Meet or Beat

Is my company's guidance for this quarter - we have to Meet or Beat our revenue guidance which as it stands, is to remain flat over Q3. Im almost wondering if we're hopecasting - Setting ourselves up for failure.. but that remains to be seen.

Layoffs finally happened last week - on Thursday. It was one of the most emotionally turbulent days I've had in a while. Despite the fact that my building wasn't hit as hard since all the C-Level execs / Worldwide Business Management and Finance folks sit in this bldg, I had a hard time putting on my big girl face.

We lost 4 people from my team of 25 - of which one person was someone I was very close to. I am meeting him for lunch tomorrow so I'm feeling better already, but it was tough to know he had been laid off. He was a senior manager, and we dint work together, but interacted a lot over team lunches and book discussions.

The atmosphere at work on layoff day is like someone has died - the air is thick with grief almost, the silence is sickening, the presence of additional security is unnerving and seeing empty cubicles where people used to sit a few hours ago is eerie. I went out the entire weekend - to drinks with J, C, and B on Friday, shopping at the Outlet mall on saturday, dinner with MBA peeps on sat night, brunch with a meetup crew on Sunday and finally dinner at home sunday night - JUST to get my mind off things. 

Life in corporate America is a far cry from working back home. Here, everyone is an individual contributor - the culture is individualistic vs the more collectivist culture back home. It takes some getting used to - but I can see how being accountable and having to stick up for every number /slide /word that you put out / say / present makes you work smarter, harder, and clean up your own mess as opposed to knowing there's a team behind you as a fall back option.

Life is also stressful in that layoffs in America are so commonplace that sooner or later you ought to expect the axe to fall on you. The last few weeks were unsettling, uneasy and restless for me - knowing there will be layoffs, not knowing when they will be or who they will affect. I had been given enough feelers by my director that he valued my skills to know that it was unlikely that I would lose my job, BUT STILL. I am the kind of person who believes actions > words, so until something doesn't ACTUALLY happen, you can say something to me a bazillion times and I won't believe you. It serves me well, in professional and personal settings, to have low expectations and not to have my hopes riding on people's words. 

I'm glad we're past the bloodbath - we're not in another state of turmoil - of 'reorg' and 'realignment' and skill set mapping and what not - but at least we're past the major cuts. I can breathe easy for a while..

My director keeps telling me that I'm gonna be a corporate warrior once I've advanced in my career - that because I've gone through so much stuff so early on in my career I'll develop a thick skin.. For my sake, I hope he's right.. It was hard being so upset all last week, there was almost nothing I could say or do to make myself feel better or stronger. I know this is probably being naive, but I'd love to never have to go through a layoff again, in any capacity... 

Those things..

I realized today how there are some things in life that we just take for granted - or rather I do. For instance - getting and keeping a job, humor, age, good friends, family.. the list actually is longer than I expected. I assume that I am entitled to all of the above, and maybe so - but thats not always the case, and having some or all of them isnt a right, but a privilege.

I am working part time as i study right now at the company where I interned over the summer.. today this company laid off a sizeable chunk of its global workforce. I was at work when it happened and was completely shaken up. The atmosphere was gloomy, there were guards everywhere, cubes looked empty - all in all, it was eerie as hell.

Thats when I thought of the 50 year old man with the wife and two kids whose going home to tell his family that after 25 years at a company doing what he did best, or doing the only thing he knew - he no longer had a job. That too, in this economy with even fewer jobs in the market - even fewer for older recruits who havent been nimble in their career...

I thought of my own education loan and how important it is for me to earn in $$ - how vital it is to my career to get a job from my graduation to make it economically a viable investment of the two years of my life -and then I think about how easily i signed my offer letter, and how in my mind I assumed it was coming.. What if it had'nt? What if that 50 year old man was me? I am a huge proponent of not second guessing oneself and I am rarely the one to do so.. but today was a wake up call - one to be thankful for what I have and who I have.. to be aware of my privileges and cognizant of my luxuries..

The two people from my team who got laid off, i dont even know, but as I heard about them, I had tears in my eyes.. on a conference call with our VP he was telling us about the marketing department that has 40% of the team gone.. and to be sensitive to them and I had goosebumps.

These past 1.5 years in a new country have just been all kinds of experiences... learning to cope has been a challenge, but i hope to look back at these times and have become a better stonger person then..

Identification?

Lately I've been noticing very keenly the behavior of other Indians in my surroundings, particularly since I realized there are certain traits which are a very recurrent, and specific habit. Let me name a few.

• At the gym at work, there was an elliptical which was not working and would make LOUD disturbing sounds if you stepped on it and worked it. I once got on, and got off a minute later realizing its not working. HOWEVER, 5 minutes later another guy (Indian) got on, and used it for 45 mins basically making enough noise to overpower the gym music and create a nuisance for everyone around. The next day, there was another guy (also Indian) using the same noisy machine and the next and the next until finally the management put up a board saying it does not work. It is beyond me how 4 grown men can ignore loud noisy rattles from a machine for prolonged periods and not notice what a racket they were making. EVERYONE else seemed to realize the machine was not working, save for these (all Indian) I keep trying to tell myself its a coincidence, but how?


• Another gym related incident, C and I work out together and were on two side by side ellipticals watching Seinfeld on the television RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. A guy (Indian) came up on the elliptical next to C, walked over to the television and switched channels without asking us. I was shocked - i could understand if he did so if C and I were chatting, or on our headphones and not watching, but we clearly were. Was'nt this basic courtesy?


• Today at our world cast, the webcast done by our CFO and interim CEO - we had a host of C level executives address a crowd which was full of employees, online viewers, academia, consultants, bankers and such. Our CFO, CTO and other executives were well turned out in either a suit jacket with a nice chirt and pants or a nice formal shirt and pants. HOWEVER, our CORPORATE VP, is an Indian and he got up to address the audience (of over 250 people) in a shirt that looked unironed and with HUGE sweat marks on his arms and stomach, the shirt was untucked. Now Im usually NOT the one to judge on appearances, but this time, YES. I think i wasnt the only one who winced at the size of those sweat baubles on his shirt. You wouldve thought that if your addressing a crowd this big, with stakeholders involved, you'd make somewhat of an effort? Now I understand sweating is a problem for many, specially Asians. I m prone to sweat like a man sometimes as well BUT when i know i am going to be at an important event and If i know I am goign to be out in the sun / somwhere sweaty I will carry a change. the result was that of all the executives who stood on stage and spoke, the Corp VP, Indian - looked the LEAST professional - to the point where it was awkward. WHY?!!!!


• I knew this had to happen at some point. workign with an Indian vendor - given the level of outsourcing. I was definitely not prepared for this - when i wrote in for a simple request, the agency wrote back to me doubling over backwards in apologies and sorry's and thank you's. I remember my time at the agency - while we were client servicing - i dont remember being subservient to the point that my emails contained 100's of apologies.

I'm not sure what exactly the point im making here is. I just wish that with the amount of talent my country has, we'd just learn to carry ourselves a little better in society, and COMMAND respect.

The ARGHHHH files

How to fail a driving test 6 times in the USA (while havign driven 6 years in the rest of the world).

• rolling stop at stop signs



• taking a right turn from a not-so-rightmost lane



• not yielding to vehicle on main road



• even though the right turn is FREE, STOP COMPLETELY and then turn



• hit a curb while parallel parking



• not stop for 'long enough' at the stop sign according to the instructor

LIKE SERIOUSLY? Is this really happening?

And to top if off, How NOT to get paid 3 weeks in a row.

• Forget to fill your timesheet in before the hardstop Monday 11am deadline. For this I AM PISSED OFF. Hello, Im an intern, please TELL me when Im supposed to do these things SPECIALLY if i wont get paid for it.


• Have your manager forget to approve it. PLEASE HR, inform our full time managers who dont fill time sheets that they're important to us measly Interns.

I fail to understand why Im running up against all these administrative hurdles. EVERYONE else seems to be doing ok! A friend of mine, who I DRAGGED to the DMV got his license at the first try, and he dint even study for the written!! I TALKED him through all the important things and he's done! I JUST WANT MY LICENSE AND I JUST WANT TO GET PAID.
Too much to ask for? And also, its that time of month. why not just make sure my week tumbles to the secret compartment below the bottom of the barrel of shit, right?

The Consultant type

With NO apologies for typecasting and acknowledging that exceptions DO exist, my MAJOR peeves with consultant (ex or present) colleagues and or bosses.

• Talk at the speed of light as though being billed for each word


• A-N-A-L about font colors, size and format. I'm a stickler for neatness and clean classic slides as well but I wont make someone 'do-over' an entire ppt over the header color.


• Backtrack like its free. Mycurrent boss, an ex consultant has backtracked on so many things she's wanted me to do. Luckily I write. and draw. each thing during our meeting. which means I can pull out 'remember u had said this' which ends with a 'err, ok ya well no lets not do it like that' and take away a day of my work. thanks.


• Assume taking a day off is wrong and life is ALL ABOUT WORK. my boss has been coming to work sick as a horse since the last two days and apologized (to me) about not being at work on Monday. I was like hellno, u shoulda stayed home today and tomorrow as well. She seemed guilty for havign had 8 hours of sleep on sunday :-/


• UNREALISTIC. no wait, RIDICULOUSLY UNREALISTIC time expectations. Apparently everything can get done in an hour or day. MAX.


• No Hi hello how are you doing today. The minute you start talking to them, it better be business.

Like CHILL people. Work gets done and life is about having fun. and working too but fun basically. I am SO glad I decided against recruiting for consulting. while i could do with the extra bucks, im glad I have a life.

Work and other scary things

Internships are stressful jobs. In 3 months or less one is expected to show off your best and come out with a full time offer, or a pre placement as they’re called in some places. They’re a source of judgement as not getting a full time could be considered a sign of a bad job. There are times though that the team doesn’t have the budget to support you, or you were not the best fit, but did a good job anyway. That doesnt matter. You dint get a full time.

When it comes to me, going by my job title, Global pricing strategy and planning, it’s an exciting, new role and something Ive never done before. And also something that makes me worry. I love data, and interpreting it (after 4 years of consumer insights) and would say im pretty good analytically as in, I can interpret data well and spot trends and make a story and link disjoint events. But I’m no genius at crunching numbers – at working on complex piece of valuations or formulae. I’m terrible at Finance, averaging a B- in the first semester. I’m even WORSE at accounting. (way worse) Which leads to me thinking – I hope I can manage to do a good enough job to get a full time out of this. While I’m not sure where when what I want to do and be, I like the company so far and am having a good experience. I am out of my comfort zone staring at millions of excel numbers, but at the same time excited to see sell in, sell out and supremely confidential numbers. I’ve had to suck it up and learn to love pivots (which are as awesome as people say they are) as well as troll through investor relations presentations and pick up market intelligence. Having said that, I am super tense and have no idea how this will pan out. Will my weak area be really obvious or will I be able to prove my worth as an overall employee?

I was telling an old colleague today whose seemed lost and distant since his last job shift how sometimes a place change can make a world of a difference. Sometimes when things are like this, and dont feel right for a long time - a change of scenery works, or starting afresh...I found my old self in moving 100,000 miles away from home. I found my carefree spirit, I found that ring in my laughter, I found that excitement to waking up everyday and doing new things and being surrounded by new places and faces. I found a reason to work hard and confidence that I had so much to work towards ... just by moving here.

So often, far far too many times we hear of others or even ourselves saying ‘I’m in a rut’ or ‘I feel as though Im stagnating’. The ONLY thing that can ever help you out is acceptance of the situation and a severe change in something – routines, job, home, country. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone and makes you look at things anew.
When I moved to the US I had to learn how to do laundry, drive on the other side of the street, self check out grocery and a million other mundane things but which were fun, and exciting. I learnt to cook and discovered I’m a pretty good at it. If it hadn’t been for the courage to do this, I would’ve missed out.

A full circle

Serendipity,
Intern Global Pricing Strategy and Planning CM Optimization

You know you’ve come a full circle when you reach this designation. It feel strange being an intern all over again, specially after havign workd for 4 years. Although I wonder what it must be like for a lot of my classmates with twice my work experience. Looking back at my first year of MBA and this internship and contrasting it with Indian education, I know we’ve got a long way to go.
First and foremost this concept of doing an MBA or any masters right after undergrad needs rethinking. I have not a single 22 year old in my class, the youngest being 26 years old with 3 years of work ex. Working brings so much perspective to ones thought process and orients your mind to thinking like senior management unlike the fresh faced almost kids graduating as MBA’s.
Being an intern here is serious business with all of us working on high impact projects – a little unnerving but also a great challenge, and you’re expected to build off from your work experience as well as the education youre getting in B school to be able to handle it. In short the MBA focuses on making you a manager, a leader and a businessman – not someone who can read textbooks and regurgitate information on a written test. In fact, most of my classes in the second half were not even written tests - they were case analyses, projects, presentations etc.
Which brings me to the second thing – testing. Indian MBA’s have to move away from the written test format as well. I had a few friends go to Bschool in Mumbai and saw them cram from textbooks the night before the exams much in the same fashion I studied for engineering – textbook rote. That takes away from application altogether.
Thing is, we all come to the US for higher education for many of the same reasons – its just a richer quality here. Which does make a case for brain drain. Its not just engineers and PHD students the US is luring away now, its also business professionals, future leaders. Funny thing is the US is under flak for giving jobs to so many Indians so ideally they wouldn’t want us here, whereas India would, but there arent enough opportunities anymore.

Its almost surreal how if I was back in India everythings changed with my circle of friends – we’re in the 27-28 age band now, and everyone back home is married/engaged/formally announced marriage. I was in for a HUGE shocker when I found out my best friend is pregnant after her marriage last year. It was GREAT news, but unexpected. She’s extremely excited about it, and so am I but it was strange nonetheless. Here I am being a student and my bestest friend, the closest thing to a sister is pregnant! Thing is, we’ve lived 5 mins from each others house since the last 20 years, gone to the same school, college, moved to the states together so her life is very synonymous with mine.. except the marriage of course. So when she called to tell me shes pregnant for the first ten mins of that phone conversation I dint believe her! I of course had to make up for that by sending her red velvet cake. I cant imagine her being a mommy – we’re such kids ourselves. I LOVE animated movies, rides, lollipops, am scared of scary movies, I LOVE Dave and Busters and Universal studios and disneyland and my idea of parenting is cuddling up to a baby. So is hers!

Speaking of friends – the other best friend from Mumbai finally had the time to write me an email last night. It gives me no explanation as to why she never had even 5 minutes to write back, or wish me, or reply to my calls, or facebook messages. She dint even reply to a thread I had posted on her facebook wall asking how she’s doing. She’s quitting her job next month and will be taking a break and I feel like she wrote to me because her time opened up, which hurt. I don’t think I will reply to this email, simply because I think she doesn’t deserve a reply from me. Guess ill see her when I go home in december. I feel bad, but enough of this being there for someone to walk on and then be there again when they need you.
In other news, I got a car! Im now a full fledged working girl living alone (temporarily) driving to work, cooking over the weekend and wait, I sound 45.

I'm closer to where I started..

Now playing - Hanging by a moment (Lifehouse)

It's finally over and done with. The last day at work, for the next two years. After the past 4 years 1 month and 15 days of working in 2 companies, I finally said goodbye to my office on thursday, 15th April. I henceforth rewind the clock backwards into 2 years of studenthood, in another city, on another continent and a whole new world.

It was bittersweet - the last day at work. We underestimate how much people you spend at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week begin to mean to us. On some heavy work months I spent more time with colleagues than even family! I left packing my desk and all its collectibles until the very last day - I couldnt imagine sitting there with a bald, empty desk even for a day. Its strange that the only things I had started off with were a frame of Ganpati and a picture frame of my Mom and I. Everything else on my desk accumulated over 3 years - farewell gifts, momentos, travel gifts, thank you gifts, secret santa gifts - you name it. Needless to say my desk was one more article away from being rented out by Hallmark.

It was those little things Ill remember most - packing away tiny gifts and remembering what they were for, getting that last signature on my full and final and submitting my swipe card - that loss of belonging, deleting all signs of my person on the computer - pictures, links, changing my screensaver. As I mailed myself all my bookmarked links - blogs of people I checked each day, I realized how attached I was to the well being and the updates of a few bloggers, strangers I'd bumped into, but who occupy a few minutes of my life each and every day. Now that was a realization.

I'm melancholic about having left - I had a great experience, with super bosses and a fantastic team, very fun peers and fantastic opportunities. I was a misfit of sorts, a person without a masters in a highly specialized niche, managing only through common sense and confidence. My last day turned out to be a fitting one as my friends made me a very thoughtful collage of all our pictures, painstakingly selected to include each person I had a bond with - although they left out the smiling gentle kakas - the watchmen who wish you first thing everyday, the one who bought me prasad from Siddhivinayak each tuesday.

I tend to be tipped on the scale of sentimentalism, if my blog already dint indicate that. So that day, I was determined not to cry. I knew i'd find it hard, cos its me, but i was on a mission. The put on a brave face cos your moving on to a new phase in life face. So I went about the day, doing what I love most - talking to every person who made a difference to my years there, and clicking snaps with all of them, thinking up captions for each picture. Thing is, when your around for a long enough time, specially todays attrition-riddled generation, a stint of 3 years+ means your probably among the oldest employees around. It also means you know everyone from cross functional departments - commercial, HR, etc. I was surprised, and touched by the genuine affection I was bestowed with, one that served as a detriment to my no crying agenda. Did I pull it off though? Yes. I did. well, almost. The breaking point came when I was accompanied to the taxi by all of 15 people, more a spectacle than anything else (Had i been not so emotionally overwhelmed, I wouldve made inappropriate jokes about how this was like a scene from Hindi movies when one person is moving from the village to the city and almost the entire village comes to see him off). At that time though, I interpreted it all as love.

Thats the thing though, life is just so much more myriad when you magnify each emotion, when you give and receive, love and be loved. Life really, is about the living, not the surviving.

Its tough moving on from a place of comfort, a zone of accomplishment, where everyone knows you for who you are and what your capable of. I, look at it as stagnating. Battling strangely intricate feelings, saddled with a healing heart and uncertainties was not easy. But again, who said anything that was worth something is?

What I did this summer!

Wednesday, 7th April - Mumbai - Chennai

Thursday, 8th April Chennai - Delhi

Friday, 9th April Delhi - Kolkata

Saturday, 1oth April - Kolkata - Mumbai

3 days, 3 cities. Was madnessly tiring but fun as a concept. Only wish I had done the 'Golden Quadrilateral' by road and not air. Had to since was travelling on work. The highlights of the trip...

• The last flight back home was half an hour late, and this was the most on time I got anywhere, averaging between an hour to and hour and half late.
• Kolkata was 41'c!
• I ate 4 meals by myself and hence the eating alone at a place phobia has been overcome.
• I broke a plate at the buffet :/
• Creepy guy on the flight said he'd add me on facebook. I therefore proceeded to misspell my last name.
• Lived with her at Kolkata! YAY! :)
• It turned dark at 6.30 p.m. in the evening at Kolkata whereas Chennai and Delhi were bright as sunshine!
• I saw a TRAM at Kolkata!

What with the Recession and all....

PIPS* WILL BE CHIPS :(

(* Performance Incentive Program Payments - Salary component, usually over and above amount mentioned in CTC, depending on performance of company, team, individual etc)

Fed Ex vs. Rafa last evening. Clash of the Top two seeds in the world of Tennis. Conversation with Mom just before the Match -
Me - "So, Mom whose side are you on?" {Mom's a DIE HARD Federer Fan}
Mom - " Federer, But Nadal has been playing so well, and its commendable how much of a challenge he poses to Federer. (pauses for a minute) No wait, Im a Federer Fan, so Federer.
(Some time into the match when Nadal just wins his second set with some BEAUTIFUL angled forehand shots)
Mom - (exults with semi Yahoo type stance) "Hes playing so well no? He should just stay cool now, and concentrate on breaking Federer in the first 2 games itself."
Me - "err, whose side are you on?"
Mom - "Nadal!"
Rangbadlu girgit type side switching detailed above continued throughout the match. When the game was at a crucial 2 sets all (and unfortunately we were out) but when told, she had an incredibly perplexed "Oh no, whom to support look now" with so much sincerity that I pinched her cheek and found her ultimately cute.
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Rafael, your cute. I like how your Racquet matched your wristband which matched your headband which in turn matched your shoes, which were contrasting your shirt very well. It brought our your tanned, even skin perfectly. Having said that, PLEASE wear better underwear. It was truly painful to see you undo wedgies every time it was your serve or 4 minutes, whichever came sooner.
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Here's a fair warning. At a party, If you take it upon yourself to order shots for a half a dozen people (or more) at a party, ASK THEM IF THEY WANT IT. Specially if said shot were to cost 400 bucks a piece, and taste like bitter bathwater and needs to be washed down with sprite.
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I just did this. And it turns out that my top three Qualities are Confidence, Openness, Extrovertism and Empathy. Which is true, but what about My great sense of humor and looks? GAHH. :)
Also, it said semi-high masculinity (68%) so i now have an official statistic to prove tomboyishness. err, anyone think i ought to be ashamed of this? hehehe
And you, reading this, DO IT! But, please to be making sure that 20 minutes are free since the quiz has long introspecting questions and 11 pages. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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You know that feeling when a client calls you up and RUSH RUSH RUSH this job is so urgent and time lines are so critical and then out of dedication to duty you work work work and get job done in condensed amount of time, only to mail said client and you get an out of office reply?
"I (client) will be out of office until the 15th of February with no access to mails and blah"
Aren't they just peachy?
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Last Sunday, the three girlies J, U and I sat for an hour and a half discussing travel plans (which I fear shall remain in exploratory phase only) to very ambitious (and out of budget) places like Ireland, Gold Coast, Ibiza, Bali and such. If any kind soul in aforementioned places would like to offer us help (stay, food and money lol) and advise, please feel free to do so. Also, European readers (if any) please to offer backpacking help which shall be reimbursed on your trip to India (or something).
Knowing trip above may not work out, I went ahead and made plans for Leh Laddakh with N. Leddus see where I go finally. Leddus hope I go SOMEWHERE finally.
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The Nomad and Serendipity met before their Indiahelps meeting very ambitiously to grab a soup and sandwich before. We called the Soup Watermelon Juice and the Sandwich was called an 8" Veggie Delight pizza.
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And I leave you with that. And this - :)

The Recession hits home. After a few months of reading about half the companies across the world downsizing and giving a staggering percent of its workforce the pink slip, I can feel the effects of the slowdown. i.e I have NO work.

Which is a refreshing break from having a LOT of it. Which had been the case until very recently. Weekends, late evenings early mornings, all were devoted to my (not so) beloved desk @ work.

That said, I need 2-3 hours of work AT LEAST! 8 hours of surfing the Internet a day and fixated to one chair in one very cosy corner can pose several predicaments i.e. feeling uncontrollably sleepy, infinitely bored (how many blogs can u read), although this website proved to be good fun and sufficed for a while.

Most others are oscillating between the score (shhhhh they don't know it works) and discussing impending weekend plans. My own plans today have undergone a change. I was to attend a bollywood dance class today, (a free trial version) as I am (rightfully so) wary of my dance skills. Did i say skills? I guess it must be a typo. It is a well established fact among my inner circle (argh who'm i kidding) everyone around me that apart from talking a lot (and well :)) I have no talents. The write-in-resume type talents. Singing is something I indulge in only when no one is around, or in LOUD noisy night clubs when my voice will be drowned out anyway, since I wouldn't want to afflict someone near and dear with nightmares.

Painting of course was ruled out in school with me getting 18/50 (passing marks) for 3 years consecutively with my art teacher confessing to me that she passes me only since I was a good student otherwise. I nearly failed this once when the topic was 'A visit to the zoo'. Now for a person whose people at best look like reflections in trick figures and grotesquely disfigured, imagine what my animals would have resembled. To save face, I chose easy animals - which resulted in snakes placed next to birds. Which were the only two animals i drew. The rest of the space was occupied by a back profile of balloon seller and a tree that hid the section labelled 'Tigers' from view. Luckily since I had a way with words, I managed to convince the teacher that I meant no mockery of :"Art" when I drew that and it was simply the consequence of a person who reallyyy cant draw, attempting to do so.

This adequately covers the non singing non drawing non painting genre of talents. Which leaves me with the only stuff i EVER put on my resume - elocution, debates, extempore and the likes. Damn, still in the talking domain. *sigh* oh well, Ill live.

Err, I was about to explain change in plans when I digressed and HOW. So here's what happened. Complete boredom leads to sluggishness and bad tracking of dates et all. So Woman (i.e. me) nicely set up dance date while one close friend from America is about to step foot on home ground after an absence of nearly 2 years. Whats more, so convinced was I that she was landing tomorrow and not today, and I told everyone who was planning to go to the airport that we need to go on friday and not today. Equals, NO ONE WENT TO THE AIRPORT. I naturally need to apologise profusely and take all blame and come out looking like the bigger person. But still, I hate ditching one friend for another. Which im doing in this case. Dance class mate will have to wate. err wait. (so complete boredom also leads to deteriorating quality of jokes it seems).

Currently Reading - Love in a torn Land and Shogun. Just done with 1984. And I must say this - Those of you who haven't read it, MUST. I haven't been so deeply engrossed in a book this way in a very long time. Needless to say it was a delicious experience. Every time I put the book down, it would take me a minute or two to acclimatize to where i was and what i was originally doing. You know that very satisfied, refreshed feeling you get once you read a REALLY good book? I do. :)

Sidenote - Recession seems to have hit blogggerland too. So Many blogs I would occasionally read have been shut down. Even the others have been blogging at alarming slow frequencies

Dilbert

Someone at work sent me this. I died laughing. How many times have we been in such a situation!!!

Zen sarcasm - "No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously" hehehe

(Dis) orientation

Its confirmed. The whole concept of scaring bosses away. Two jobs, 18 months, 5 bosses. phew. Which effectively means no boss has done my review more than once. Or been around for longer than 3 months. Could come up with a whole bunch of statistics which proves my bosses quit too soon. Ive been lucky though, with NO exception, i would LOVE to work with any of them again.

Its a pattern for me. At my previous company too, i worked with one boss for 3 months, she quit, we shifted floors, he quit, I quit (else would've shifted floors again). Here i am, job # 2, I work for 3 months, he quits, she quits, we shift floors, he quits, we shift floors again. YIKES. i feel like a yo yo. i wonder IF this boss quits too, will we shift floors again?! maybe I should just quit and end the cycle eh?

Ive spoken about this before too, this degree of comfort which is required to get me to go somewhere for a min of 8 hrs a day, nearly 320 days a year. I need to orient myself to the smallest things - for eg my previous floor had incandescent light and nicely painted yellow pillars which mad3 it very lively. this floor (which i was on in the 1st place) has tube lights and a dull white and dark blue setting. GAH. even things like direction of seating, computer, leg space are big on importance.

Its just very unsettling, every one's either quit, quitting or wanting to quit! Everyone complains of complacency, frustration, low pay etc. But to be honest, I have friends who are senior position wise, who are earning much more (and commensurate with their post/experience etc) and still complaining about their pay. While i think reaching a point where your satisfied with your job and life is dangerous (i think there should ALWAYS be a little wind space between completely content and where you are currently) i also think that there are certain things that will just not change - People will ALWAYS complain about money, and the fact that the company does very little for them, and that they work too much for too little etc.

Honestly I'm sick of it. Ive been in two companies i know its not much, but the grass is always greener! My first company is the "aspirational" company - i.e. people generally tend to move from here to there not the other way round like Ive done. Its supposed to be bigger better and cooler. Hogwash. while it is bigger market wise, everyone there complains about quality of work life, low pay and company nonchalance. the same problems everywhere!

I think somewhere, we need to look at ourselves, and what we are doing for the company rather than the other way round every time, maybe life will be a little better. I know mine is.

Who invented Mondays $^#&*#@!^%

Maniac Mondays.

Whoever coined that word is a genius. It truly is. Maniac would describe my state of mind right now. Getting back to work after 2 whole days of lazing around is truly a punishment. There also seem to be so many things to be irritated about. Derth of good movies, return of the withdrawal symptoms, too many birthdays to shop for, morning paper came late, lunch was cold. Argghhh.
Desk jobs aren’t my thing. I should’ve been a motivational speaker or something. Or any job that involved talking and giving advice. Another thing I hate is when people know what their own problem is and instead of accepting it and moving on, saying “I’m like this I cant help it”. It bugs me. Don’t people know that acceptance is the first step towards recovery!!

I seem to be full of things im bugged with right now. It’s the Monday effect I tell you. I've begun having Monday morning blues from Saturday night itself. Won’t be far off when ill be depressed about Monday from Friday itself. Jeez.

Random thought just struck me, I wonder if my client has a blog. If she does im sure her entries will be one liners without punctuations and greetings. Actually she’s quite nice. Client servicing somehow instills this ability to make even the nicest clients look/sound/appear either like a complete dimwit or like the wicked witch from the west. I don’t remember the last time I met someone who had NO complains about his/her client. To be fair, if I did, I would think the person’s round the twist. I mean we aren’t supposed to like our clients!
Im being mean aren’t I? But what’s there, being nasty is therapeutic sometimes . Right now i need all the help i can get to snap out of this *mood*. Danger -thin ice.




The only thing cheering me up right now is this beautiful picture of Mumbai Meri Jaan.

Lights out

Turns out we can blog from work. thats brilliant. even more stuff i can pretend to be busy doing! so last night i had to tell my boyfriend about my blog. im not happy about it but men have this way of calmy emotionally blackmailing women without sounding like they're doing it. barely a second after i had uttered my link was he already on my page! it was freaky!! Im considering getting ANOTHER blog :)

Too many changes happenign in life right now. i hate work. everytime i get settled in with what im working on and the people around me, the job is shifted and the people leave. Im not one for complaceny, but a certain degree of comfort is required to get me to go somewhere for a min of 8 hrs a day, nearly 320 days a year. plus im plagued with this notion that wherever i go, my boss quits, which is not unfounded considering my director at my previous job left within 2 months of me being there, and my director at my new job did the same (he was the nicest boss EVER) also, the person i was reporting to, is in office for the next one week only! YIKES.
Next i know people wont hire me cos ill be the "one whose bosses quit".

I'm wondering if my boyfriend (lets call him V) will think theres very little being written about him. I'm thinkin there might be a whole post one day dedicated to him and what hes brought into my life. Maybe.