Absentmindedness of the week

• Walked into a mens restroom at work, and told the guy who entered that he was in the ladies


• Transferred my clothes from the washer to ANOTHER washer thinking it was a dryer starting a wash cycle, and then an hour later starting the WASH cycle AGAIN thinking the dryer wasnt working. Also, this was entered in the complaint book stating non compliance of dryer - and I ran 3 wash cycles before realizing it was A BLOODY washer.


• At work - A colleague BOUGHT lunch because I thought the meeting we were headed to was brown bag. It was catered.

I cant deny it ANYMORE. I am absent minded as HELL.

Making chapattis, one shape at a time.

Yes, me.

My mom and maid are out of town and Im left at home with a 17 yr old brother and a dad. OH BOY. Bulls in a china shop is a better expression for how they are at managing their own chores. My dad does chip in his bit, by switching his (6.30 a.m) morning cup of tea with plain milk (phew) so I dont have to drag my half asleep self to make chai at unearthly times.

This does however enable my smartass-just-finding-his-sense-of-humour brother to come up with a few gems like "I wont do any of the girly stuff" (when I asked him to list how he will chip in with the work) by girly he of course meant cooking cleaning washing ironing. That effectively left me with the only logical manly thing I thought he'd do. eat. sleep. shit. (did this blog just turn PG13?)

There was also the "Fine. Ill do the kitchen stuff" When asked exactly WHAT he meant by that considering I am fully aware of his cooking prowess, he replied he'd make breakfast for us. It deserves an applause, certainly. UNLESS of course he serves us chocos and milk. Which he did. Which I had to un-serve and replace with chai, bread and egg. (Am I complaining already?).

To top it off, sunday evening I came home to find the two men in the kitchen, making chapattis (more like parathas). Obviously they were fat and burned and the kitchen window was closed which made the kitchen smoke up. The thought was all cute and captured on camera but 2 parathas down when I insisted on cooking myself and had to clean up their mess first, I realized they do me a favor by staying out of the kitchen. GAH.

I have new found respect for women who manage jobs, homes and men. I never realized how difficult it actually is. I am used to doing a lot of my own work, and am a bit of a monica in terms of ordering stuff, cleanliness and the like, but managing a house is a different ball game.

Here, my perfectly round, wonderful chapatis deserve a mention. Seasoned cooks like my mother took years to perfect the art of roti making - one which I have pursued relentlessly and now am perfect at. 3 points to me! Now if only the triangular parathas I was making wouldve turned out right. Ah well, one shape at a time.

And yes, this is a post after a really long time. Feel strange, having drifted away from your own blog. Although I have blog post conversations in my mind each day, they dont translate. But this is a step in the posting more often direction cause this is something I want to stubbornly hang onto. So hello again :)

Mc Dreamy? More like Mc Dorky

I spent a few minutes trying to caption the title of this post appropriately. However, there seems no word to describe this feeling of insignificant little bittersweet teeny-tiny victory, this slightly nasty, very glorious, surprising exciting feeling.

There just isnt a word to describe how you feel when you see a boy you had a big crush on as a kid, a boy who you thought you will end up marrying (but did'nt of course because you well err umm, never spoke) GO BALD!!!

This is sweeter because this boy never spoke with you much because you were too much of a tomboy and beat him at basketball and flirted with that little punt in the mini.

I feel like prancing about in all my hotness and saying TAKE THAT :D

Boy, it feels good to be a little naughty sometimes.

Its easy to tell the months I had the most work from the frequency of blog posts, in inverse proportion. More the work --> fewer the blog posts. A cursory glance at the archives now tells me that last time this year, work began dwindling slowly, but surely, reaching an all time low nearing the first quarter of the year (J-F-M) and slowly building up again. August has been the busiest month so far, apparently. Well, I can credit that to the exam that I took which completely devoured my waking hours.

Right now is a strange state of existence. Euphoric markets, Burgeoning Gold prices and the overall positivity in a revival has overtaken the conservative and cynical mindset that had crept in. Good news is everywhere, the unemployment level in the US, where it all started is looking up, growth ratios are rising and inflation is finally over the negative level. Now is the turn of the people who missed the bus to lament. I'm already hearing the 'Damn, I shouldve invested in the stock market in March (it was at 8,000 - the lowest since the last few years)' or 'I should've looked at buying a house the rates are bound to increase at some point' (they already have). Shoulda coulda woulda.

It started with the optimists who had invested at 21k levels going near bankrupt, then came the smart Alec's who stocked up even at 8k levels and didn't let market sentiment cloud their judgement, and now finally the last kind, the "I shoulda's". I'm of the opinion that weigh the pros and cons one must, but at the end of the day also have a heart for a little win-lose situation, else it is better to stick to safer (low return) investments for the faint hearted.

Citing my own example, I took a huge risk by investing a significant amount of money right before counting day [declaration of elections]- a decision that was critiqued by many. However given that I had a balanced portfolio with a backup safety net well in place, I went ahead and took the risk. Turned out well in my favor (sensex has grown 5000 points since) but I can see the difference in the way I'm handling my account. The initial boldness, the quick decisions and snap actions have given way to reserved deliberation, more informed decisions and a more thought out strategy.

I wonder whats in store, some people assure me a correction is on its way. Book profits now and buy again on dips, I'm told. But then again, this coming from the same people who told me to wait till after the election results since the sensex tanking was but a certainty then. Others say the only way now is UP. Buy and Hold is their mantra. I, on the other hand am caught on a fence between both. I'm not a fan of getting caught up in short lived market sentiment and riding the wave of exhilaration unless its backed by strong fundamentals fueling the growth, and neither a fan of being far too conservative and losing the opportunity in the process.

I'm a DIY (Do -it-yourself) girl. I've navigated investments and the unknown territories of life with enthusiastic fervour and optimistic anticipation. I've taken responsibilities for my mistakes and (more than enough) credit for my good decisions (which is to say I've relentless made sure they remain top-of-mind among my people). I've pored over my ITR's and understood long and short forms in my account documents. I enjoy the complete command over my finances and personal life, both. Which is why you can imagine how unsettled I feel when I'm unsure what to do.

You'd think one would get enough of losing one phone a year. And then for some reason, you feel the need to outdo your expectations and lose another one. In-less-than-a-year. Although there were near-misses many times in the past year. Remember this guide? Turns out, it doesn't work if you drop your phone in a parking lot. (Who would've thought eh?)

I've come to believe that I need to staple my belongings on my person in order to retain them. How else can I explain losing the one item i check for furiously every fifteen mins in a wildly neurotic fashion? Incredibly upset doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right about now.

Every time I figure out a way of making sure I don't lose it in a moving vehicle or a restaurant, a new explored territory (e.g. parking lot) takes me by surprise, or the item rotates (remember this?) Among the many mysteries that engulf my everyday life are why I'm insistent on losing important, expensive and impossible to recover things. Why cant I just lose simple things like hair clips and pens. (Err No, wait scrap that, I do those already).

After reading this, I can no longer claim to be 'fairly responsible', and the boy has taken it upon himself as one of his key 'to-do' things to remind me of every few hours (minutes). I'm still trying to figure out suitable come-backs as currently, I have nothing that can fly. Any help in this department will be greatly appreciated via honourable mentions on blog and oodles and oodles of free publicity and increased blog hits. (I'll tell all 4 people who read this blog to visit yours).

To add to my already morose mood, Patrick Swazye passed away. He was one of my first crushes (Not counting Nick Carter of the backstreet boys uggh) and had a goosebumps inducing, flip-flop stimulating, voice and smile. The scene where he runs his finger down her hand? Can picture it with my eyes open. Patrick, for being the first man who made me want to dance with a boy *like that* and for being a complete dreamboat, You will be missed.

The Fugly Truth

Watch this. For a Fun filled 2 hours something and an inside on what Kaminas Men actually are (Read: Pretend to be).

Having been movie-less for the past two months on account of an extremely packed schedule, I finally broke the monotony with a regrettable experience watching Life Partner which frustrated me even more than I was to begin with. Enough said.

The Ugly truth caters to both sexes. For the Men, it serves a generous sprinkling of sexist jokes mostly all referring to the fact that Men like two things in a woman (I leave this to your imagination, though I will hint that they're both referring to two very prominent features of a woman's anatomy) lol. Gerard Butler pulls off being a typical Male Chauvinist with the arrogance of a suave Ladies man with a side order of adoring Uncle. A typical girls fantasy - A Bad guy gone good :D I know I DIG the kind.

For the ladies, there are generous doses of Eric Winters and Gerard Butler who fit into the Rom-com mode fantastically, though for me, he'll always be King Leonidas. (h-a-w-t). Katherine Heigl fits the role perfectly, a causal sexy smart and sophisticated virginal woman. Her metamorphosis into a more out-there sexy and Gerard Butlers tips for attracting men are a riot. 'Women should have longer hair', he says, 'since men like to have something to hold onto other than a woman's arse'. The movie is full of gems of wisdom such as this.

I think most women would identify with Katherine's character - the ones who believe the right guy is out there. Most men would also identify with Gerard - the ones who believe that Lust is easier to obtain than Love and also not so hard on the knees. But most of all, we all identify with the dilemma, of being completely swept away by what your feeling, when you least expected it.
Yes, the truth as Gerard finds out, is really out there. And sometimes, its pretty. Very pretty.

Money, I blew up the kids

After kicking myself for not having entered the jig when the market was at the 8k mark, I finally (phew) made my entry into the big bad world of the stock market. 9th May 2009, you'll be a day Ill fondly remember.


As is with most events in my life, this foray was accompanied by much trademark-serendipity excitement. I had shortlisted two longterm shares and two highly volatile traders shares. Very excitedly dialed the ICICI Direct phone banking number, selected the required option in the IVR and called slightly nervously to place my first ever 'buy order'.

Of course, nothing in my life gets accomplished without initial glitches and a lot of back and forth. Two phone calls, two log ins later, equipped with my account number and access code which I had to source and generate from my online account, information which was given to me sequentially as opposed to simultaneously (which would have obviously saved me time AND effort, but no. Im not that lucky), I heard the magic words 'Order executed'

And so the deal was done. Beginners luck meant that on friday, the day I actually purchased the share, the sensex dipped below 12k levels, which meant that I got really good deals already. Since then Ive followed up with many a transaction until I finally realised Ive put in a good chunk of money and now need to hang on and play around with what I have.

Since then Im given to refreshing the rediff page at a frequency proportional to the amount of times I tie and untie my hair (which if u know me, is a LOT). Its FUN to watch the net gain (and loss) each day, to understand market sentiments, interesting to learn how to evaluate whether a stock is good and other gyaan which Im fast catching onto. People sitting around me at work are renaming me the new go-to guru of the stocks given that my screen which earlier had multiple blog pages open now has only stock related articles and pages open. My name is now being replaced by other monikers of the stock market.

My first phone call after the first order was to Dad. Who congratulated me and promptly asked me which sectors, companies and who my broker was. I felt fantastic giving him accurate information regarding the investments, and finally about the fact that Im doing my own research and transactions, the middle man of course being the guy at ICICI Direct who executes the transaction. Whoever said women are bad at finance please step forward, so I may have a word with you.

Mistakes are of course, a part of this game. You win some, you lose some. Unfortunately having invested lump sums in MF's when the sensex was at 21k levels means Ive begun on a losing note anyway both MF's showing annual returns of - 32% :\ BAH and double BAH.

If anyones reading this, and a novice like me, here are a few tips.

• This is THE best time to invest. A lot of Stocks are just at or slightly above their rock bottom and therefore affordable.
• The Sensex crossed over to 12k in the last two months. People smart enough to have invested a few months ago have made a fortune already. (given the right choices etc)
• The most money is made and returns achieved in a bearish market as opposed to bullish contrary to popular opinion.
• You need a DEMAT account. Just call a broking house (ICICI Direct/Reliance Money/HDFC) or your broker and complete the formalities
• Broking charges are nothing daunting, approx 70paise per 100 rs of transaction. This could vary, but nominal charges is what I'm trying to get at.
• Diversify your portfolio. Don't buy stocks of more then 2 companies in the same sector.
• Keep an eye on Government controlled sectors, since a change in Govt and policies could affect the entire sector.
• Don't borrow ANY money to invest in stocks. Invest only what you can afford to. My thumb rule is that even if I Lose all of it, I should not be bankrupt. In other words, make sure you have some good ole safe options giving 8.5% returns. PPF, VPF Zindabaad.
• Stay away from Derivatives unless you have sound knowledge and resources to do so. Higher the returns, higher the risk.
• If you don't have a good risk appetite, but looking for higher returns anyway, then invest in Mutual funds, but ensure that it is an SIP (systematic investment plan) which will average out cost of units when the market shows a steep incline/decline which would be a good buffer. I learnt this the hard way :( Equity Linked Saving schemes are also tax saving so you could claim this during tax calculations.

Now Get out there!

Making a beeline for the exit

Last evening I took to dining at a nearby fancy 7 star restaurant with a friend I haven't met in ages. We decided on dinner after work, and I very pompously selected the venue - a highly recommended mucho expensive place, an aside from my other favorites. The price of the Buffet at Hornby's (1200 per person) did not deter me since I am a woman of the world, with fine refined taste, a certified epicure, and err I had discount coupons. :) thanks to her.!

Owing to the fact that Ive just moved homes, and this building is completely new, some parts of it still under construction, its a given that its dusty as hell. Which means that the car gathers dust as though its mileage depends on it. Dad being a stickler for cleanliness, our car is used to be spanking squeaky clean, but even he's given up temporarily in this current state of affairs.
Having conveniently forgotten this, I left home, dressed for dinner go down to the garage and stand faced with the dustiest I have EVER seen my car. Since G was already waiting for me, I had no choice but to ignore the dust and two bird poos and drive.

I felt as though even my car was feeling embarrassed to be brought out in this state, as though each person on the street wants to offer to just dust it a bit. Bird poo was of course, strategically placed such that If i were to start the water and just run my wiper over the screen, it would effectively be smattered all over my windscreen as opposed to just in one corner. I made it somehow and picked G up, apologising profusely for being slightly late, while explaining all the reasons (that were not in my control and neither my fault) that conspired against me being on time.

We then drove into the lobby of the Hotel, where I resumed feeling mortified and disconcerted driving such an unkempt car. It didn't help that there was a grand wedding in the hotel on that day and mighty grand cars were pulling in to the valet. G and I of course took to trying to laugh off the situation in our aloof style hoping the valet isn't too embarrassed to park the car.

Of course, Me being the confident woman of the world, unruffled by these mundane occurrences in life type woman, shrugged this off and had my haughty look on as I exited.
That and loudly exclaiming 'Oh dear, I cant believe the car got this dusty' en route entrance. Bas.

We finally moved past the current state of embarrassment and proceeded towards dinner. The Buffet is SO good, that one ought to fast for a few days and devour all the goodies on the menu. Trust me, that extra kg after this meal can be worked off.

When we got our first course, the extremely polite waiter approached our table and asked if we would like some drinks. He ordered Beer and I nothing, since my appetite generally diminishes by intake of drinks, soups and such. He then proceeded to recite the list of all possible tempting options I could have, Mock tails, beer, a glass of wine maybe. To which I still declined. 'I don't want to kill my appetite' I said.

As I watched him saunter over to the Maitre'D, them possibly discussing my non drink policy, they mustve arrived at a suitable conclusion for my negative response.

"Madam, the drink is included in the cost of the Buffet" he said with a large accommodating smile.

I of course declined once again. And what did they think I wasn't ordering cause I was thinking of paying the extra price? I exclaimed to G. To which, his usual cheeky male response was -

'Maybe he saw your car'
:\

Serendipitys guide "To find your cellphone 17 times a day"

But, First. A quick-fix guide on 'How to NOT lose your cellphone 17 times a day'

• Do not buy Large Mucho Fashionable Tote/Shoulder Bag. (For practical purposes, Henceforth referred to as the LMFTS Bag.)
• After blatant and unabashed ignorance of above point, Do not stuff Large Mucho Fashionable Bag with unnecessary equipment, accesories, cosmetics, osculation enhancers and food items.
• Do NOT confuse LMFTS Bag with bag required for backpacking trip across Europe, unless you could take off any minute and want to be prepared nonetheless.
• Must buy LMFTS Bags only with pseudo mobile holding appartus-like pocket.
• Place mobile phone in the appropriate pseudo mobile holding pocket each time after use.
• Bookmark in imaginary post-it in your head that mobile has been deposited in required pocket.
• Prior to exit of office/recreational place/vehicle, check the presence of aforementioned device in ear-marked territory.

Now. The Quick-fix Guide to finding your cellphone.

• Upon exit of most (Read: ALL) places/vehicles (specially public transport) without checking for darn phone in place, scramble about bag hurriedly whilst still on shoulder, break into sweat as the possibility of having lost the phone dawns upon you, switch suitably between looks of slight anxiousness to medium apprehension to outright agony over alleged loss of device.
• Proceed to haphazardly empty contents of LMFST Bag, balancing contents in teeth, under arm, etc, whilst still heroically proceeding with the search.
• Plea with then exasperated friend to give you a missed call.
• The LMFST Bag vibrates to life, and your heartbeat slowly, but surely regains its steady pace.
• Thank life-saving, phone finding, missed-call giving friend profusely.

Repeat Process 17 times a day.

And dont ask me how the above process was invented.

:/

19th Nov. Did you know?

I was a tad miffed since last week, when women's day was celebrated with much grandeur. Amidst centre page folds of articles luring us to go shop till we drop, book tickets, massages, month long slimming packages at half prices and other luxurious (un)necessities because apparently we deserved them.

I take a break, Ladies and Gentlemen from my usual male bashing, to raise a toast. To our other halves. The one's which don't have a BIG celebratory day. The one's that deserve one. The key peg to most women's day articles is that 'we deserve it' because 'She's a mother, sister, wife, daughter, homemaker, etc rolled into one' While I don't deny this, and am in complete awe of working women in Mumbai, and across the world really, who juggle careers and kids with equal aplomb, and even women who give up flourishing careers for their family, I do think that it isn't quite fair.

After all for every female relationship/responsibility there is a Male Equivalent isn't there? They're Fathers and brothers, sons, Chief wage earners (in most cases), Husbands...too! Sometimes I feel as though Women's day is just a blatant discrimination, a declaration of being the fairer and weaker sex, one that needs to be reminded of how special and wonderful she is and appreciated time and again.

International Men's day, (title of post) comes and goes without much of a mention. How many reading this even know the date, before clicking on the link above? This day remains largely unnoticed, While its counterpart, the women's day has metamorphosed into a somewhat valentines day like affair. Why do we celebrate it again? Seems to me that we have a day for ALMOST every relation Man has ever coined. Lets see now. Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Teachers, Bosses, (Grandmothers and Grandfathers fall in the existent Mothers and Father days), Uncle and Aunt days , PHEW. We ought to club them ALL together, and label is Humans day or some generic term like that.

Moving on from labeling days, I was reading a very amusing post on PMS and how only men seem to be the secondary afflicted victims. Women being the primary victims of course. While I do agree that those days are indeed terrible, and I would PAY a man to endure them, wax, thread various inconspicuous corners of ones body, it is indeed alarming that we do inflict our ghastly mood and consequent PMS related tantrums and emotional vacillations more so on men. Do you remember being nasty to your girl-friend? Or Mother? Nah, its the boyfriends/Husbands that get it. (and HOW). God forbid they reach ten mins later than decided time or agree that you do look like you've piled on a few pounds. My most sincere wishes are with the poor fools who do.

This is therefore, a toast. To the men in our lives, who withstand our hormonal mood swings, neurotic demands, incessant questions, bad hair days, bad shoe days, bad any days, broken nail days, upset over nothing but still deserve sympathy days, and still manage to infuse a semblance of rationality, peace and stability in our lives. Dad, I don't know how you manage being the only man in the house when Lil brothers away. I can barely live with myself. Your living with almost two of me.

For the big, protective and all empowering, re-strengthening hugs, and the untiring thankless providing for, celebrating our successes, for a steady calm voice in the most tumultuous of circumstances, and dropping us home however late it is (and however far you stay), pretending your interested in knowing the difference between a halter and a tube, and obliging us by watching a chick flick just because we spend lots of time making cute faces. This is to Daddy, my brother, and all my friends- from engineering, my first and second workplace. Most of whom don't have my blog link, but hope, know how much they mean to me. You guys, are truly inspiring.
Disclaimer - No man has paid me to write this. Im still on our side. Just taking a break.

Weight for me?

I really need to get down to it. Working out again i.e. The question is HOW? The Gym i worked out with for 3 years, has gone and gotten itself a new swanky avatar - a new name (5), a new location, and additional activities (A Plush Swimming pool among others).

Sounds good so far. My gym fee used to be about 15 grand (inclusive of taxes) for the year until the last year. I didn't renew gym when my membership expired cause I would've been getting married and moving. (note - missed the offer of a yr membership @ Rs. 18,000). To further note that I am one of those people who -

• Is not only a foodie, BUT
• Puts on weight like its in fashion AND
• Eats when shes upset/angry etc.

This cant be good.

Moving onto the Renewing Business. I acknowledged my wanting-to-get-back-to-gym-and-get-ass-kicked hence called up gym to inquire about new rates.

Me: "Hi, I'm (Insert Real life name), wanted to inquire about your new gym rates, wanted to renew my membership."

Guy (Major smile beaming through phone voice): "Sure Ma'am - The yearly fee is Rs. 27, 555. Would you like us to come by and pick up your payment?"

Me: (Gulps) "27, 555? Inclusive of tax (12.36%)?"

G: (Less smilingly):" Taxes extra"

Me: (Slow sinking cant-afford-it-feeling coupled with quick 27555*.1236 calculation) "What about off peak hours?"

G: (Shes not gonna join voice):"Ma'am we've discontinued the off peak hour rates. We now have a standard fee. This entitles you to use the swimming pool, steam, sauna all for free (FREE, REALLY? wtf am i paying 30 grand for then?)"

Me: (Desperately): "Ive been a member for three years! Cant i get a discount? Is Shahzad (the Manager last I went). Can you please check"

G: (Stop wasting my time voice), (Two minute pause) :" Ma'am we can give you a five percent discount on the total cost"

Me: (mentally calculating 27,555 - 0.05*27,555 = f*ckloads of money): "All right let me call you back shortly"

By now im quite upset and pretty sure I wont be able to join cos shelling out close to 30 G for gym just wasn't happening. My middle class upbringing forbids me from splurging that money although it sits pretty in account, could be put to better use. Anyway, to further (and then end) the conversation.

G: "Ma'am if you were to ask me, our best scheme and most economical one for you is the three year package. Only 69, 555 for three years."

Me: (in my mind) "Shut up"

Me: (Out Loud) :" Ok great, ill have to call you back". (open a send-me-to-gym foundation, gather funds and then)

Now, considering I gymmed with them for three years, its a given that my name and number are in the database. No sooner did I hang up with Euphoria-now-5 guy, i get the sms below -

"Members are requested to bring their own swimming pool caps while availing facilities. The new and improved 5 also has something something for your all round fitness regime."

YARGH.

Anway, Coming back to square one. Needing to get down to it. Must start deadlining. And weight losing. Let me start with 3 Kgs. By end Feb? Anyone wanting to be mentor and shouting at me end Feb if this deadline is not met, feel free. To note I will make sad face and get away so please to be hardass. Volunteers?

We're easy to ge along with ... once men just learn to worship us :)

The problem about most blog posts is - how do I start?! The general content of the post is known since it would be about a recent conversation, the weekend revelry or the likes. lol.

Offlate, for some reason, Ive landed up having the unanswerable question type conversation - 'What do woman want?!'. A lot of perplexed (male) friends are at their wits end since they've tried every trick in the book - been every kind of guy. Mr Naughty but nice, Mr Sweet but not so sweet, Mr sickly goodygoody, Mr never-fallin-love playerboy, Mr calculated moves, Mr commitment phobic, Mr lets-get-married, Mr anyone-will-do, Mr Ill-be-nice-to-get-into-your-pants, Mr Im-confused-about-my-feelings, ETC. You get my drift, Im sure.

So what do we want anyway? Half the world seems to be obsessed with the question. Its not that difficult, really.

First of all, its not a game, women are not dolls and if she likes you, its not checkmate, or a homerun. Women dont want guys who are 'playing' them, and calculating every move. Who we're more likely to fall in love with are men who simply fall head over heels with us, with no logic and reasoning whatsoever. This isnt something you can practice - so dont try.

Its in the little things - blowing on coffee and making it cooler, a flirtatious little smile or wink here and there, having that look in your eye, remembering what we like to eat, our favorite colour, insisting on paying sometimes... Since im not going in order of importance, one critical piece of information - Each woman wants to feel sexy, and beautiful to someone. No matter if shes ugly, short, fat, pimpled, too tall, too fair, she wants to feel pretty. Women of all ages, take a look in the mirror before they leave, powder their nose, put on that little makeup, wait in anticipation for that one tiny compliment from that special someone... its one of those things. Of course, not to mistake this by thinking 'All women dress up for men', because they DONT. The ones that have a boyfriend, husband, etc (err) DO (secretly or not). Then there are ones that wont admit it. But in the end, if shes looking pretty, TELL her! Men simply go wrong in calculating too much - every move, every sms.

A certain vulnerablity in unplanned feelings is endearing. Most of them also wait for the woman of their dreams, and often the one theyll never get over to move on to another guy before they realize ' shit i love her'.

We like the man BEING the man - insist on footing the bill sometimes (3 out of 5 would be a good ratio), buy an occasional flower, be well turned out and snappy when taking us out to dinner. Women LOVE men who take care of their physique, and pay a little extra attention to detail like - smelling great, wearing good footwear, neatly ironed clothes (I know this sounds like a lot to ask for from MOST men) But there are certain exceptions :) and im sure at least one reading this knows who he is.

More than what an average joe can accomplish has been put down here, so lets try slowly, one at a time. And then maybe we women can live happily ever after.

I am what I am. And what I am, is careless.

After years of walking repeatedly into furniture, doors, tripping on flat surfaces, losing and misplacing things, having various other atrocities happen to hands and feet, I have come to the (un)happy conclusion that I am careless. This after a whole lot of denial and 'that was a phase', 'that was an accident', 'this wasnt my fault' and so on.

I (think) I have lost my swipe card today. (the access card for work). This comes close on the heels of me having lost my debit card 3 weeks ago. It was my good fortune that the person who found it was either an honest person who did not use it, or a foolish person who did not know how to use it. What worried me was the realization of the lost card came a whole 3-4 days after the last time I used it. (Of course, there was a reason - there always is. New wallet, money section separate from card section, cant see cards each ime i open hence didnt notice it).

That said, I got a lot of flak from people at work over my carelessness, some of which I deserved. I prided myself over being a fairly responsible person (when it comes to important things), but this is just questioning my belief . Major upheaval of one self is in order no?

One of my most famous moves is tripping on flat land. Its a patent. There is also a testimonial on orkut imploring to enrich the quality of my life by at least making an effort to tryyy not to walk into things, or have them run into me. :) But, then I was sent only like this. Defective, prone to mishaps, careless, restless blush monster.

Still still still, I cant go around losing my debit cards and swipe cards and other such important cards around like its part of my natural disposition to do so. (it is, btw). But this is a vow. a very solemn one that Im going to give this responsible, organised, documented person bit a very good shot. And this starts now. Cause one of my other great strengths is procastination. But that's another story :)

Wants, Needs and all the unnecesary accompanied reasons

I need shoes. Here are the top reasons why. (Let it be known that there are more, however in view of consumption of blogspace and saving of bullet points etc, I shall jot down only the most important ones).

1. Because i have only 2 pairs of stilettos now and one of them is really old.
2. I recently bought 2 really cute pairs of shorts and other than sneakers, have no other shoes that will GO.
3. In the last 3 weeks, two pairs of work flats BROKE. and I got only 1 replacement.
4. The stilettos at Nine west Called out to me
5. Ive always wanted a pair of really cool to-die-for Puma's. And if a guy friend validates that a pair of shoes is nice, imagine HOW NICE they must actually be!
6. I dreamt i owned the shoes in question
7. They're not shoes, they're a whole new me.
8. Because Rainy season's here and we ought to celebrate no?
9. The Ash moved to Kol and I no longer have anyone who convinces me into buying shoes i dont need. I mean i need.
10. Because ballet shoes look terrific on my feet. They told me.
11. Im a shoes and bags person. Also watches, perfumes and clothes. Which indicates i should be buying these things in quantities more than the average woman else i would be defying the definition. I wouldnt want to defy the definition now would I?
12. Its the 4th of June
13. After looking at these I had sweet sweet dreams.
14. My toes will be painted this weekend and deserve pretty shoes.

Good judgement and logic generally accompany most decisions. Hence i also made a list of why i should NOT BUY new shoes.

1. I am slightly broke.
2. errrr

Argghh. Why couldnt I have been born a guy. I would've owned a pair each of the following shoes in the following colours.

1. Black work shoes
2. Sneakers in Black, white or blue
3. Chappals in a colour that doesnt matter cos theyre chappals.

Rajasthan Royals all the way!

As a rule, I land up supporting the Underdog. And this was no exception - Rajasthan Royals was defninitely the poorest team, with no coach and the only stars to boast of being Shane Warne battling personal problems and looking for redemption, and Graeme Smith.

They had no coach, no Icon as the Indian captain, no real crowd support, no big budgets for advertising and marketing, in fact, they had nothing to lose. Thats what the had going for them.

I LOVED the team spirit, the sheer determination, and never say die attitude that the team displayed. Had they lost yesterday, they had won our hearts anyway...really. Had we even heard of a Swapnil Asnodkar before this? This little guy, all of five foot somethign has held his nerves and undauntedly hit the best of the best for big overs. Niraj Jadeja, who looks more like he ought to be chilling at Barista with his teeny bopper friends had a MAGNIFICENT 69 run (6th wicket) parternship which won them a crucial match.

Each player came into his own in this team, each player found a niche and was supported by his team mates in executing it best. Words fail me in trying to express how proud I feel about a team full of youngsters who have shown so much maturity, so much calm and defeated the 'Icons' of this game - None of our four Icons Tendulkar, Ganguly, Dravid or Sehwag made their mark, faltering in strategy, teamwork, and at times in form altogether. With all the advantages these teams had, they went nowhere.

Have developed new found respect for Shane Warne...images of him patting Shane Watsons back after he (Watson) gave an over of 25 runs and telling him its ok, talking encouragingly to each player (some of whom dont even understand English very well), praising the 'young Swapnil' and Yusuf and the others, giving them the deserved credit, and taking very litle himself, will not leave me for a long time to come.

All in all, Im a little worried about what Im gonna do with all the excitiement and energy Ive managed to build up in the last 45 days. Phew.

Cats the way we like it?

Theres a new radio station on air. Its Mumbai's only 'Women only' channel. Err... women only channel? Do they not have male RJ's? Do men not tune in? Its called (wonder of wonders) 'Meow'.

Why Meow? Why women only? Not only did i find the idea ridiculous, but on tuning in, the channel itself is a waste of time. The discussions range from (hold your breath) 'Boyfriends' to 'Why Men are such fools' to (gasp) 'What women really want'.

The next step in progressing would possibly be discussing the 'Recipe for the week' sent in by an avid Meow listener im guessing. What a breakthrough in strategy . The channel clearly differentiates itself, carving a niche no one can (and will) dare enter - complete foolishness.

I wonder how i could forget to mention the traditional 'hello' being replaced by the (wow again) 'Meow'. it goes like this 'Hello abc, Meeeoow' and abc has to oblige with a 'Meeow' back. YIKES.

Someone explain to the world that we dont want womenhood celebrated in this way. We dont like cats, we dont like saying 'Meow' instead of hi, and we CERTAINLY dont like wasting time discussing boyfriend issues which for one, will ALWAYS be around. Men will always be Men and there will always be subsequent problems. :) Besides there are enough shows on the tele discussing these!

What we want instead, is an equal platform. Recognition. Gratification (from egoistic male boors who would rather die than admit it) for being the powerful assertive and rational beings that we are. Gifts, for being put through the confusion that surrounds male lives and having to help them deal with it. [Someone made on movie on 'what women want', why dint they just ASK]

A women only channel that calls itself 'Meow' is just moving in the reverse direction. I figured the COO is definitely male. [NO OFFENSE INTENDED] Its just validation of my initial guess.

The below excerpt from here.

Explaining the brand name Radio Today COO Anil Srivatsa said, "Meow embodies the attributes of a woman, where she can be all by herself. It symbolises spirituality, sensuality, professionalism. It is more than a cat call as everyone initially perceives. The cat is much more feminine, clean and free in itself. The various moods of a woman is explained. When somebody says meow four times, he can't help laughing. "

Really???? Thats how the womans mood is being explained??!!

Its no coincidence (Im guessing) that the channel is based on a 'On the air' host format rather than rather than 'jockeys' who host music programming. Since women love to talk?

I miss the midnight shift with Glen and the accompanying jingle 'I knoww your gonnaa diggg thiss!'

F1 - 2008 is here finallyyyyy

'Its not because of a woman, its because of eleven men'
And to top it off, F1 season kicks off on March 16th, at Melbourne, Australia. Can the 2008 season possibly be as close-fought and competitive as last year? Will anyone step up to challenge Ferrari and McLaren at the front of the field?

Kimi the iceman Raikkonen,to you my support i pledge.

Go Barca!!

Am i the only woman who thinks Xavi Hernandez is verrrryyyy NICE. (IF you-know-what-I-mean). All in favor say aye. lol.

While on the subject, two really insane Football games were watched by one. Saturday night MANU - Arsenal (4-0)(actually this was less of a game and more of a pulverisation). and today Barca vs Celtic. (3-2). While the former was dominated by MANU from the start (2-0 in 20 mins), and (3-0) by half time, todays game Barca vs Celtic was seriously thrilling to watch.

I got home in time to watch the re-run... When i turned on the TV it was 2-2, (Barca - Henry and Messi) Celtic (dont know the spellings of the two fellas lol). BUT WHAT A GAME! Although Barca dominated the game throughout (80-85% ball possession, 500 passes completed) the second half, it was still a delight to watch considering the BRILLIANT footwork by Ronaldinho, Messi, Henry, Deco (substitued in the second half, think 10 mins before time).

Touch and go touch and go seemed to be the strategy for Barcelona, no player retained the ball for too long, the passes were well manoeuvered and even better executed, Celtic did not stand a chance. Also, the Celtic uniform reminded me of a little boys sailor unniform in green stripes instead of blue :) They also have a player called Mc Donald btw! (why would u name your kid that?!)

Messi had another goal in the 79th minute, very very well done. Honorable mention to Thierry Henry who managed to cut past the Celtic defenders and reach clear to receive some beautiful cross'es delivered to him, but were well saved by the goalkeeper. (in usual style, he also tried getting some free kicks etc which didnt really work. i hate when he behaves like a whiny footballer, he did the same in the World cup as well %^&*$##%^)

Ronaldinho has had a good season so far, albeit injury ridden. 8 games 6 goals. he can do better...he too was substitued in the second half, but after some really fancy footwork and outstanding runing.

Truly worth my one hour I'd say.

Hair me out...

Sources (ME) have confirmed that Meg Ryan is OFFICIALLY one hollywood actor who has NEVER had ANY good hair days. Albeit, she is cute and has starred in some FANTASTIC movies.

However it wouldve been nice to see her looking slightly nicer, with hair that actually looked combed and pants that did'nt look two sizes bigger. Let me not start on a certain co-star in When Harry met Sally (but if i had to start, i dint know whose hair looked worse).

Given all her bad choices in moppy hair and floppy pants, i still like her. She has that naive, girl next door, 'i believe in Prince Charming' [pls notice the use of Caps denoting proper noun], 'there ought to be fireworks and lightning' kind of look. Her character in Sleepless in Seattle? A BIG part of me. In Pursuit of magic and fireworks and the 'SIGN'!

Another man whose hand i want to shake simply for being such a fine judge of good movies to star in - Tom Hanks. Id say just about Average looks, below average hair (and a totally receding hairline), but the man has starred in some of my favorite movies! Forrest Gump, Cast away, Sleepless in Seattle [which ahem, I watched yesterday which is why this Meg-Ryan-Tom-Hanks euphoria. Thank you HBO for caring for us dateless souls :) ], You got mail, and SOOOO many more.

While on the topic, a few more people i like and why :)

• Actor who played the most believable blind guy imitation - Al Pacino, Scent of a woman
• Most innocent looking Male actor - Chris O Donell
• Hottest Bald men - Vin Diesel and Colin Farrell
• Director with movies i KNOW ill love - Martin Scorcese
• Most versatile actor - (among many) Will Smith. the man acts and sings and dances and raps and does charity and is a loving doting husband and looks N-I-C-E and has that cute african-american accent

I have a LOT other categories, but they all somehow start with "Hottest..." Hence, this is the right time to terminate this blog post. :):) Any more nominations?

Standard disclaimer rules apply

As an afterthought, just wanted to add (in context of my blog post below)

• If your a woman, reading this AND getting mad at me, then you probably have some or all qualities ive spoken about, hence getting defensive and angry. I apologise for bringing your problems to the fore, but if you can take my advice, nothing like it :)
• If your a woman , and thinking 'Exactly!' or 'serendipity u hit the nail on the head' then, CONTACT ME!
• If your a man and getting mad at me, then join the gang. Im always pissing off people.
• If your a man and NOT getting mad at me, and want to marry me (thank you Aditya!), then again, join the gang. as you can see, women like this are highly desirable. and errr modest.

And oh, the usual. The post was not meant to hurt feelings of ANYBODY, had no connection with anyone living or dead, specially anyone in my life. For any feelings that were evoked whilst reading the post, kindly refer to the bullet points above. And, Happy Valentines day!!