Knofler said "All i do is kiss you - through the bars of a rhyme". I've hidden so many stolen moments, kisses, glances, rides, tears, fears in the folds of so many songs... and discovering them sometimes by accident is just a delicious tingle - a feeling so infinite, of being able to travel time and 'relive'.

Moments have a way of shrinking when put into words - but they magnify when romanced with music. making love, out of nothing at all.

Here's to a homecoming - to my favorite boys - Dave Matthews band , Dire Straits , maroon 5, coldplay, Neil Diamond, Randy travis, Richard Clayderman, and my girlies - Norah Jones, Alanis and Tracy.

The Song I'd dedicate right now? 1992 Serendipity - Forever and Ever, Amen. Randy Travis. (click link for song)

Cats the way we like it?

Theres a new radio station on air. Its Mumbai's only 'Women only' channel. Err... women only channel? Do they not have male RJ's? Do men not tune in? Its called (wonder of wonders) 'Meow'.

Why Meow? Why women only? Not only did i find the idea ridiculous, but on tuning in, the channel itself is a waste of time. The discussions range from (hold your breath) 'Boyfriends' to 'Why Men are such fools' to (gasp) 'What women really want'.

The next step in progressing would possibly be discussing the 'Recipe for the week' sent in by an avid Meow listener im guessing. What a breakthrough in strategy . The channel clearly differentiates itself, carving a niche no one can (and will) dare enter - complete foolishness.

I wonder how i could forget to mention the traditional 'hello' being replaced by the (wow again) 'Meow'. it goes like this 'Hello abc, Meeeoow' and abc has to oblige with a 'Meeow' back. YIKES.

Someone explain to the world that we dont want womenhood celebrated in this way. We dont like cats, we dont like saying 'Meow' instead of hi, and we CERTAINLY dont like wasting time discussing boyfriend issues which for one, will ALWAYS be around. Men will always be Men and there will always be subsequent problems. :) Besides there are enough shows on the tele discussing these!

What we want instead, is an equal platform. Recognition. Gratification (from egoistic male boors who would rather die than admit it) for being the powerful assertive and rational beings that we are. Gifts, for being put through the confusion that surrounds male lives and having to help them deal with it. [Someone made on movie on 'what women want', why dint they just ASK]

A women only channel that calls itself 'Meow' is just moving in the reverse direction. I figured the COO is definitely male. [NO OFFENSE INTENDED] Its just validation of my initial guess.

The below excerpt from here.

Explaining the brand name Radio Today COO Anil Srivatsa said, "Meow embodies the attributes of a woman, where she can be all by herself. It symbolises spirituality, sensuality, professionalism. It is more than a cat call as everyone initially perceives. The cat is much more feminine, clean and free in itself. The various moods of a woman is explained. When somebody says meow four times, he can't help laughing. "

Really???? Thats how the womans mood is being explained??!!

Its no coincidence (Im guessing) that the channel is based on a 'On the air' host format rather than rather than 'jockeys' who host music programming. Since women love to talk?

I miss the midnight shift with Glen and the accompanying jingle 'I knoww your gonnaa diggg thiss!'

Forever and ever, Amen

Now playing : Dancing on a ceiling (Lionel Richie)
Today i had an intensely happy moment. The kind that makes you feel soo happy inside, it made me well up and not have words to elaborate it here.

There are some songs, I realize, that hide away certain memories for you - that when u play them back, you can just magically disappear into that long forgotten moment for a while. Songs like Forever and Ever, I told you so ..Randy Travis, Lionel Richie etc are so reminiscent of my childhood.

Today i downloaded the songs mentioned above and rushed into my parents room and called Daddy into my room, and played one of his fav songs for him. It took him all of 5 seconds to realize what song it was, and this immense smile overtook all other expressions on his face.... it was this surprise old feeling for him. Those 2 minutes when we both were listening to the song, we both that strange, melancholic smiles - he too, was revisiting.

How do i even say it? 12 years ago, more actually...this same father daughter have heard these very songs played from a Hitachi 2 in 1 from cassettes that are long lost. Daddy would have a book with him, lying down with a beer on the table next to the bed, and I not to be outdone would be with my 'grown up' book of Enid Blyton etc, sleeping with my head on his stomach reading and listening to the music.

Daddy would smell of Brut, and have that typical defence hair cut and demeanour, well built arms and a staunch, principled stagger. Everything he did, I admired. The music he loved, I loved. I have many of his characteristics now, just like i hoped i would. Save for the dimple... the darn dimple i tired sooo hard to get. He's strong willed but soft hearted, aggressive but naive, principled and staunch, classy but homely, firm and steadfast in his beliefs and dreams and acheiving them.

In my teens i found myself growing more and more towards my mother and more and more away from daddy. My mom became my point of contact 'where are you, wat time are you coming home etc'. However Daddy came into the picture when an unknown boy called home. Let me just say this, for those who called back, Thank you. :)

Just before he left my room, he told me a few more songs he'd love if i 'get somewhere from the internet' ....quick kiss on my forehead and he went back to his room.

And just like that, for that brief moment I was Daddy's girl again.